A Day of Star Wars Gaming...

Yesterday I had a really great time while gaming with some friends. We were taking part in the Star Wars based fantasy RPG which uses the d20 system (using a 20 sided dice for success roles). This is the part of this particular blog where I bore you with what characters I play. So, if you find you'll be bored with this seemingly mindless and useless information feel free to scroll on down to where I've printed "Silliness Ends Here" and you can pick up from there. Here we go...

Mad Mario, the master of all Game Masters (or GM for short) started us with this game about three years ago. The first character I rolled up was a Scoundrel named Jodz Burdoz and he was fashioned after a Han Solo type of character. But, so as not to be too cliche I gave him the personality of Kurt Russell's "Big Trouble in Little China" character, Jack Burton. So Jodz was played as a braggadocious, loud mouthed oaf with a heart of gold. My buddy, Bruce, played his Wookie sidekick, Scoobaloompa (Scoob for short) who was a vibro-axe carrying wookie who wore a Hawaiian shirt. We had the whole Han / Chewie vibe going, except it was slightly more extreme. Jodz and Scoob both had incredible ships. Scoob had a cool freighter we called "The Naughty Vixen" and it had a pin-up girl painted on the side of it. It also had some fun modifications to it such as a huge bacta tank (to boost health back up) and a small brigade (to hold bounties we need to return to either the Jedi, the Republic or nare-do-wells). During our 3rd game Jodz "acquired" a Sith Infiltrator. He named it "The Screaming Whor...errrr Wench" (We'll call it "The Screaming Wench" here in the blog as to not offend the weak minded / easily offended).

After a couple of years we hit a scenario where Scoob didn't make it out alive. There was such a good repore that we had with the characters that Jodz was kinda boring without his big, furry buddy. So a semi-retired Jodz flew off in "The Wench" and into space smuggler semi-retirement. I decided to role up another scoundrel, this time in the form of a Starship Ace who was of the alien species known as Lepi. Lepis are 6 foot tall, bipedal, green rabbits. Though they weren't seen in any of the movies there was one featured in one of the early Star Wars comic books. My Lepi, who goes by the name of Netto Loz, has inherited "The Naughty Vixen" from his old friend, Jodz and now captains our fine group of SW adventurers around the galaxy. I play Netto as Bruce Campbell's character of Ash from the Evil Dead movies. (No. I'm not linking all of that again. I've done so in the last 20 posts. So go back to those visit that blog.)

SILLINESS ENDS HERE:
.... and that's supposedly where the $50 million is hidden. Oh, hey, glad to see you guys who passed by the SWRPG stuff have joined the rest of us who're, unlike yourself, actually blessed with imagination. Now on to other stuff.

I also got to see two movies this weekend. Time Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" in the theater and "Constintine" on DVD. "Charlie..." is a fun movie. The set production is great, Johnny Depp (as Wanka) is great and the kids are great. There's also a cool cameo from one of my favorite actors. The story is very parallel to the original film with the exception of a few things. Depp's Wanka is more childlike than Gene Wilder's original slightly sinister Wanka. You also get a big peak into Willy's past as a child and why he is the way he is. I found it quite fun and enjoyable, but not one that I'll run out and by on DVD (like I did Burton's "Sleepy Hollow"). Again it's acute little film that leaves you with a warm feeling in your heart, but nothing spectacular.

"Constintitne" was a bit of a thorn in my side before it was ever released in the theater. As I have whined about in a past post, the casting of Keanu Reeves as modern day mage, John Constintine and Americanize the British comic book character ("John Constintine: Hellblazer") was Hollywood's way of saying, "Let's insult the intelligence of our viewers and completely frell up this character to try and make a bit of money off of this trite and lame script." Though, the movie did have a lot of features from the comic book, it lost it's charm that is so well captured in the book. The plot was typical Hollywood / supernatural dren that they could have easily replaced the character of Constintine with any old made up character. In all fairness, I like Keanu Reeves and he does ok with what he's given, even if it is a bastardization of the original content. Perhaps that's why it's already out on video a few short months after it came to theaters. If you're a fan of the comic, be prepared to be disappointed, although it might be worth a look (especially if one of your friends spent the money to rent it) for nothing more than morbid curiosity.

Well, I'm going over to Gemanfest with friends and family today, so I gotta go get ready.
Talk to ya soon.

Zangz.

An Evening with BRUCE CAMPBELL!

So.... Last night was the book signing ("Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way") and screening of his up and coming SciFi Channel film, "The Man with the Screaming Brain". I met up with an old gaming buddy, Leslie, at the old, historic theater the function was held at. By the time Leslie arrived, there was already a line starting to stretch outside the theater lobby, down the street and around the corner. And this was about and hour and a half before Bruce was to start signing. Over 300 people showed up. Popular guy, that Bruce.

Most of us purchased the book for him to sign, but some people weaseled in other items. Leslie brought her DVD of "Bubba-Ho-tep" and one woman brought a chainsaw for him to sign.

Close to the time of his arrival there were still a lot of people still funneling into the theater's ticket lobby. I suddenly notice this one guy, with longish black hair storm by the line and on into the main lobby. I'm thinking to myself, "Who the hell is this guy, blazing past the line of folks who've waited 2 or more hours? Wudda cork-knocker!!!" Ooops... it was Bruce Campbell, himself! Seems as Bruce has let his hair grow quite a bit and is due for a good shearing soon. (Ok, that was kind of a lame anecdote. But I was up late last night and I'm a little wishy washy this morning. You want funny? Go to the Onion.com)

Bruce was very cool and down to earth, making sure he took a little time to talk to everyone he signed for. When I got to him, he shook my hand and commented on the fact that I was wearing a funny Apocalypse Cow shirt and a Hawaiian shirt over that. "Why do some of you guys wear shirts with stuff to see under shirts with stuff to see?" and I replied, "So guys like you will notice that we're wearing a shirt with stuff on it over a shirt with stuff on it." (He didn't get the witty banter either.) We went on to talk very briefly about something else, but I forgot what. I was in the presence of BRUCE FRIGGIN' CAMPBELL, fercrissakes! But I do remember he ended our conversation with "Well, LAA-TEE-DA." Very cool guy.

Now,don't get me wrong. I love Bruce. He's a great guy and all, and was very gracious to come visit and sign for all of us screwheads. But, I gotta tell you one thing. Not a complaint, mind you. Just an observation. Upon examining his autograph more closely after he signed it, I realized he doesn't really sign his name, he inscribes some sort of squiggle or insignia or initials or san scritt or cuneiform or hieroglyphic or somthin'. But I can't really see any recognition of b-r-u-c-e c-a-m-p-b-e-l-l anywhere. I think I see a "g" or maybe it's a "y". I think if I examine it long enough I'll be able to make it out to be a map to the lost city of Atlantis. I'm just yankin' at Bruce's chain here. It really was a pleasure to get to meet him and talk briefly. It's always a treat when a celebrity has a good repore with his or her fans and is not an egotistical pain in the ass. You don't see or read about Bruce throwing phones at bellhops!!

Since there was a ton of time to kill before his Q&A and movie screening, Leslie and I got some grub at he diner next door. While we were sitting in our both, out of our window we saw some oddball dressed as Ellwood Blues (Blues Bros.) walking toward the theater. Dressing as Ash from "Evil Dead" I could see, but dressing as one of the Blues Bros. I didn't get. After dinner we went out and looked at the line of people. Again I saw this Ellwood Blues guy walking up and down the street. I thought maybe he was a Mormon trying to recruit people on the street or something.

In any case, we avoided him and went back into the theater and watched Bruce sing autographs and people watched. We finally got our seats in the theater and waited for quite a while. Outside of some drunk guy getting a tongue lashing from a theater manager, the wait was quite uneventful. But then, the curtains parted and there stood Bruce in front of the screen. Everybody went ape-poop and once we settled down the Q&A started. Of course one of the first questions to pop out someone's mouth was the ever popular "Is there going to be a Evil Dead 4?". This question had been asked trillions of times before at other Q&A's, message boards, websites, convention appearances and interviews. The answer was a firm "NO!" And with that the audience pounced on the quizzical, uninformed boy and throttled him soundly.

After a few questions Bruce brought in a special guest. From out of the crowd and up onto the stage flew the guy dressed as Ellwood sans the sunglasses and hat. It was Bruce's old buddy Ted Raimi!!! (Xena, Seaquest, brother of Spiderman / Evil Dead director, Sam Raimi). It wad a double dose of celebrity geek out!!!! Since Ted was also in "The Man with the Screaming Brain" he came upon stage and him and Bruce did some shtick and answered some more questions. Then they introduced the movie and disappeared into the night.

Since this blog is already getting way to frellin' long in the tooth, I'll tell you that the movie is quite hard to describe outright. Let's just say that it's a little goofiness within the Sci-Fi / Horror genres and will be on The Sci-Fi Network this coming September and out on video this October.

And that was an evening with Bruce Campbell!

Now if you got a few more seconds I'd like to introduce a new feature to Zangz's Blog of Geekdom. I'd like to call it "Website of the Moment" where when I find a website that I'm really impressed with I'll post up a link here and hope that some of you will check it out. So here we go....

WEBSITE OF THE MOMENT

SUPERMAN HOMEPAGE

I've never been a huge fan of Superman when it came to comics. I think he was a little too "goody goody" for my taste. I was always a sucker for the "dark and gritty" cliched books and hero's, myself. But , if you've ever followed Superman in any way shape of form (TV, movies, comics, collectible) THIS is THE place to check him out! It's got everything Super-related and is a great base of operations for fans of The Man of Steel.

Well, I'm finally through. I gotta go buy snacks and drinks for tomorrows Star Wars RPG I play in. I'll blog about it later. Have a darn fine weekend. And please stay away from any Boomsticks!

Zangz.

Another bothersome blog from an odd little man (or.... Anna gives us odd little men hope!)

You all know that I just had to do a blog on last night's series finale of "Average Joe". Well, FINALLY the Average Joe gets picked and the dolt of a pretty boy (Someone named Rocky) get tossed to the wolves. I hate to be such a bastage, but I was weak last night and did get some sadistic glee when he weeped by himself in the jeep taking him away. Once in a very blue moon karma comes back to ya. And after admitting that he had been unfaithful to more than one ex-girlfriend, his past caught up with him and he got what he had commin' served to him on a big assed "no sympathy for the pretty boy / model / actor" platter. Bwahahahahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Aaaaahahahahahah! (I'm a sad, sick, odd little man.)

Actually Anna (the "Beauty" of the show) didn't REALLY hook up with Nathan (the "Average Joe"). She pulled the ol' "Let's be friends before we get serious" safety net so that she could probably fly the coop once she met some new, shallow, rich, pretty boy cretin. Ahhh... there's nothin' like a well scripted" reality show" to mind-frell me. Looks like this was it for Average Joe as they did a quick review of the past three seasons with a big, "Thanks and good bye" at the end. Thus, the trilogy is finally complete. Good has triumphed over evil (somewhat) and all is good with the world once again.

In other news, I'm just a few short hours away from meeting Bruce Campbell, start of short lived western TV series "Brisco County Jr." and the "Evil Dead" movies. Here's my plan......

I'mgunnagethisautographthenstartmaking
wittybanterwithhimandhewilllaughhisterically
andthenwe'llhavesomesortofcoraspondancebetween
eachotherandhe'llslowlybecome
mybestfriendinthewholeworld(sorryGeoff)andwe'lltravel
theworldtogetherandgotoconventions togetherandhe'llintoducemetobeautifulactress'
thathecostarswithandI'llgetmarriedtooneofthemand liveoffofherincomeandBrucewillbemybestmanatmywedding!
sigh...

Then will come more restaining orders. Isn't that how it always ends? Isn't it? (sound of cricket's chirping)

Well, I gotta go now. I'll let you know how tonight's festivities end up.

Zangz.

City Suffering from Case of "Podunk".

It's Wednesday! You know what that means. It's another edition of "Zangz whines about last night's episode of 'Average Joe' again". We'll my first complaint is that this season has seemed to be quite abbreviated compared to the last two seasons. They started out with 20 some odd guys and already the beauty has voted them down to two contestants in like 3 episodes. How cheap is that? It's like a pocket sized reality show. The finale is tonight, I think, and again she has to choose between a really smart, down to earth, nice guy and a pretty boy (model/actor) who has the IQ and personality of toe jam. If this "season" goes the same direction the last two have, she'll be flying off into the sunset with Mr. Jam leaving the decent guy behind and rejected. Such is life.

In other craptastic news, certain city officials caved in to local businessmen and voted down a huge entertainment complex that was to be built in our downtown area that would have included a House of Blues and a huge video game complex along with some restaurants, movie theaters and other perks to bring people and money back down to the downtown area. Not to mention the boatload of jobs it would have opened up.

Every time this town has a chance to leap forward out of its "podunk" image, there are always city officials who frell it all up. Thirty some years ago this town indeed WAS as podunk as you could get. Nobody came to Milwaukee to visit unless they had to. The downtown area was dirty and run down with a few old stores to go to, but little else. Starting in the early 80's this city started to see a revitalization and very slowly but surely, it became a city that I'm pretty darn proud to live in. But, local politicians are always forcing us to take teeny tiny baby steps to get there. In the long run, they aren't helping our city at all! There's supposed to be a VIDEOGAME COMPLEX, fer crissakes!!!!

Anyway, the good news is that tomorrow night Bruce Campbell will be in town for his book signing and movie screening. So that's something to look forward to, and I'll be sure to let you all know how it went.

Zangz.

Belated Lament...

As I drove down Maryland Avenue last night the sight of an empty store front tugged at my heart. The big, blue, unlit sign above the awning read, "NAPOLEON'S" and the front windows were dark and void of any chess pieces, suits of armor or core rule books for some of the more popular role playing games (RPG) on the market today.

Just six months ago this store was filled with book cases of all the latest guide books, monster manuals and game master modules one could ever dream of for their fantasy gaming needs. Upon the walls hung hundreds of gaming miniatures just waiting to be plucked up, taken home and painted by players of all manner of fantasy, sci-fi and horror related contests. On the weekends you could hear laughs, cheers and debates coming from the gaming rooms in the basement where many a challenger took on either an RPG, strategic battle game or miniature's battle field.

If you were into any kind of fantasy gaming, you had to visit Napoleon's at least once or twice in your life. It was a place were if they didn't have what you were looking for, they'd go out of their way to get it. From D&D to Spytech to Call of Cthulhu, they had nearly every RPG game you could possibly imagine. They also had something for those who were into military history as their back room was filled with many books on the outfits and equipment form all sorts of soldiers from different countries and different eras.

It is also said that the late, great basketball coach, Al McGuire would stop by the shop to pick up a historical miniature or two.

Sadly, this past winter it was announced that after many years of gamers perusing the isles, Napoleon's would be shutting it's doors for good. The riggers of competing with online and big business gaming companies along with health issues forced the store's owner to call it a day and put to bed all the dragons, halflings, vampires, aliens and knights in shining armor for good.

Early March of this year saw the end of an era as the last geek walked out of there with the last 20 sider in stock leaving the once popular gaming store empty.

After driving by the empty store a lot this summer, I was a bit disappointed in myself that I didn't go in there more often. I feel that I may have missed out on some form of great geeked out event that may have occurred without me. Perhaps I would have run into a cute, single, female gamer to spend more time with. Who knows? One thing is for sure, be sure to patron your favorite, smaller comic, collectible and gaming shops more often. Who knows when corporate America will come in, tear it down and build another frellin' Starbucks?


This week is the Bruce Campbell screening and signing!!! I'll also be doing some serious Star Wars RPGing this weekend! So we'll talk more latter. Seeze ya!

P.S. I got new shoes today. Cool, huh?

Zangz.

Islands in the Stream, that is what we are.....

(sorry folks, that's the best title I can come up with for this blog. You were expecting more after my Scotty Doohan blog's title?)


Hey! I forgot to give a review of the sneak preview I got a chance to see Wednesday night of the Sci-Fi thriller, "The Island". I guess I was to annoyed with Hillary Clinton's foray into being a fascist.

In any case, I really enjoyed this movie. I thought it was going to be a typical, Hollywood, hyped-upped crudfest. But, it turned out to be quite entertaining! The main premise is that Ewan McGrggor and Scarlett Johannson's characters are clones that are unknowingly living in a fabricated distopyia while at the same time being harvested for possible body replacements for the real world's socially elite. Ewan's character discovers this through someone he has access to from the outside and that's when the madness ensues. Ewan and Scarlett's characters find themselves on the run from the greedy, mad doctor behind it all and the special ops forces he's hired to catch them once they've reached the real world.

This film is not only intriguing, but it's also full of the Jerry Brucheimer produced action/adventure that he spews out of his productions. Plus, it's full of character actors that I really enjoy watching, Ethan Phillips (who I breifly met at Gen Con in its last year in Milwaukee), Dijmon Honsou, Steve Buscemi (a Bruckheimer staple) and Sean Bean (who I loved in both "GoldenEye" and The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy). The set deigns are pretty cool for a distopia type setting. Sure there are the predictable moments, but this is a purely a popcorn movie. And as such it succeeds quite well.

The only qualm I have with the movie is that both Ewan's Character and Scarlett's character each have individual quests, only Ewan's charcter's quest is examined and fulfilled in the film. Scarlett's character get's the typical, "screw the female lead's storyline" treatment. Her deal is not at all resolved by the end of the movie. Too bad 'cuase she's quite visually pleasing in this. Even if she is to young to get into a bar to get liquered up. (Oh crap! I've just gone way over the creepiosity meter with that last quip.)

If you're not a theater going type, you'll definitely want to pick this up when it comes out on rental. Maybe not something I'd own on DVD, but certainly something I'd see again sometime.

Ok, that's it for today. I'm gunna go watch the Festa Italianna fireworks now. Anybody got a cigar? I'm out.

Zangz.

The Cesorship Train Still Thunders Forward....

Time to rant! Tonight I stopped in to the local Toys 'R' Us to check out if the next wave of Star Wars figs came out (they did and Mr. Lucas has $12 more of my money. My microwave has two more villains to occupy the top of it.). I decided to make a side trip from the action figure isle to the videogame area. I saw a bunch of games lined up and numbered #1 through #20. They were the top selling games of the last week. I noticed that they were completely out of game #3. I checked out the price card in that slot to see what it was. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

"Wow", I thought to myself, "That game is doing so well that it's still selling out." I then thought nothing more of it and left for home.

Once I got home I relaxed in front of my TV and turned on some news channel. They were talking about Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I turned up the volume and heard the very disturbing news. The anchor said that Senator Hillary Clinton, who may be our friggin' president one day, had succeeded in having the adult themed game taken off many store shelves. Now folks, by it's very definition censorship is when the government prohibits, or prevents, the public from viewing or reading what those in power deem objectionable. This should scare you!

Then I turned the channel in pure and utter disgust. I ended up on another news channel and they were reporting that a group of Republicans were trying to have an anti war art display taken out of a gallery. More that should scare you!

Before I end up sounding like a total blithering mad man (too late), here's the moral to this particular blog..... Censorship is censorship! It shouldn't matter if its from the Left Wing or the Right Wing. It shouldn't be tolerated at all!!! Once people like the Hillary Clintons, Tipper Gores and Jerry Farwells start making decisions for you and YOUR family, it's time to start watching your American rights go the way of the dodo bird.

That's that with that. On with your normal programming.

Zangz

Beam him up. He's dead, Jim.

And you'd expect more from a blog title at my Blog of Geekdom? But, in all seriousness...

I have much sympathy for many of my Trekkie friends out there today. The Sci-Fi world has lost a great comrade. James "Scotty" Doohan, head engineer of the starship Enterprise, from the original Star Trek television series passed away this morning at the age of 85 after a bout with pneumonia. He also suffered from complications due to diabetes and alzheimers disease.

I had the pleasure to see Mr. Doohan about 12 years ago at the same Gen Con that Mark (Luke Skywalker) Hamill attended. I remember that he was a bit late for his scheduled Q&A appearance in this huge ballroom, when suddenly we all hear these bagpipes off in the distance. They grew louder and louder. And suddenly through the main doors walked Mr. Doohan flanked by two bagpipe players in full Scottish garb. Very cool entrance. He seemed like a very sweet and wonderful man. The Con / Sci-Fi / fantasy fans shall all miss him very much.

In other news, that bastage Carson got booted off "Average Joe" last night! Justice is served! (This is the point where you readers will roll your eyes and think to yourselves "Jeeezuz Jeehosaphat Brown!! Is Zangz ever going to get off this soapbox? Is he ever going to realize that this is all scripted?). I don't care. Here in my blog, it's a moot point. I just want to take this time and do a mocking happy dance that Carson the bastage is off the show. Hehehehehehe.......... bastage!

Hey, I heard a MAJOR spoiler that takes place from the new Harry Potter book. Wanna hear it? You do? Well, here it is (highlight to read if you want to go down that path).....

Word on the street is that Dumbldore gets wacked by Snape! Dumbledore is dead as a doornail. Kicks the bucket. Is bleedin' demised. Has gone the way of Scotty. Has ate his last crumpet. Has bought the magical farm. Is no more. Dumbledore, dead at age..... whateverthehellagehewas. Scotty and Dumbledore within the same week. In the infamous words of one of my favorite bands, Type O Negative, "Everybody Dies"

Well, I'm off for a free viewing of the Scarlet Johanson, Ewan McGreggor sci-fi thriller "The Island". So I'll see ya when I see ya.

Zangz.

A Whole Buncha Junk....

Guess who spent more than he should have at the ol' comic book shop down the street. I tried to be a good boy, but I found a few compiled trade paperbacks I wanted to catch up on. I got two more "John Constintine: Hellblazer" books and one "Astro City " colection. Constintine I've explained before, but Astro City is a comic about what life would be like if groups of superheros really did exist. The city in itself is just as much of a character as the superheros themselves. It's written incredibley well by Kurt Busiek and I would suggest you pick up the trade paperbacks, "Life in the Big City", "Confession" and "Family Album". Haven't read "Family Album" yet. But, I would swear by the others. It's kind of in the same vain as Alan Moore's, "Watchman", but nowhere near as critically aclaimed and not as epic and dense. Still, a very good read!

The Constantine books aren't quite as good as when Garth Ennis wrote them, but I gotta admit, they're still pretty darn entertaining. As long as they don't have him meeting up with the original Robin Hood and dancing around with faries (as they tried to after Enis left the book) they should be ok.

What else? Ah. I probably should start writing out the next "Call of Cthulhu" RPG that I run and set a date for it. Quickly, "Call of Cthulhu" is a role playing game that takes place in the 1920's and is strongly based on the horror wrttings of H.P. Lovecraft. Not only do players lose health (hit points), but they also lose their sanity (sanity points) which can lead to some real fun. Lovecraft wrote a lot about ancient, forgotten gods that still have power over certain cult groups. Get involved with a lot of the ancient majic, you slowly start to lose your mind. The game is to be played with the context that your character is either going to die or go insane. So in most games players should not get to attached to their characters. However, I'm too nice of a game master (GM) to give the players too much geif. So, I let them slide by quite a bit. Most who've stayed in my game, still have the same character they started out with 2 years ago. Maybe a little less mentally stable, but no worse for the ware.

Anything else? Well, I should also start my next article for that free press paper. The next column will be a starters guide to Role Playing Games. Of course, it will be all in jest.

In a quick note, I did get to see the local air show since my appartment is located in a prime spot! I got to see the Blue Angels fly over the building more than a few time. Very frellin' loud and very cool. I also got to see the Red Baron team to some formations also.

That's it for now. Stayed tuned for more mindless geekosity being bazooka vomited in your direction at a rapid, high velocity rate, right here!

Zangz.

Harry Potter and the Evil Carpetbagging Queen...

I know it's a quickie blog for today, but I couldn't really call this a Blog of Geekdom unless I mentioned the release of the latest Harry Potter novel. "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" floated onto the bookstore shelves at midnight last night, creating a frenzy of both children and adult readers. I know of one person who went down to the local library to get their reserve copy last night. Apparently, the library went all out for this event. They had people dressed as wizards, live owls on display, magicians. The works. This is an extremely exciting time to the hadcore Hogwarts-heads.

I've never really gotten into Harry Potter as much as many of my geek brethren have. I saw the first movie and thought it was cute and fun. Then a year later I read the first book and thought it was cute and fun. Saw the second and third movies and thought they were both cute and fun. That's about it. I feel that if I were a lot younger I'd be totally into them 100%. But, my childhood hero's were Scooby-Doo, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and the rock group KISS. That was quite a while back.

But, what I can relate to is a lot of the frustration Harry Potter fans are plagued with from the puritanical, religious zelots' attacks on the books. Even our new Gestapo pope has made the ridicules claim that the books pull kids away from Christian values. Does he mean like, homophobia, or bilking thousands of people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with televangalists, or some poor alter boy having a private session with Father McBadtouch?

In other zelot's complaining news, the good "liberal" Democratic senator, Hillary Clinton is beotching and whimpering about the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Apparently there's a cheat code on there that allows you to download a scene in which the lead character, shall we say, "gets lucky ". Of course, leave it to the bastion of moral fiber, Hillary "I'm not at all from New York state, but I used my husband's power to get my fat behind a seat in the senate" Clinton to wax poetic on what is morally wrong with society and try and censor video games. If you want to really worry about the moral fiber of this country, look no further than watching these frellin' reality shows (that admittedly, I'm addicted to) where they glorify stabbing each other in the back, treating each other like dirt, walking all over others to achieve their own goals and that money and looks are all that matter. This country has made the likes of socialite-skeeze, Paris Hilton a huge celebrity, and Hillary "I could have helped the feminist movment move forward by leaving my cheating husband, but settled on using his power fuel my career into the senate instead" Clinton is worried about an ADULT video game getting into the hands of kids? It's an ADULT video game for ADULTS. The only reason kids play it is because parents aren't paying attention to what their kids are doing. This is usually when the government comes in and plays the role of fascists. Hillary Clinton is nothing more than a carpetbagger ( That's carpet-BAGGER, CARPETBAGGER! I'm being a good boy.)

Well, I gotta go walk a dog and feed some cats.
Zangz.

No Love from the Outhouse (Trainwrecks and being published...Pt. 2)

Ya know, there are some people out there that just strive to be downright elitist bastages. I don't know why certain people have a fondness for being nasty about things. Now, I know that not everybody is going to like whatever material you try to creatively put out there, but today the publisher of the free press paper I do a column for got a nasty call from a snotty, humorless, souless wench who is part of the management of a certain local, Riverwest health food store (We'll call it "The Outhouse" to protect no one) shreiking about the fact that the distribution company our paper uses plunked a bunch of our papers down in her store among all the other free press papers without her approval. Though he appologized profusley for the mix up, she continued to be a heartless shew about things.

She went on to babble about how she thought our humor was not of her liking (Hey, it's not of a lot of peoples' liking. So, she's not that special!) And to add insult to injury she tossed out about 1500 copies into the dumpster. Sure, it was her right to do so and our distribution people frelled up by not getting the dig-bat's approval. But does she hafta be such a hemroid of a human being about it. She could have simply called the distribution company and told them not to place it there anymore. But, instead she wrecked havoc on my poor editor, just to be a polyp in the anus of humanity.

I just don't get some people. There's a lot of media out there I'm not fond of. But I have yet to go out of my way to make their life a bit more miserable about it. I guess the moral to the story is, if you eat food from "The Outhouse" prepare to poop yourself silly.

In nicer news, I got my online ticket to see Bruce Campbell's Milwaukee screening of "The Man With Two Brains". He'll be there and there'll be a question and answer period and he'll be singing his book, "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way". So it should be a night of geekiness add nauseum! I hope I don't poop myself silly.

Well, I gotta get sumthin' into my belly before I head back out to Bastille Days tonight. May have a beer or two. Perhaps a cigar again. I went last night to see my friend Ellen sing. She did a cover of a Ray Charles' tune and got a standing ovation. I tried to see if I could weasle out some of the phone numbers of the other Chick singers, apppearing there, out of her, but it was a no-go. Most of them already had boyfriends, fiances, husbands or restraining orders out on me.

Well, I'm gone. Take care.
Zangz

Viva la femmes!!!

Before I do anything else I gotta do a tad of gripping for a sec. What brainiac thought it would be a good idea to plunk a pro bicycle race in the middle of a main street here in town? I'm over at my mom's to feed her cats (Yep. Got hornswaggled into doing that again this weekend) and I find half the roads closed and about 5 to 6 different traffic jams on the small neighborhood streets due to this silly idea to clog up the entire neighborhood so a bunch of yuppie, Lance Armstrong wannabes can frell up the streets during rush hour. Grrrrr.....

"What is Zangz reading?", you may ask (ADD? Why do you ask?). I'm reading two books right now. I'm still getting through Neil Gaimen's, "American Gods" which is a fictional epic look at what happens to ancient gods from other lands when we reach modern times. A good read, but it'll take me most of the summer to complete. I'm over the halfway mark now. I'm also reading the newest James Bond novel, "Silverfin" by Brittish comeidic actor / writer Charlie Higgson. Since the whole James Bond dynasty is trying to be aimed more at the kiddies rather than us adults now, they decided to give a young James Bond the Harry Potter treatment and have dumbed him down considerably. Once I'm done with each of the books, I'll give my thoughts. Don't hold your breath. It'll take a bit.

On to something else now. Since I'm so obsessed over the crapfest reality show "Average Joe", I was thingking about bullies I've encountered in my early years, and came accross this website...

www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

Keep in mind that I'm very glad that someone in our Government is finally doing something about these dren-heads, but after perusing the site I felt that it was (to quote Miss Benatar) "a little to little, a little to late". It reads like a kiddie book and is slightly unrealistic in it's beleifs. Having had many, many incedents with bullies in my lifetime (and I mean the kid who shoved my face into the blacktop to the jealous boyfriend who slammed my head into his car door to the drunken idoit who pushed me in the baroom) I know frellin' well that these bullies only understand one thing and that's a red hot screwdriver being driven into their cornia.

Ok, Maybe that was a bit psychotic. But, a lot of these bullies speak and understand one language... violence. Think about this for a second, the entire country didn't give two rips about the problem of bullies until the horrorific events unfolded at Columbine High School. Thousands of years of humans have come and gone and it took two nutters to be bullied enough to be driven to do something unspeakable before anyone said to themselves, "...well, after the fact that little Nathan keeps getting black eyes from Spike and his in-crowd buddies, pehaps we should do somehting." is kinda weak.

In the end, I think there should be more leagaly at risk for those doing the bullying than a vebal warning from some weak principal. Though, I appreciate that people are finally recognizing that there's a real problem, I'm wondering if it's enough.

In other news, tonight I'm going to Bastille Days to see my friend Ellen sing. She's singing at a stage that's sponsering an event called "Chick Singer Night". Since she's a local singer, she gets to sign along with other local female musicians in a showcase of female local talent. This is a very cool idea for the local femme music scene for spreading publicity!!! Bastille Days is basicly a French themed street festival held in the East Town district of the city. The fest is usually highlighted by great pastrie, a "storming of the bastille" run, a few stages of entertainment, a smaller replica of the Eiffle Tower, fireworks and people waving white flags like there was no tomorrow. Ok, that last bit was quite jingoistic and uncalled for. I'll openly appologize at the frog leg eating contest latter on.

I gotta eat. Later...
Zangz.

Death to Carson, Long Live Dante! God, I need a life.

Just sent off my most recent article for the fledgling free press rag I write for. I've been having trouble getting in touch with the editor latley. Hopefully he'll like it.

I had to take a second or two and soapbox about last night's episode of reality show crapfest, "Average Joe: Joe Strikes Back". Now, before you all roll your eyes and say to yourselves, "Jesus, this guy is unhealthily obsessed with this show!" I want to let you know that realize that I've rambled on about this show and it's negative mesage to the public about people who are not considered adequate human beings in the eyes of beautiful women one too many times. Well, I'm gunna ramble on some more....

In a nutshell, the show has one visually stunning woman choose from a group of "Average Joes" (aka: lovable, decent Geeks like me) and a group of manufactured, hunky pretty boys who all have the personalities of a sock. Most of the show has the hunks bullying the Joe's throughout the season trying to pull off this "Revenge of the Nerds" type of vibe. But instead of a happy ending, the last two seasons the "beauty" picked one of the mindless hunks over the respectable Average Joes.

Granted, the show is quas-scripted and a lot of things are probably staged. But last night's show got me a tad broiled up. When the "hunks" arrived at the mansion the Joe's are staying at, the "hunks" took over the rooms that the Joes had already occupied, they started to throw the Joes' belongings and luggage out the windows and doors. When the Joes arrived and confronted the hunks on the luggage incedent, the hunks started to bully them. But, one Joe, named Dante, pulled a good one on an especially retarded, cretinous hunk named Carson. Dante got up into Carson's face like he was going to start yelling. Then he planted a good smooch right on his mouth. The obviously homophobic, Carson completley freaked out! Instead of just laughing it off and walking away from the situation, Carson yelled and screamed and threw a tempertantrum while spewing out threats of physical violence against Dante. Frellin' brilliant reality TV! Watching the pretty boy weep because he had a fast one pulled on him on national TV was quite amusing. Unfortunatley, Dante was one of the guys tossed off the show by Anna, the beauty of the show. The sad thing about it all is the fact that Anna will probably pick that Carson d**scheb*g in the end. Happens every season. The shallow ends up with the shallow. That's the way life is.

But in other reality news, the Jedi rise to power once again, when the son of Darth Vader leads the Rebellion in the defeat of the Sith and helps Vader bring ballance to The Force.

(It is at this time when friends and family of Zangz are more than welcome to cry in one anothers arms in a scence of great dispair for him.)

Zangz

Smokin' the Big Stanks!

Drats. My vacation is over and I'm back to the grind (and not the good kind). One good thing is that I ended my vacation Sunday night with a great family cookout that included some good beers, a cigar or three and a real beautiful evening outside. It was the perfect capper to a real nice vacation.

Speaking of cigars, I just got on a mailing list for a catalog that has some real sweet deals. Hopefully they'll have me taken care of through the rest of the summer if I end up ordering from them. I'm also hoping that we'll have some nice weather on into October so that I may enjoy them well into the rest of the year. I used to have about three to five every summer. This year it became a habit of leisure and I'm well over the 20 stoggie mark. Hey, if some of my friends can smoke away on cancer sticks, let me have a good puff or seven on a nice, big, fat juicy stink log (the good kind!!!!!). They're good to celebrate with!

Speaking of celebrating, Zangz's Blog of Geekdom now has 4 constant readers! They are Carlo, Aaron, MaMa Schu, and Goof. So this site isn't being ignored by everybody on the planet, there are four people who seem to get a sadistic joy out of the mindless crap that I poop into the void that is the world wide web! So that's kinda cool!

Just bought the "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" on DVD and found that I enjoyed it even better than the time I saw it in the theater. Can't wait to get into all the extras on the thing. I'm especailly looking forward to what Johnny Depp has to say. That motha trucker can act his butt off! I remember not being able to stand him back when he was a teenage heart throb. He was everywhere in every newspaper and magazine. You couldn't escape him, all because he was good looking. Then came along the movie "Edward Scisorhands" and my perspective of him changed 180 degrees. Now I can't wait to see what he's going to pop up as on the silver screen next. And I really can't wait for the sequel, ".... Dead Man's Chest" with Bill Nighy as Davey Jones.

Been trying to puke out this article on some concerts at Summerfest for the free press paper I contribute to, but I keep getting distracted and wind up dorkin' around, like writing this blog. Looks like it'll have to be an all nighter tomorrow night.

Well, "Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back" is on and I gotta go and root for The Joe's to win over the metrosexual neanderthals. Talk to the four of you latter.

Zangz.

Gotta Love Dem Zombies....

Tonight I went to go see the newest George Romero Zombie flick, "Land of the Dead". His fourth story in a series of zombie movies. Though I did like it, I felt it was missing something. I felt that "Shawn of the Dead" and the remakes of "Dawn of the Dead" and "Day of the Dead" were more entertaining living dead flicks. Not better, but more entertaining.

There was a lot of cool zombie imagery plopped into "Land..", but the story went a bit south when they tried to make you feel sympathetic to the zombies. In this one the zombies start to communicate with each other as well as teach themselves to use weapons in a post apocolyptic world were humans have gated themselves into the city. I won't give too much away, but I will tell you that it ends on a whimper rather than a scream. It was almost a bit too touchy feely for a zombie movie. Don't get me wrong. There's plenty of heads blown off, flesh being eaten and blood being splattered everywhere. But it ends with a, "Let's not resolve this to the bitter end, but let's just go off into the sunset.." Asia Artento was fun to watch, though. So were the scenes where the dead attack the rich yuppies. There were also cameos from the guy who starred in "Sean of the Dead" and famed monster makeup artist Tom Savini as zombies. So the film did have some good stuff in it. I'm also glad that zombie movies are starting to make a bit of a comeback within the last few years. Hopefully more will be made.

Speaking of horror movies, I'm looking forward to Rob Zombie's next chapter in his serial killing family series, "The Devil's Rejects". Yea, I know the last one, "House of 1000 Corpses", might be considered a bit of a rip off of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". But, I like to think of it as his homage to the film. There's also going to be a remake of "The Fog", which is one of my favorite horror flicks that I hope to god they don't frell up. I think Hollywood is getting a little out of hand with all the remakes. Perhaps they really have run out of original ideas.

After we got out of the movie we went out to eat, then I headed home and went out to the back parking lot, where I have a decent view of the lake, and smoked a cigar and listened to the music coming from Summerfest. Beleive it or not, I could actually hear David Coverdale and Whitesnake from the Classic Rock stage and make out the songs! I guess the wind was aimed right in my direction. Then I went back inside and started playing "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" on the PS2. That game is soo frellin' addictive and immearsive that it is the reason that I'm typing this out a 1am in the morning.

In more good news, I finally found out how to get things rolling with the missing toolbar on my blog. It seems that I had more than a few pop-up blockers activated. So I deactivated a few and Wallah... there's the toolbar. Now I'll be able to link text (as above) and put nice pictures on here (as above). Thanks to Aaron for the suggestions.

I better stop now before I link the hell outta everything on this blog.
Zangz.

SKID ROW STILL FRIGGIN' ROCK!!!

Here's a quicky for you.

I just got back from Summerfest and got to see one of my old favorites Skid Row at the rock stage and I gotta tell you, these guys still have it! The whole show was loud, agressive and energetic. My ears are still ringing.

About a half hour before they hit the stage the rock stage area was realitivly empty. I was worried that people may have thought that the band were all washed up without original lead vocalist Sabastian Bach. But about 15 minutes before showtime, boatloads of people crammed the place and all were totally into the show. The new lead vocalist, Johnny... umm... something (don't know his last name) pretty much handled the Sabastian songs quite well and handled the lead vocalist duties with just as much energy as Bas ever did.

So don't write Rock 'N' Roll off just yet. There's still hope of wipping away the lame crud that the whole artsy fartsy grunge and alternative bands left on music.

In anycase, I'm working on getting that toolbar to work so I can do some decent things on my blog here. Got a guy working on it, so hopefully I can add pictures and links in my blogs in no time.

We are the youth gone deaf! \m/
Zangz.

And the Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth! Wishful thinking or prophacy?

Well, last night I rocked out to Styx at Summerfest. They still got it, even if there are only two original members. If I wanted to get real technical there's only one original member form its first inception. But they were still a good show and still retained the energy of when they were at the crest of their popularity back in their arena rock days. Tommy Shaw does not age! Who's blood does that little guy bathe in anyway?

So latley there's been murmers in the press that geek culture is at its peak and that we geeks are slowly becoming part of the norm, as viewed here in this Florida newspaper aticle... http://www.floridatoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050705/LIFE/507050303/1005.(Sorry, but I'm working on my cruddy home computer, not one that doesn't seem to have the problems with certain webscripts. Otherwise I'd link it for you. Copy and paste it in your browser for now.)

Don't know if I completley buy this concept yet. It's mentioned in the article on how there are a couple reality shows with geeks being hooked up with beautiful women (as I've pointed out on earlier blogs). The day I see visually stuning women picking geeks over yuppies and jocks, I may belive it. But, right now I feel it's more of a trend than anything else. You see a populace of the counter culture trying to buy into the geek vibe alla bands Weezer and American Hi Fi. Yet, I don't feel any more accepted by society than I did when I was getting the crap pounded out of me in grade school for being more into what type of droid C3-PO was ( he's a protocal droid) than memorizing the starting line up to the '78 Pittsburg Pirates. We'll see where all of this leads.

I also just learned that Ep.III will be out in the stores on DVD NOVEMBER 8TH!!!! Just in time for Xmas. So make sure you all mark your calendars for that day and pick up a copy. Now to find out when "Batman: Begins" and "Sin City" come out. Then my years DVD purchases will be complete!

Mom's back from Greece and I'm completely finished animal sitting now. I hope she brought back something good for me since I was the one who did most of the caring while my sister visited them once!

Well, I'm still on vacation, so it's off for some lunch and then an afternoon of video gaming. Talks to ya later!

Zangz.

Happy 4th!!!

Well, it's been an interesting vacation so far. I got to see Daimond David Lee Roth at Summerfest and he put on a fun little set. Ever the showman, he was all smiles and schtick as he and his 4 peioce backup band played though mostly classic Van Halen tunes.

Went out for a cookout last night and saw a whole bunch of fireworks being shot off by area locals. However, one group set their tree on fire, which of course led to a visit by the local fire marshal which put the ol' keebosh on thier fireworks show. But a few others raged on. Very cool!

Had a few bumps on this vacation so far. I wasn't feeling to well on Saturday and ended up sleeping through my scheduled hair appointment. Then this morning my sister went to the emrgency room with a pain on her leg. Turned out to be a insuficient clotting of the vein. She's ok, she just needs to take some meds and put a hot pack on it. Whew.

Then on top of all of that, as I'm checking in on my mom's cats as she's in Greece, one of them decides that it is vomit time and has left me with a few messes to clean up one or tow days this past week.

Well, I'mm off to a 4th of july party with my sister's in-laws. So I'll talk to you soon and let you know how Styx was. I'm seeing them tomorrow night.

Zangz.

Starting my vacation with red hot death!

Met with my editor friend last night in the back of a quiant little Irish Pub not far from my apartment. They have a nice beer garden in the back and we utilized it to the fullest with a couple of Guiness' and some stoggies. We talked about some ideas for upcoming articles in the free press paper he's put together. There were some good ideas, but I'm still a tad worried that the paper is going into a very similar direction that The Onion already has. I keep stressing that we can be funny in our own way with real stories that have a funny spin on them rather than farce articles. But, he's flippin the bills and this is his dream, so into the abyss we go again.

After he feigned not feeling well so he could leave early without me calling him a wouse, I took my stoggie back to my appartment, grabbged a beer, went out to the back parking lot that has a realitivley decent view of the lakefront, pulled out my folding chair out of my trunk and sat and enjoyed the Summerfest's Big Bang fireworks show. It was a beautiful evening with a couple beers, a couple stoggies and some fireworks. Great night.

Starting today I'm on vacation through the 11th of July and I'll be taking a few trips to Summerfest which is a hop, skip, jump and drunken tumble from my apartment. There are four acts I want to see that I think I've mentioned before. David Lee Roth, Styx, Skid Row and Beatallica. Call me an old timer, but I liked Rock'N'Roll when it actually rocked and there weren't 50 crappy bands that were competing to be the next Nirvana, Pearl Jam or Green Day. While I'm there I'll hopefully meet up with an old tech school buddy of mine who we used to call, Iran. It'll be good to see him as he's always got a good laugh and sense of humor about things.

I'll also be partaking in a 3rd of July cookout where hopefully the laughter will flow as freely as the beer while many airborne projectiles, both flamitory and alternativly powered, will fill the skies like red hot death. Speaking of beer and red hot death, I thik I'm gunna log off of here and start my vacation properly and grab a frosty one or two and then light myself on fire.

Take care,
Zangz.