Halloween Has Arrived....

"While most foolish others treated it like any other Monday, Erasmus Burke stayed at home this Halloween. The day prior he spent boarding up the doors and windows of his little house as best he could, locking himself inside, making sure there was no way anybody or anything could make their way inside either by accident or by force.

The outside world viewed Erasmus as an odd little man. A loner who lived on the corner of one of the oldest graveyards of the city. It was his job to maintain the grounds and prepare the graves for incoming.....residents.

In recent months, during his daily duties in the graveyard, odd things started to transpire. At first it started as a slight whisper coming from nowhere in particular. Erasmus would dismiss it as the wind through the trees or the rustling of leaves on the ground. But, as time went on, the disembodied voice grew to several voices. They also became more clearer. Their message was one of their return from the grave to seek vengeance on the living this coming Halloween.

Erasmus took these warnings to heart. Prior to sealing off his doors and windows he lit the Jack-O-Lanterns on his front porch. These were the only way a house could be marked as safe from the ghouls that would soon be floating about the living world. At least, that's what the dead had told Erasmus. He'd seen a thing or two during his long tenure at the graveyard that proved the fact that you should never turn your back on the dead. So he readied his home for the oncoming resurrection of the dead.

The final plank against the door was nailed shut an hour before midnight on October 30th. Erasmus then turned off all of the lights and

Erasmus dove under the covers with minutes to spare with his head underneath the safety of his blankets. Soon the clock on the wall chimed midnight. the witching hour had begun.

The wind that had lightly been blowing outside had suddenly stopped. An uneasy silence had crept across the graveyard and moved throughout the city. It lasted a minute or two. Then the bedlam started to begin.

It started with what sounded like a moan from far off in the distance. Then a wail. Then another moan. Then a shriek. Then a blood curdling howl. Then the sounds of the unliving wailed, moaned and shrieked in unison. The wind picked up again far stronger than before the silence.

Erasmus squeezed against the edge of the blanket holding it firm so that nothing could tear it off of him.

That's when the scratching noises started. Against the walls of his house there came tearing and scraping sounds that chilled his bones.

This bedlam and ruckus went on all through the night. It didn't go away once the morning came. He feared it would never end. Hour after hour the same scraping noised and strong winds kept on. The only difference was the horrid sounds of the undeads' moans and cries and wails that would change in pitch with each different being making their own sounds of terror.

After what felt like an eternity the sounds of terror started to become less frequent. The scraping had stopped, the wind had died down and then Erasmus heard his last moan off in the distance. Then a peaceful silence overcame the town.

A minute later his clock struck midnight marking November 1st. In a clod sweat, Erasmus pulled himself from the bed and stated to tear down the planks he put up across his door and windows. By the time he was done, the sun started to rise. He ran outside to check on the state of the graveyard and his home.

The first thing that had amazed him was that there were no tear marks on his house. In fact his Jack-O-Lanterns were still lit. The second thing that took Erasmus by surprise was that the graveyard was in excellent shape. No stoned or graves showed any signs of being disturbed. In fact the grounds seemed to be in a little bit better condition than he remembered them being in a long while.

The third an final thing that Erasmus noticed was a bit more disturbing. As he looked down the street he noticed that there were a few houses that seemed to have been torn up a bit with broken windows and tear marks against the houses. But, there ware only a few houses that seemed disturbed along the street. There were also a fair amount of houses that weren't messed with at all. The one difference that Erasmus noticed in the houses ware the ones that didn't have any damage were ones that had Jack-O-Lanterns out.

Erasmus smiled to himself knowing that he would be safe every Halloween since he knew he had a special alliance with those that he looked over. And they in return would look over him and all of the others that celebrated Halloween.

So if you haven't yet, make sure you light up those smiling, orange faces this evening and every Halloween from now on. Because you never know what may be lurking about tonight trying to judge who celebrates their holiday......... and who does not."

I'm not sure where the frack I was going with that, or where it came from for that matter. That's the kind of mess I make when I decide to "free write". It's certainly not Stephen King, but the holiday got the best of my creative juices. It's my way of saying to all of you.........

First Haunt of the Season Explored!

"I awoke this morning in a cold sweat, still clinging to my bed quilt. I cautiously pulled myself from the bed and peeked through the window blinds hoping that my memories from the last night would be redeemed by the morning sunlight. Instead my eyes were met with bleak, dark gray skies.

I tensed up as a sense of caution streaked through me as it did continuously last night during the chilling events that I bore witness to.

It is said that every Halloween season is the time when the worlds of the dead are closest to touching the living and that paranormal encounters are far more frequent. For the last several years, me and my cohorts have explored a few of these places that are wrought with odd happenings.

Currently staying at a nice home in the countryside that we are using as a safe haven, I take the time to reflect on last nights occurrences.

Last night our curiosity of the macabre got the best of us. With a week load of a bright moon haunting the nights' skies, we should have seen this as an omen of things to come.

Not far from our sanctuary there is an old abandoned high school with a strong paranormal reputation. We decided to investigate it last night. God save our souls........"

And this dark little narrative is just the segue I need for my review of.........

The Haunted High School - Located just a short hop, skip, jump and run for your life from the main freeway is a huge abandoned high school in Oconomowoc, WI that is now wonderfully utilized as a yearly Haunted Attraction. Boasting itself as the largest haunt in Wisconsin and the only haunt with a creepy High School theme within the midwest, myself, Roberto Del Amorte and his lovely wife Iris Von Beaverhousen decided to see if this haunt was worth its bragging rights.

We got to the haunt a little later in the evening and were met with a full parking lot and gymnasium full of people waiting to get in. We decided on the Fast Pass option that got us a better place in line since we didn't want to hassle with the 90 minute wait. Though they had old horror movies playing on the walls of the gym, we wanted to jump right in and get our scare on!

Upon entering the haunt itself we were ushered down a flight of stairs that led to the workout rooms. This first area set the stage for the high school nightmares that were to come. Part work out gym and part torture chamber we saw more than a few poor souls tied and strapped to the workout equipment. The one problem that I found in this area that didn't seem to effect the rest of the haunt was that it was way too darkly lit. You couldn't see the tableaus that were meticulously put together. Not sure if that was on purpose or if some electrical feed was not working. In any case, the rest of the haunt was lit good enough to be spooky dark, yet still visible enough to not be missed.

Through the rest of the haunt I noticed that the effects and scenery were utilizing the Old School method. Instead of investing in uber-expensive, detailed effects that can be purchased at haunt conventions or online for the price of your soul, organizers used what they had and home made effects to fill the scenery and effects. For example, before abandoning the high school, the school district left behind a bevy of desks and lockers that became part of the outline of the mazes. Who needs to create a school house effect when they had one built in already? Would have it been nice to see that "wow" factor of an effect that would blow our minds? Sure. Was it necessarily needed here? Nope.

Traversing through all aspects of high school that bring back bad memories were all present here. The rotting "food" of the cafeteria, the impossible math equations, detention hall, the horticultural classes and of course the finale of the school quad, where instead of being terrorized from the dumb jock bullies, here you had to watch out for the chain-saw wielding maniac.

I'm always leery when they use young scare-actors as the ghouls for a haunt. Past haunts we've witnessed them standing around in groups talking to each other rather than putting on the scare. This group did surprisingly well. Most of them were into full character having a great time making us wet our pants. We only came across the weaker ones in the cheap masks giving out a half hearted "Rawrrrr" only once or twice.

One of the big set pieces is the auditorium where a chorus of animatronic skeletons sing along to "The Time Warp" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show as ghoulish dancers try and get patrons to dance along. This was pretty impressive, but I think I would have been more awestruck if they had been referencing the ORIGINAL Rocky Horror and not the one based off of the uberhyped and over praised Glee version. The huge banner that had the Glee logo over the stage didn't help. Give me a little Bostwick and Sarandon, rather than a Finn or Puck in my Rocky Horror. No, I'm not a huge fan of Glee if you could tell.

On the far better side of things, this haunt was pretty frackin' long! 35 minutes for an indoor haunt is pretty good. Most don't last more than 20 minutes, if that. Most people who pay what we paid for other haunts get through the place just as their getting into the mood. Every point I thought we were coming to the end, there was a huge new area to discover.

Was this the best haunt of all time?. Well, no. The organizers could learn a thing or two if they attended one of the big haunt conventions and invested in just a few professional scares. But, was this a darn good haunt? You bet!!! A few adjustments and this baby could go big time!

In the end, The Haunted High School is a darn hearty haunt that is a bit of a spooky adventure that is a darn good scare, but not quite up there with the pro haunts. Its main strengths are the length of the show and it's home grown charm while the dedication of its young scare-actors could easily rival other haunts that use teens. Overall, I was pretty impressed!

Hopefully there will be more spooky adventures to be had this season. My Good friend, Mr. Bones has shown an interest in attending a haunt with yours truly. Let's see if he's up to the challenge.

Zangz.

The Source of My Love for Halloween: Saturday Morning Programing!

A few weeks ago I found myself in a bit of a parking space jam. My apartment building is doing extensive work on the back parking lot where I park my car. So I've had to find an alternative parking method which has ended up being a night parking permit in an area that is a bit of a walk from my apartment.

In my neighborhood finding a parking spot is a luxury and I was able to find a little area that is right near a small park about one mile from my home. This has worked nicely for two reasons. One, it's in a small patch of higher class suburban neighborhood. Two, it has gotten me back to taking nice leisurely walks in the early mornings and evenings.

Many times my walks take place during the dark hours early in the morning or late at night. Many people may feel a bit uncomfortable taking walks during the dark hours. But, for me, it is quite the pleasure.

I enjoy the ghostly shadows of the trees of the park that shimmy and float about during windy weather. There's also a big, dark, gothic home that sits at the end of a dead end street that never seems to have any lights on or any movement going on inside or out. Who or what lives there, I wonder?

There's even a little patch of wooded area that I have to pass along on my daily jaunts. I always wonder what may be looking at me from inside the dark folliage. Is there a little chipmunk in a state of caution ready to high tail it up a tree if I move toward it? Or maybe it's a rabid raccoon that is ready pounce on my face if I move in it's general direction. Or, best yet, what if it is a reanimated corpse, freshly risen from the grave that would ramble on out, grabbing my head and taking a big chomp out of the front of it?

With these dark ideas running through my odd little mind, one may wonder, "Where did this guy's love of the macabre come from? What was the source for his love of all things spooky?"

I've been trying to trace back my love of all things spookarific for a while now and I have to tell you that it goes way back to my love of Saturday morning cartoons as a child.

Oddly, I was never really impressed with the Buggs Bunny, Looney Tunes type shows. I was more into the action, adventure and mystery influenced cartoons.

During the late 60's and early 70's there were a bunch of cartoons that centered around a group of teens and some form of mascot that would hunt ghosts and monsters.

There were a few rules that these shows all followed.

1) The group was always led by a good looking boy and good looking girl. The rest of the group were misfit looking goof balls that were the comedic relief.

2) The group always had some form of mascot character who was usually the main character and namesake of the show. It would usually be some sort of dog or animal. If it were a dog, it had to be able to talk.

3) The group would always drive around in some sort of 70's hot rod type vehicle such as a dune buggy or love van.

The grandaddy and first of the bunch was......

Scooby-Doo, Where are You? - Four teens, Freddy, Wilma, Daphne and Shaggy along with Shaggy's pet Great Dane, Scooby-Doo, go out of their way to discover the most creepy locations to hunt and find ghosts, ghouls and monsters that usually end up being some crook with an elaborate plan to either hide stolen money, steal money, or scheme someone out of money.

My earliest childhood memories revolve around getting up early on Saturday mornings and watching Scooby Doo. For whatever reason, I loved the hell out of that frackin' show as a kid.

Watch the intro to Scooby-Doo HERE!

After the success of Scooby-Doo, children's Saturday mornings were filled with teens and their wacky mascots solving mysteries. Here are a few of them that pretty much carbon copied Scooby-Doo's characters, plots, outlines, motifs and themes. Let's see which ones you all remember?

The Funky Phantom - Three teens and their bull dog who drive around in a dune-buggy join forces with the ghosts of a colonial gentleman and his pet cat. The group spend much of the episodes chasing other ghosts (who of course end up as crooks in costume). I loved this show as well. Watch the intro to the show HERE!

Goober and the Ghost Chasers - Talk about ripping off Scooby-Doo! This show even stole a lot of the images from the intro. This time it's a group of teens who have a dog that turns invisible when it's frightened. Check out the intro HERE!

Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels - Same concept here, except the three female girls were obviously conceived from the popularity of TV's Charlie's Angels. Oddly, there's no talking dog mascot in this show. Instead the girls hang out with a prehistoric super hero. See the intro HERE!

Fangface - Here we have yet another group of teens who's "mascot" is one of their own. One of the kids in the group is a werewolf . So whenever trouble ensues, one of the kids shows him a picture of a full moon (if there isn't one in the sky already) and he turns into wolf form and saves the day. See intro HERE!

Clue Club - Another bunch of teens. Another dune buggy. This one was a little less spooky and focused more on a group of teens and their two talking dogs that went after less over the top and creepy villains. I do remember one or two episodes where the gang did go after spooks, but it wasn't the norm for this cartoon. See intro HERE!

If you thought my love of the macabre was spawned from only the cartoons on Saturday mornings, you'd be wrong. Children's programing did have its share of live action shows and this next one was one of my all time favorites!

The Ghost Busters - About eight years prior to Bill Murry and Dan Akroyd putting proton packs on their backs, it was two former actors from the TV show "F Troop" and their trained gorilla hunting down ghosts and ghouls with a "Ghost Dematerializer". Every episode was pretty much the exact same story. Ghost Busters go on a mission to hunt a ghost. Ghost Busters go to the same haunted castle from the previous episode. Hi-jinx ensue. They catch the ghost with their big spotlight looking machine. End of story. Take a look at the intro HERE!

Monster Squad - The Ghost Busters wasn't the only live action spookfest that would take place on Saturday mornings. There was also this little gem. On Monster Squad there was a bit of a twist. Instead of a group of teens hunting monsters, it was one teen, named Walt, who controlled the famous monsters The Wolfman, Dracula and Frankenstein's monster. Walt would send them out on missions to take down criminals and other baddies. By day, the monsters would pose as wax figures in a museum. By night, they'd fight crime. Senator Fred "DON'T CALL ME GOPHER!!" Grandy played the roll of Walt. Let's take a little look-see right HERE!

Kids programming changed wildly when the 80's came. Cartoons were half hour commercials for an action figure line. There were no more spooks, no more haunted houses to search and no more dark grey backgrounds to get you into the mood. The bad guys were the same every episode. The days of teen mystery sleuths and their wacky pets and cohorts were dead.

I miss those chilly, fall Saturday mornings where a new crop of cartoons would issue in even more teen mystery shows that gave me my first taste of the macabre.

Zangz.