More reviews on undead, spooky and Halloweenish stuff...

Hello there, fellow geeks, goobs and lovers of things dark and creepy. We're certainly full throttle into our time of year. Only one more week to go before the fun is over.

Today I enjoyed the day off from work and had a chance to take a drive into the suburbs. I have to tell you that even thought the weather was dark, murky and wet, the color of the changing trees were all that more brilliant! In an odd way the gray sky backdrop heightened the bright orange leaves the trees were trying not to loose. Very beautiful!

So over the last week or so I've immersed myself in Halloweenish indulgences. I have experienced a few Horror movies and a couple of Haunted Attractions. So let's dive right into the reviews.

Let's start with the movies

Dark Ride - Get a young, hot, name actress coming off of one of the greatest TV mobster serials of all time, then add a creepy setting such as an abandoned Haunted House ride on Cooney Island, try and spice it all up with a group of college kids trapped in the Haunt with a homicidal maniac, then attempt to put a little mystery into the mix and you'll get a so-so B-grade horror flick. Jamie-Lynn Sigler heads the cast as a fed up girlfriend who's dragged along on a road trip with her boyfriend and a few other kids to spend the night in the abandoned dark ride. Once they arrive and break in the slaying then ensues. Far from the worst horror movie out there (The Wickeds), this film does little to give the Horror Genre a boost. Its' pretty common slasher fare up until the very lame mystery "reveal" at the end of the film. There is some good creepiness in the main killer with his mannequin face and slow, hunched over movements, but it's not much that we haven't seen before. (View Trailer HERE).

The Messengers 2: The Scarecrow - The first Messengers movie, staring a pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart was pretty friggn' creepy if not a bit predictable. If you're looking for something similar you'll be sorrowfully disappointed in this name only sequel. Yes, it involves a family trying to make a change in their lives by buying a creepy old farm like the first movie. That's where the relativity stops. Instead of a bunch of way-creepy restless spirits haunting the farm, it's a half-assed, looks like plastic, supposed to be creepy scarecrow that is cursed to whoever uses it. The father of the new family, who looks like he's about 25 years old rather than a fatherly figure, decides to use the "creepy" scarecrow to ward off the crows who are eating up his cornfield and putting him in debt. That's when people start to disappear and the scarecrow starts to take victims. This movie is pretty long winded and predictable. (See Trailer HERE!)

The Hills Have Eyes (2006 remake) - Like the original, this remake (yep, another) features the story of a family making a cross country trek through the vast desert of the west when they run into a psychotic group of inbred, nuclear mutated freaks. Once the trap is set the muties start picking off family members one by one in shocking way after diabolical way. I think that I would have enjoyed this film a lot more if A. It wasn't a remake (can't anyone in Hollywood come up with something original.) and B. there wasn't a rape scene. I know the original had the rape scene as well, but that was released in a time where rape scenes in horror films were more than just there for shock purposes. It was beyond taboo and was in the film for a real jarring reason. This scene is there strictly for the "look how evil these muties are, ohhh are they scary" type of vibe which is NOT COOL!!! I've said it before about certain horror flicks and I'll say it again. Rape should never be used as a trivialized scare tool! And sadly this remake does just that. Sad, since it had sooo much more potential. (See trailer HERE).

The Landlord - I came upon this film from attending ZombieConX a few weeks back. In the dealers room there was a booth dedicated to the film. As I walked past it, there was a young man with long hair and glasses standing in the isle who noticed my "Illuminati: Someone You Trust Is One Of Us" T-shirt. He commented on it wondering if I was a fan of the collectible card game. I told him I'd never played but thought the shirt was very clever with the whole hint of how the "mythical" organization is in control of everything. He found that amusing and then went full throttle into trying to sell the horror movie to me. I talked to him a bit and he told me he was a fledgling film maker from Chicago. I told him I'd check back with him later that weekend. Sure enough, the next day I plopped down my $10 for the DVD of his movie, The Landlord. If you're a Horror fan you'll appreciate this movie, if for nothing else, the creative force of very independent film makers who've probably funded their film on a bunch of newly accepted credit cards that were probably maxed out straight away before production even started. There's a good dose of dark humor in this flick about a building land lord who owns a building that has a gateway to hell and is under the control of two ancient demonic spirits that date back to Egyptian times. You'll have a love for this film if you're a fan of independent film makers who focus on the Horror genre and if you have a fond love of dark humor. If you're looking for a big budget Horror spectacular that doesn't use gory props that can be purchased at you local Halloween shop, then you may not be interested. But you gotta love the independent filmaking process that this movie exudes! Kudos to Emil Hyde for putting his financial balls on the line and living his dream of being a Horror film maker and stopping me in the middle of the ZombieConX isle to comment on my Illuminati T-shirt.

The Hills Have Eyes 2 - The sequel to the 2006 remake doesn't fare too much better than its predecessor. The exception may be that there isn't a full on rape scene, just a near rape scene (sigh). Instead of a family being terrorized by a group of muties, it's a squadron of army trainees who are investigating the disappearance of a survey team out in the hills and mine tunnels of the desert. So it tries hard to be reminiscent of Aliens with a lot of that machismo military banter that plagues sooooo many Sci-Fi, Action and Horror movies to date since Aliens was released. Outside of the cheesy banter, that's where the comparison with Aliens ends. It's also slightly more predictable as it's first movie. (View Trailer HERE!) Oh when, oh when, Dark Spooky Gods, will there be a Horror movie I have rented where I can get the creeps at the same time be entertained?

Quarantine - Ok. Ok, we're starting to get there. If not in big leaps in bounds, certainly in little steps. This flick has a lot going for it. It's creepy. It's a zombie flick (oh yes it is!). And it has some truly creepy scenes in it. It's shot in documentary form as it follows a news crew covering an evening in a firehouse and what firefighters have to go though in a "day in the life" piece. The TV crew tags along when the station gets a call about some sort of health issue with a woman living in a slightly run down apartment building. Well of course the lady has some sort of zombie like virus and before you can say "Bob's Your Undead Uncle" the whole building is forcefully under quarantine and shut closed with tenants, firefighters and the news crew trapped inside with a zombie plague slowly infecting them all. For the most part I really enjoyed this movie. There was one slight issue I did have with it, however. It was shot in a Bliar Witch type of "lost footage - found" vibe, supposedly from the news team covering it all. This would have been a real cool idea if the movie hadn't been so Hollywoodized. When you shoot a film in that kind of style, you're trying to convey the fact that "this could have really happened!" But, the facts that you have stars from Dexter, Boston Legal and the dude who was married to Christina Applegate staring in the film, kind of takes away from the whole reality feel they were going for. Also, the sets and lighting and effects have a very polished Hollywood feel to them as well, also negating the "true life feel" the film was trying to convey. Despite that flaw, it's still a pretty darned good Horror flick! Worth a good viewing. Especially if you're a zombie film fan who's looking for something a bit different. (View Trailer HERE!)

Drag Me To Hell - Hell yes!!! Now We're getting somewhere! Unlike the plethora of remakes and slasher films that are plaguing the Horror Movie genre as of late, this Sam Raimi flick takes on an original approach to the genre. If psychos and vampires and ghosts and satanic demons have been overly used in current horror movies, where is a brilliant script writer/director to go? How about a movie about a curse? That hasn't been done in quite a while! And Sam takes on the subject matter with great, ghoulish relish! A cute, young yuppie, bank official, who isn't usually opportunistic denies an elderly gypsy woman a 3rd mortgage on her home. Thus, the elderly woman will probably be kicked out of it. The gypsy woman begs on her knees to Allison Lohman's bank official character for just one shot. With the potential of a promotion at the bank, Lohman's character takes the yuppie, capitalist road and denies her the loan. The gypsie woman puts a curse on the young bank executive and that's when things start to go very bad for Lohman's character. If only stuff like that happened to real life bank officials before the whole downturn of the economy, maybe we wouldn't have the mass unemployment that we do now! Getting back on the subject. Allison Lohman's chacter is haunted by a demon throughout the rest of the film and Raimi pulls out every extravagant gross out, fun filled creepy scene he can think of to do it. Allison Lohmon should win an Oscar just for the mass amount of undead-gross out-bodily fluids that she seems to have to ingest in her mouth throughout the movie! There's also a few really creepy scenes that Raimi has seemingly been influenced and pulled from his classic Evil Dead films of past legend! Sadly there was one big gripe I did have with this movie. The big ending was given away 3/4th of the way through the movie. Even a less than astute viewer knew how the movie was going to end when a less than subliminal clue was given out when.... (Highlight to read if you haven't seen the film yet.)

A character trying to help the girl ward off the curse gives her a coin-like object in a white envelope, JUST LIKE the coin that her boyfriend gives her at the beginning of the movie. Can you guess what items will be mixed up and who will still be doomed at the end of the movie, no matter what?

That kind of put a big damper on what was looking to be a really great horror movie! Nobody does gross out, fun horror like Sam Raimi! And this has real potential, if it wasn't for the give away ending. Still worth a viewing if you're a big fan of of Raimi's Evil Dead films!!!! (View trailer HERE!)


Ok, we're now going to take an undead look-see at a couple of good ol' local Haunted Attractions.....

When my good friend and fellow fan of the macabre, Roberto Del Amorte, found some free time in his recently challenging life, he leaped at the chance to join me in an evening of adventuring into the realms of the dark unknown.

Terror on Rural Street - As usual this is our "go to" haunt. It's become a tradition of the Halloween season. Every year they change things up a bit while reinventing some old effects t be more economically conscience. There was certainly a lot of good effects and rooms and scare-actors to go around. The theme this year was a generic creepy old house and the wonderful facade that greets you once you get in line certainly reflected that image. Once inside we were presented with all of the usual Terror on Rural Street fun we have very year. Yet, nothing entirely different or that sticks in our minds.

Hartford JC's Haunted House. - It didn't start well. After buying our ticket we were sent to wait in a couple of small rooms in a barn with a whole slew of Slinger teenagers who were singing songs at the top of their lungs just to piss off and annoy the other patrons. We left he main room and went to a smaller room where they were showing Alien VS. Predator against one of the walls. We sat there for a while enjoying the movie when the cavalcade of singing tweeners decided to move into our room and ruin the movie for us and others there. I had to wonder if I was ever that retarded when I was that age. I don't recall so. It seems to get worse every year. Kids get more and more obnoxious. Luckily their numbers were called far before ours. Once we started to get some peace and quite, we were ushered into the pre-show tent. The wait there didn't last quite as long and before we knew it, we were on our way through he haunted woods that would lead us up into the haunted farm house. The whole haunt gets better and better every year! This year was no exception. The scare-actors are far more theatrical and well into their rolls than other haunts. And if god wasn't my witness, there was some form of corpse popping out at every turn. All the rooms had very detailed props and scenery. Again these guys inch out Terror on Rural Street as a realy great haunt to visit. If they keep up the advancement that they exceed every year, this could become a real name haunt!!!!! Now a quick video game review.....

Dead Space - The Survival Horror genre of video games has a boat-load of competition since Dead Space hit the shelves over a year ago. I had the privilege of first plying it just recently. It's a 3rd person, over the shoulder shooter with a bunch of survival and RPG mechanics thrown in for good measure. Imaging being an engineer on a space vessel in the distant future who is aboard a ship bound for a derelict space station that has lost all communication and is need of a rescue operation. Once aboard the creepy vessel you're ship is destroyed and you find yourself among morphed and scary versions of the former crew of the derelict vessel. As the story pans out, a large portion of rock that this space station has gutted from the lower planet it is hovering over has brought about some form of evil power that has mutated its crew into god-awful creatures that you have to destroy while trying to bring power back to the station in a bunch of different missions you are put on. This game is every bit as addictive as it can be frustrating! One moment you'll be lovin' life as you blow away spooky, creepy crawly remnants of the former crew members as you build up your character's weapon and armor stats, the next you'll be wanting the throw your controller through the nearest window as you try to get through some ridiculousness that includes missions where you have to sweat through silly timing puzzles and awkward trails to accomplish tasks that won't let you progress in the game unless you succeed. So, as every bit as cool as hell as this game is, it stunts its own growth by putting you in some really outlandish and more than difficult situations where you'll find yourself having to re-spawn and start over after a silly death due to very unfair challenges. Definitely worth checking out if you like survival horror, action or even RPG video games. But don't expect to progress too far without cursing the game at least 5 or 25 times. (View some footage of gameplay action HERE!)



And that about ends it for this week. I'll have a couple more movie reviews and perhaps one more local haunt review for you sometime next weekend to cap off this year's Halloween season. Then I'll have the Type O Negative concert to look forward to. Until next time, Stay Vertical, unless you're lucky enough to be undead.

Zangz.

ZombieConX Review

I spent last weekend getting infected...and it wasn't half bad.

"Infected? You Will Be!" was the promotional motto for last weekend's local Horror Genre convention, ZombieConX. Since it had been eons since I had the opportunity to attend a fun filled fan convention, I wasn't going to miss this con held just a 10 minute drive from my apartment.

I decided to go both Saturday and Sunday to take in all the creepy gory splendor. I got there a little too early as I had to wait in a small line of darkly dressed people for about an hour or so. The only entertaining moment that occurred was when the "Zombie Dolls" (spoke models for the con that were dressed in tight black paramilitary outfits) stormed past the line pulling along a captured zombified girl as they hollered things like, "Keep clear! We have an infected!!!", just prior to opening the doors. Cute. It's nice to know the organizers put a little fun and imagination into it.

Finally they started to herd people into the ticket lines. After a little confusion of what part of the table you actually purchased the tickets at, I got my two day tickets and headed into the main vendor/autograph hall. Apparently getting there early paid off quite well since the first 50 people in line received a free ZombieConX T-shirt. Trey cool, dudes!

Although the vendor section of the con was a little on the sparse side, it still had a whole bunch of cool people to talk to. I met one artist named Billy Tackett who is a painter that takes famous iconic images from the past and present and then adds a zombiesque touch to them. I bought a T-shirt with his Uncle Sam artwork on it. Then I met another artist named Mike Natarelli who was not only a tattoo artist, but also did some incredible genre / pop-culture etchings on glassware that has to be seen to be believed.

I also met a gentleman by the name of T. Glenn Bane who is an author and a Role Playing Game designer. He will have a book coming out soon called "The Gnoming - Haikus from Hell" which will feature a story of a small town infested by an army of demonic garden gnomes. Parts of the tale will be told in Haiku prose. I poop you not! He's going to pull it off.

There were also a cadre of small, independent fill makers either selling or promoting their movies. I ran into one group that just released their movie The Landlord. Apparently the movie has its own built in drinking game. So of course I picked up a copy. I haven't watched it yet. I'll let you now how it is.

I was hoping for more vendors (especially a T-shirt vendor with Horror movie images on them. Maybe next year.), but when you're at smaller con, you make the best out of what you have, and being able to talk and converse with these folks was pretty cool.

Then there were the celebs that showed up for selling autographs and Q & A sessions. All of them were quite gracious and friendly and were having as much fun as the fans coming to the show. Especially Scout Taylor Compton and Dee Wallace. Sid Haig was also there signing for fans.

One of the funny things about Saturday's events was that they held the Q&A sessions on the other side of the convention hall which was having some geriatric wellness seminar. So it was a regular site to see a bunch of people dressed as zombie clowns or zombie clergy walking down the hallway along with older people and their walkers. I guess you had to be there to appreciate the vision.

I went to a number of cool as frell Q&A sessions. There was one with some stars of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was more of a comedy improv theater than a Q&A.

There was one called The Great Zombie Debate which I thought would be some authors and fans talking about zombie mythos. But instead it was darn near every celebrity and author going at it on the subject of what was more horrifying, the slow traditional zombie or the newer, much faster zombies from movie like 28 Weeks. Everybody was getting into the quasi-heated discussion. Especially Scout Taylor Compton.

The Halloween: Then and Now seminar was just as good since actors from the original Halloween movies and the newer Rob Zombie redo's were there. Over the course of the half hour the subject matter changed to how Hollywood is made up bean counters and they're the ones who make the decisions on what movies get made and that is reflecting in a lot of these crappy remakes and unoriginal material that is infecting our Horror movie culture right now. All they care about is money and not plot, story or performance. Sad.

One of the last Q&A's I attended was the Wisconsin Paranormal Investigators. It's our own local group of ghost hunters. Though most some of them are skeptics more intent on debunking haunts rather than capturing ghosts, they did have some spooky stories to tell. Check their website!

I'm hoping this will be an annual con and they start to grow more. It has tons of potential of being up there with the likes of Chiller Con or Horrorfind Weekend! Perhaps getting more vendors with collectibles and souvenirs would be a start on expanding the con. I definitely plan on attending next year and spreading the word of the undead that infest Milwaukee's Wyndham Hotel!


I'm off today so I plan on spending much of it playing some Dead Space that I rented for the weekend. So far, it's pretty phenomenal when it comes to sc-fi survival horror! I'll have a review soon. Also watch for some possible Haunt reviews and more Horror movie reviews coming soon. I'm also hoping that my buddy Bruce will have his DragonCon diary up here soon. Perhaps after Halloween.

That's all for today! Until next time, Stay Vertical!

Zangz:

Into the Realms of Shadows.....or my lame movie reviews. Whatever blog title you feel suits this post.

October is in full swing.

As I drove home from work tonight the light from the setting sun reflected off of the trees changing color quite beautifully. It made my sour mindset that the hellacious work week implanted fade away quite quickly. That is until I witnessed some rich little pr**k in a Porsche (aka: The I HAVE A SMALL PENIS AND HAVE TROUBLE PERFORMING IN BED mobile) that pulled out of a mansion driveway off of opulent Lake Drive, cut off an ambulance as it passed on the right. Die Yuppie Scum!


On to more happy and spooky musings. Tomorrow and Sunday I'll be attending a Horror convention called Zombiecon X. To be perfectly honest, I never knew there was ever a I through IX. It's the first I've ever heard of a halfway decent genre convention here in my hometown after Gen Con left. Some of the stars of the Living Dead movies as well as Rob Zombie films will be in attendance. I'm in it to get some friggin' cool T-shirts, see some gothy babes and enjoy a panel discussion or two. I'll let you all know how it goes.


My buddy Bruce is almost ready with his review of this year's DragonCon. Hold tight. He wants it to be just right. I'll be posting it very soon. Now on to the main meat of this blog.

I promised you fair readers some Horror film reviews and I have them here. So lets buckle down, turn off the lights, fire up some Jack-O-Lanterns and read on... if you dare.

Friday the 13th (2009) - Not nearly a horrible remake as I was expecting. The original F13 was one of the many Horror movies of the late 70's that heralded in the "slasher flick". It is hard to capture that same sense of dread in this decade. When you want to make a re-boot film you have to be very careful not to crap all over the original. If you're not going to bring in a feeling of a homage to the source material, you might as well throw in the towel. This Michael Bay produced recharge isn't exactly a homage as it is just another Friday the 13th flick that tries to restart it from a new millennium perspective. There are slight hints to homage of the original. But it's mostly a teen slasher flick that happens to have Jason Voohees as the killer. I will give it this, the first 20 minutes are quite cleaver as we are introduced to a group of teens going to camp out near Camp Crystal Lake and within 20 minutes they are all slaughtered. End of the film? Not quite. that's just the introduction before the title screen. Then we go into the meat of the story line that involves annoyingly rich, beautiful kids spending a drug filled, boozed up, oversexed weekend at some snotty rich kid's parent's vacation home. Of course violence soon ensues. Not bad at all, but not the rebirth of the Friday the 13th movies as Casino Royale was for the James Bond movies or the recent Star Trek is for the Trekkie franchise. Worth checking out if you're a horror fan. If for nothing else, for curiosity's sake. Speaking of Trekkie's, they might get a laugh at who plays Jason's psychotic mother at the beginning of the film.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley - In a nutshell it's sort of a modern day, teen Rosemary's Baby without the pregnancy. A dark "chosen one" has to get herself through puberty at the same time as coming to terms there's a lot more to her than just teen angst. Apparently she's some form of dark, evil entity. Once she turns 18 she will attain great evil powers. It's never really revealed what her position in evil will be. Is she the daughter of the devil, the Anti-Christ, some big spooky chick. Even at the very end of this film you're asking yourself, "So just what the hell was she supposed to be?" I found it pretty boring and the ending was not at all as revealing as it should have been. Slight twist, but, by the end no one cares.

Feast 2 - This was almost as cool as the first one! Uber-gory and darkly funny. This hidden diamond is worth if for fans of plain out crazy horror debauchery. Odd creature terrorize a small hick, western township, going after an all girl biker gang, a used car salesman, a couple of small people wrestlers and a few other slimy characters. I give this puppy two thumbs up for a horror movie that never takes itself too seriously.

The Strangers - I found this movie to more of a disturbing quasi-slasher flick than anything else. Outside of the creepy masks the killers wear there's little else to give you the creeps. It's more about how a small band of psychos terrorize and victimize a couple who are renting a small ranch home as they're in town for a wedding. It has it's pop-out-scare moments, but that's about it. Another horror movie that just makes you mad rather than creeps you out and gives you nightmares.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - This started out as a brilliant, dark, mocumentary / comedy that satirizes the slasher horror genre. A grad school documentary crew follows an up and coming serial killer, Leslie Vernon. The first part of the film is quite humorously engaging as Leslie goes through the rules and processes of becoming the cliche slasher homicidal maniac. But, as the film progresses the pacing starts to go back and forth from dark comedy to oddball psychological thriller that takes itself too seriously and then finally on to actual slasher flick. Definitely worth checking out if you a big horror fan, even though it doesn't know what type of movie it really wants to be.

My Bloody Valentine (2009) - Another remake of a classic slasher film. I can't say that a guy dressed as a miner in an old mining town is quite as creepy or scary as a guy in a hockey mask or a guy wearing a busted ass William Shatner mask. But this film isn't quite all that bad. It pulls away from it's slasher roots towards the end and becomes a bit of a psychological thriller at the very end. It's ok. Rent it. Don't buy it.

Fido - A fun take on the zombie film. Not in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, though. This takes place in an alternate history of the 1950's where there was a great zombie outbreak that the humans thwarted. A huge corporation found a way to harness the zombies and make them humankind's slaves cursed to do menial tasks for the living. One young boy befriends his zombie servant and that's when things start to go bad. A resurgence of the zombie plague is at hand due to the friendship of a boy and his zombie. A fun film for us zombie fans to check out!

The Wickeds - SH*T SANDWICH. 'Nuf said. I could poop a better zombie/vampire/ghost story movie than this flick that was made in probably somebody's back yard.

My Name Is Bruce - If you're going to make a movie in somebody's back yard, THIS is the way to do it. Mostly filmed on the Oregon property of Man-God and star Bruce Campbell, this fun filled comedy horror flick excels at it's own wackiness. Let's pretend actor Bruce Campbell was a complete jerk. A divorced, drunken, womanizing, egotistical nard, who's popularity was slowly declining into a world of uber-cheap B-SciFi flicks. He suddenly finds possible redemption in being "hired on" as a potential town hero who is assigned to take on an ancient, undead Asian god. You can't take this movie seriously at all, and that's the fun of it. Campbell makes major fun at himself with some cheap effects, lame jokes and goofball storyline. If you're a Bruce Campbell fan, this is the must see Bruce movie....outside of the Evil Dead movies.

Ok, that's a wrap for tonight. Watch for more ghoulish fun here in my Blog of Geekdom to come soon. Until next time, "Stay Vertical". Zangz.

I LOVE ZOMBIES!!! And they love me back..... but only for my brain.

Happy October...Halloween Season.....Season of the dead. Call it what you will, it is what is usually my favorite time of year. Though I'm still quite aroused by the chill in the air, color in the change of leaves and the Halloween decorations that are slowly starting to pop up all around the countryside, my thoughts are still with friends dealing with some rough times.

Though I won't be celebrating in the mad, obsessive, immersive way I usually do. I'll still celebrate it here in my Blog of Geekdom.

And what better way to ring in the season than with Zombies!

I've been on a real zombie kick as of late. It started when I bought "World War Z" by Max Brooks. Then I purchased books I and II of the "The Walking Dead" comic book compilations. I don't know why, but lately the whole Zombigeddon mythos has me quite intrigued. Perhaps its the intense evaluation of human nature it brings out. Or perhaps it's just a good dose of creepy, brain eating gore that always seems to spew forth from it.

For whatever the reason, I'm pretty full blown into the whole zombie thing right now.

That's why I treated myself to a viewing of Zombieland earlier this evening. So here's my first Halloween movie review of the season...

Zombieland - There's been a hell of a lot of hype over this Zombie movie within the last week. Many fan boy web sites are touting this to be one of the greatest zombie movies of all time. Now, when I started to get into zombie movies, the first one that I truly loved to death was Return of the Living Dead. A great horror comedy for the mid '80's. I held many a zombie movie up to that filme for a very long time. Then came Shawn of the Dead. That blew me away in every way a zombie movie could. So then I held every zombie movie up to Shawn of the Dead.

Tonight I saw the much touted Zombieland. After reading a lot of the online reviews, I was expecting the second coming of the zombie film. So, does it hold up to Shawn of the Dead as a zombie / comedy movie? It's pretty darn close, that's for sure! Zombieland does not disappoint in any way shape of form when it comes to grisly, gore infested, head shooting fun. But, for some odd reason, my heart is still with Shawn. I'm not sure why and may have to see both movies again to figure that out

On it's own, Zombieland is everything you'd want a zombie / comedy film to be. If for nothing else, Woody Harrelson's character of Tallahassee kicks ass! Much in the same way that Big Trouble in Little China's Jack Burton does. Both are machismo, action induced, adventurous ass kickers. The only difference in the two are that Tallahassee actually succeeds in his ass-kickery.

Harrelson really runs away with this movie as a vengeful zombie killing machine. He is one of 3 other survivors that team up together to travel through the zombie infested world that was once modern day earth. At first the team is not a match made in heaven. You have the geek, the ass kicker, the babe and her little sister who are actually two female con artists. Jessie Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin round out this incredible ensemble cast that work quite wonderfully together.

Then there is a 5th cast member who's cameo role, albeit brief, will go down in history as one of the funniest cameos in a horror movie ever. I will not give it away.

The only real problem I had with the movie was it was only 80 minutes long. I wanted to see more zombie killing!!!

In the end, I did really love Zombieland and it will go down as one of the best zombie movies out there. I do feel the on-line, fan boy hype was a little overdone. Perhaps just bit. It's not quite Shawn of the Dead, but it can certainly sit right next to Shawn with great glee and pride as a darn near, equally as good zombie flick.

Try and see this jem before the Halloween season is over.

One more zombie story.

Not long ago I had this weird dream I'd like to share with all of you. In the dream, the friends I usually go to haunted attractions with came with me on a trip to a small, quaint little berg that was sort of a resort / vacation / tourist spot. It had more of a Door County vibe rather than a Wisconsin Dells flavor to it. There was a nice, quaint little main street filled with antique and gift shops. Down the street was a larger warehouse looking building that was all boarded up.

Myself with my friends Iris and Roberto decided to investigate it. It had "KEEP OUT" spray painted all over it in big red letters. There just so happened to be an old timer sitting outside of the building.

We asked him what the building was used for. He told us a story of how a few years prior there was some sort of nuclear power plant not far from town that had a leak and many of the residents had turned into the undead. The local sheriff and his crew were lucky enough to herd them into the building were they have been sealed up ever since.

Now most normal people would view this dream as a nightmare. But let's see where this dream heads in my sick, twisted little brain.

At that point my friends and I start discussing the situation. Instead of seeing this a horrible place, we view it as a financial opportunity!

We decide to buy the building and turn it into one of the premiere haunted attractions of all time. Instead of using animatronic props and scare-actors, we decide have patrons really run for their lives using real life zombies.

My friends and I learn to herd the zombies around without getting bitten while at the same time reworking the warehouse to look like a haunted house.

It is at this point that I woke up unfortunately.

I don't know what that dream tells about me, but I may be headed to the asylum soon.

That's it for me tonight. Watch for more Halloween hi-jinx and horror movie reviews coming soon.

And remember that rustling outside of your window isn't the wind. It's an undead zombie coming to eat your brain. Sweet dreams!

Zangz.

IT'S OFFICIAL: THE UNIVERSE IS SERIOUSLY F**KED UP!!!!

I've been a bit vacant on this here blog lately.  I know that it is especially strange since the Halloween season is starting to rev up and I'm usually blogging like a fiend during this time.

The truth of the matter is that our Halloween season has run into a bit of a snag.  Actually one big, huge frackin' snag!  To put it in a nutshell without divulging too much personal info, some people I care deeply about and who help celebrate the holiday with me every year are going through an unexpected, quite harrowing time in their lives.  The news of the situation had us all decrying "THE UNIVERSE IS SERIOUSLY F**KED UP" (origin of quote goes to my friend Iris Von Beaverhousen).  Though I'm more than confident they will be more than capable taking on this challenge that life and the f**ked up universe has put in front of them, I still feel a little silly celebrating Halloween when they're dealing with their life altering situation.

Originally I was all out going to not celebrate the holiday at all.  No pumpkins in my windows, no local haunts visited, no pumpkin carving, no decorations, hardly anything at all except for a few horror movie rentals (since I already had them in my on-line movie club queue (pronounced queef for those of you not in the know.)

I wasn't quite sure how to approach Halloween this year and not much in the mood to do anything at all, when a wise sage told me, "John, you're Mr. Halloween!  I'm pretty sure your friends would want you to celebrate Halloween, still."

I thought about this for a while and came to the decision that Zangz's Blog of Geekdom  will still celebrate Halloween here!  It might be somewhat more subdued compared to years past, but I'm still going to throw up some Horror movie reviews, perhaps a spooky tale or two and maybe, just maybe, at least one local haunt review if luck should shine my way.  One thing I do plan on doing is attending the Type O Negative concert in late October!!!!!  They're making a special Halloween tour of 10 cities and Milwaukee is one of them!!!


At the end of the day it all comes down to my friends kickin' ass and taking no prisoners in their great challenge.  I'm not sure that by my sitting on my ass in a state of depression and Halloween deprevity will make things any better.  Hopefully they'll be checking out the blog and get a good dose of the Halloween spirit (pun lame, but still intended) here.  I'm still not completley sure that this is exactally what they'd want, but a geek has got to get his undead love on durring this season.

Hope it's all good.


In other news, I've been told that my buddy Bruce is putting his finishing touches on his review of this year's DragonCon and could be posted here within days.  So keep a heads up for it.  God, I've got to go one of these years.  Anyone have any extra lottery money lying around?


Also, I've finally finished the main quest of Fallout 3. I've also finished the extra content of Operation Anchorage, The Pit, Point Lookout and am currently starting up on Broken Steel.  I'm hoping that they come out with a disc for Mothership Zeta.  'Cause that would complete the whole game for me.

That's all for now, kids.  I know it's short, but I wanted to fill you in on the situation here in the blog.

Before I go I want to ask one quick question to you all.  Is it wrong for an adult, heteralsexual male geek who usually listens to the likes of  Iron Maiden, Dream Theater and Type O Negative to pick up a copy of Lady GaGa' "The Fame"?  It's not like I have, or anything.  Honest!  It's a...er...a freind of mine who has.  Your thoughts? 

Zangz.

A Meeting of Legends!

There are certain points in history that have remarkable power that last well into the future of mankind.

One such moment took place this weekend at an event that many of us geeks refer to as a incarnation of Geek Valhalla. DragonCon ran from this past Wednesday night through Monday evening in Atlanta, Georgia.

To call it a Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror or pop culture convention would not be doing it justice. To say the least it is a grand explosion of the imaginatively blessed who converge on the city of Atlanta and let their geek flag fly high and mighty! It is a cornucopia of fantastical delights!!! Not only do the fans of the genres gather to become one there, many of the celebs, actors and actresses of the genre TV shows and movies also take part in panel discussions and meet and greets while rubbing elbows with the fans.

One such panel discussion was an event that will live in wonderment for time to come. I'm am speaking of the William Shatner / Leonard Nimoy panel discussion that took place.

Sadly, there was no possible way either financially or logistically that I could attend (and besides, there's no way I was going to miss Robahin). And I'm pretty sure thousands of other geeks were in my same situation this weekend.

That is why I was thrilled when I was cruising YouTube yesterday and came across the Shatner / Nimoy panel discussion that a very wonderful person called WhatJaneSays posted for those of us that missed out on the event of a lifetime.

I highly suggest that if you have about an hour, you'll want to check out the links of the panel discussion below. It is not only very humorous, you're also given a glimpse of Shatner and Nimoy's friendship and how well they bounce things off one another. It's pretty hilarious! So if you need some cheering up (and I know a few people who do right now!) have a gander at these......

William Shatner & Leonard Nimoy Panel Discussion at DragonCon 2009
Brought to you by WhatJaneSays @ YouTube.

PART I
PART II
PART III
PART IV
PART V
PART VI
PART VII

In a DragonCon side note, I'm hoping to get a report out of my buddy Bruce who got to attend this weekend. Hopefully he'll have some pretty cool stories that I will post here soon. We'll have to give him time to settle down a bit upon his return home. DragonCon is a 24 hour, 5 day party for geeks and I'm sure it took a bit of the piss out of him.

On another subject, we celebrated the birthday of my good friend Roberto with the annual Robhain festivities (see last post) were we always joke that someone will eventually end up in the hospital. Again it involved construction and destruction contests as well as trivia contests. And there was the ever plentiful amount of wondrous food and beverages. A good time was had by all.... until someone actually did have to go to the hospital. It's nothing that will involve any litigation concerning Robhain, however, I would ask all readers of the blog (2.5 of you) to send good vibes out my friend Iris' way. It is much appreciated.


I'm heading out to run some errands before I return to work tomorrow. So take care and remember those good vibes!

Zangz.

Time Travel to the Fantastical

Last weekend I had a bit of a fun adventure. I traveled back in time to a place where the history of the Renaissance was meshed together with Medieval Fantasy. A place where one minute I was avoiding an armor clad Klingon heading right in my direction and the next I was scoping out a beautiful young harpist playing by the side of the road. Another minute I would be watching a cute little Wood Nymph play with a young, visiting child.

This place of great mystery, oddities and magic can only be one location. I speak of course of the local Renaissance Fair.

Last Sunday some of my family and friends hit the road, out of the city, and out into the Southern farm lands. Once we traversed the traffic and mass amount of needless construction we found ourselves on a quaint back road that led us to the wonderful little township of Bristol, a berg that time forgot.

As soon as we got out of the car we noticed the many folks dressed in Renaissance, Medieval and Fantasy clothing. All the while I was thinking, "Now these are my kind of people!" As you may have guessed, I have a very soft spot for people who really get into the Fantastical.

And this would be the place that they would be able to let their hair down and feel welcome and comfortable, far away from the mundane, judgmental and yuppie-esque "real" world.

As soon as we made our way through the main gates we found ourselves immediately plunked, smack dab into a magical little township. The yells of storekeepers selling their goods, the smell of delicious foods and the music of a time thought long gone attacked our senses.

A jester entertaining a small band of royals and wealthy was the first introduction into our immersion into the fantasy world that these imaginative people who run, work at and attend the Ren Fair had for us.

We finally reached our initial destination of the jousting field. The knights, both good and evil, put on a great show where one of the evil knights won the contest. Huzzah for the dark ones!

As we made our way further into the heavily wooded township we saw a bevy of young wenches selling pickles, mushrooms and cheese fritters. Of course my eyes were glued to those tasty cheese fritters the whole time......... honest.

There were many leather good shops and blacksmith stores selling all manner of battle tool. My Bro-In-Law played around with one a bit. It was a wonderfully nasty instrument that was a staff that had an axe at its head with what looked like a pronged meat tenderizer on the opposite side of the axe. Not being a weapons historian, I have no clue as to what it was called, but I'm sure quite a few knight in shining armor got sliced and diced by one of them back in the day.

There were a few shops I enjoyed quite a bit. There was the little occult shop where I picked up a book on Zombies for my Halloween reading. There was also a shop dedicated to walking sticks and staffs. I have to admit, I was eyeing up one particular large, black staff that had a twist design going up it. At it's head was a Samuel Adams Black Larger tap. It was a bit out of my price range for this month's budget. So Sadly I missed out on my "Staff of Everlasting Grog" It would have given me a +50 against weak, skunky domestic beers.

"PBR Me? I think not! Get me a good micro-brew or import you silly lackey!"

Which reminds me of another good thing about the Ren Fair! They have five or six pubs throughout the township that not only sell the usual domestic swill, they also have a few lager and stout imports on hand.

The best part of it all were the people who come to these things dressed in full fantasy regalia! These aren't the people who work or run the fair though. These are the incredibly imaginative and talented folks who come in their own armor, with swords and magic staffs in hand. They're always ready to do battle with whatever invading army or dragon that may come to threaten the fair. Actually the only threat are the foul-minded yuppies who show up and shake their heads in disbelief. Sadly, they just don't get it. But, this isn't their world. There are no stock portfolios to plot and plan over, no golf courses, no business suits, no trophy wife / husband and no greed or boredom. Only the magic of imagination.

My only regret is that I never get a chance to hang with these Ren Fair people. Rumor has it, they throw real good parties after the fair shuts down for the day. And what self respecting geek wouldn't want to party with a bevy of wenches?



In other geekified news....

I've gone back to playing Fallout 3 since I have a couple of add on packs that I've installed. I finished up on both "The Pitt" and "Operation: Anchorage" and now I'm working on "Point Lookout" and "Broken Steel". All the bloodshed and character development a gamer could ask for in the post apocalyptic world of Washington D.C. and Maryland. Point Lookout looks particularly creepy as it takes place in some swampland and involves fighting off inbreds.


The Festival of Robahain (my friend Roberto's B-Day party) is coming up next weekend. There's sure to be bloodshed and fun. You can read about past Robhain's HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE. I'll report back, if I make it out alive.


Concerning reporting back, Zangz's Blog of Geekdom is sending a special agent to the geek festival of DragonCon, a five day Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror and gaming convention held every year in Atlanta. Since Gen Con has become pretty lame since it left Milwaukee, DragonCon has become the "go to" con for Role Players and fanboys alike.

My buddy Bruce is heading down there and I'm trying to get him to prep a report on his findings. So watch for that soon!


You do know what is also coming up, don't you? C'mon! All the signs are there. The slight change in temperature, the ever so change in the color of the leaves in trees, the Octoberfests and Pumpkin ales are already starting to hit the store shelves and the fact that a bunch of Halloween Express' are already popping up around town! The Season of the Dead is coming quicker than you may think. I've already bought a pumpkin scented candle. Is it too early to get into the Halloween vibe. Perhaps......... NAW!!!! It's never too early to get into the Halloween season!!!!


And with that, I close this blog. Until next time, as a wise man once told me, Stay Vertical!

Zangz.

Back from the "Big T" in Time to Remember John Hughes

I can't say that I was an uber-John Hughes geek like many other fans of filmdom are. But, like hundreds of thousands of people within my age range, I was saddened to hear of his untimely and sudden passing this past week.

The Breakfast Club, Uncle Buck, Weird Science, Some Kind of Wonderful, Pretty in Pink, and my personal Hughes fave Ferris Bueller's Day Off were great comedies aimed at teens that spoke to them, not at them. The movies didn't portray teens as sex hungry knuckleheads , like many of the teen romp movies did during the '80's (well...Weird Science kind of did.....but who wouldn't be sex hungry after taking a shower with Kelly LaBrock?).

John Hughes' young characters were people we all could easily relate to. They all could have very easily existed at that time and place that was known as the mid eighties. These movies were something special for those of us going through our young high school lives at the same time these movies were being released.

Rather than continuing to pathetically attempt to eulogize him here, I came across a personal blog via Ain't It Cool News. It's by an outstanding woman who, as a teen, had a pen pal relationship with the late producer-director. It's pretty phenomenal reading whether you're a John Hughes fan or not.

Click HERE to take a gander.

RIP John Hughes.


In other tid bits....

I got back from the family road trip to Houston, Texas relatively unscathed. There were a couple of tense moments once we drove into Houston and got a bit off track due to some faulty directions from AAA. But, it all came together in the end.

Highlights included seeing the George Lucas exhibit at Houston's NASA center. It was quite small, but there were some cool props displayed. Perhaps I'll post some photos for all to see someday.

There was also a visit to the Kemah Boardwalk on Galveston Bay. Avery fun place, but it was waaaaaayyyyy too hot and muggy that day. We didn't stay too long. There was a visit to the USS Texas. They let you climb up into the gun emplacements and operate the side to side and up and down movements!! My Bro-In-Law regressed to ten years old each and pretended we were shootin' down zero's. We also saw the nearby battlefield at San Jacinto.

There was much eating done on that trip. I believe I ate my own weight in BBQ, pancakes, Fajitas, pizza and Korean cuisine. The bathroom breaks were plenty but well worth it to make more room for the next meal.

All in all, it was great seeing dad and my step family again. My sister got to take her "little side trip" to Dallas and myself and Bro-In-Law made great time driving back.

I hope to go back and see more of Texas. I definitely want to check out Austin someday.


What am I listening to right now? We'll I just picked up Dream Theater's "Black Clouds & Silver Linings". It's an incredible piece of music about personal pain and how it's dealt with. If the song "Wither" doesn't bring a lump in your throat, you have no soul.

We'll folks, I have a baby shower to go to this afternoon, so I gotta get movin'.

Later.

Zangz.

The Chocolate Luv Scent of Zangz.

Though I'm venturing into middle age, I still like to present a good appearance....and scent. I'm a single guy who doesn't like to be plagued with body order. And you never know who you're going to bump into.

I went grocery shopping a few weeks back and realized I was running low on body soap for when I shower. I decided I'd try something different. Perhaps something a little more manly than the usual bland body soap. As I went down the isle filled with bodily care creams, rinses and other smellerific stuff, I came to the body soap section.

Tons upon tons to choose from. I went to a brand that may be aimed for younger guys and started going through the sniffing process with each of its scents. They all of course had cheesy names like the name of Greek gods, names of U-Boats, names of automatic weaponry. Stuff that would bring the machismo out of lame, unsuspecting, lonely men (ehem...).

I sniffed on down the line until they all started to smell the same. Then I came across one that was named something like Darkest Passion. I opened the top of the manly, dark brown container and took a whiff. The cent made me reminisce of a time when I loved to wear musky colognes, like Drakkar. I was sold and pulled it from the shelf dropping it into my cart.

The next morning I decided to give it a try. While showering I squeezed out a plentiful amount of what appeared to be dark brown goo onto my body sponge. I then start sudsing up all over. The musky smell wasn't as prevalent as it seemed when I was taking the whiff in the grocery store. I guessed that wasn't a bad thing since I didn't want to be too overpowering. But, it did seem to have a different kind of smell that I couldn't put my finger on.

I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed for the day. I had to run out and do a few errands that day, but relaxed in front of the TV for a bit before heading out the door. As I sat there I could distinctively smell someone in the apartment building, on my floor, baking brownies. My stomach started to gurgle with hunger and I made myself a bowl of cereal. I then went out and did some errands going to a local mall to pick up a few things. The smell of the brownies seemed trapped in my nose the entire time.

I came home a few hours later and could still smell chocolate brownies all over the place. As the day progressed into a video game marathon, the brownie scent continued.

As I rattled through some Fallout 3 on the '360, I raised my arm to itch my nose. As my hand came up to my nose, the scent of the brownies overpowered me. "Holy Crap!" I made a realization. "I SMELL LIKE FRACKIN' BROWNIES!" I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the dark brown container of what I mistook for the scent of "musk" and gave it a pure whiff, not an altered whiff after sniffing several different scents beforehand as I had done in the grocery store.

Sure enough. The smell of musk was gone. Instead the smell of Mom's chocolaty home cooking came from the DARK BROWN container named something silly like DARKEST PASSION.

Here's what I instantly envisioned at the board meeting of the manly body soap company where the idea for the sweet scent was introduced.....

CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "We need a new scent for our manly-man body soap line. Something different.

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Hey guys, I've been brainstorming in my office for a while and came up with what will be quite a doosey!"

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Really, do tell."

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, women really like to cook, right?"

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."

Corporate Advertising D-Bag#3: "Of course!"

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "And they like chocolate, right"

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #3: "Of course!"

Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, THAT'S our new scent! Chocolate Bakery Products!!!! We'll call it Dark Passions or something equally as silly! I'm just sure there's at least some tool who'll think that it smells like just another musk."

CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "Excellent! Let's have that out on the shelves by next week!"

And that is why I spent the better part of the day smelling like Betty Crocker's finest. And I didn't even get mugged in an elevator by a brood of visually stunning women like on the body soap's commercials....sigh.

In other stuff....

Since I have other travel plans this weekend, I decided to do a virtual visit to Geek Valhalla, the San Diego Comic Con. I did this by visiting several postings on YouTube. From what I can tell the whole Twilight / New Moon franchise has taken over a good portion of the show this year. Thus mixed in with a lot of middle aged men with lots of facial hair, Spider-Man T-Shirts and a lack of body soap (hey, at least I have that chocolate gunk) will be young, screaming, female tweeners. Not a great mix.

Maybe opting to go take a road trip with family members to go visit my dad in Houston was a better idea than trying to drum up the major moola it would have cost to even attempt to visit the con. The San Diego Comic Con is sadly just a pipe dream for me right now.

I do plan to have a great time in Houston, though. We'll be visiting NASA. They currently have an exhibit of the works of George Lucas! So that should fill up a bit of my geek appetite.

I have to get packing, folks. Enjoy your week and I'll report back.

Zangz.

Blow Stuff Up!!!!

The Independence Day three day weekend couldn't have come any sooner! After another grueling week at work I have arrived at a weekend that will hopefully be filled with fun, explosives, beer, explosives, cigars, explosives, good friends, good laughs, good eats and explosives. Is it any wonder that the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. I hope all of you have a great holiday weekend and get to see some good explosives going off.....hopefully within a safe distance of you.


Ya know, I've been looking at my past posts of this year (if I don't do it, who will) and have noticed that they are far less in quantity than in years past. It's not that I don't enjoy visiting here or am getting bored with it. I think this year I've become far busier and when I get home from work I'm so beat, the last thing I want to do is try and do some creative free writing. Especially when it's free writing that 2.5 people read regularly. So if you're truly bothered by my less frequent blogs. I apologize. I can always try to be a little more attentive to my silly little spot on the world wide web.


It certainly is summer in the Brew City. The sounds of the huge, local music party, Summerfest, can be heard off the lakefront, bouncing off the buildings where Zangz's Blog of Geekdom's headquarters are located. I was hoping to get down there last night to catch Judas Priest, but after getting out of work later than I had hoped, the last thing I wanted to do was go down and pay $15 to get into the fest only to end up buying overpriced beer, marked up cigars and trying to get a glimpse of Priest amongst of throngs of people who probably got the day off to stake out a spot earlier in the day.

Instead I opted to hit a local Irish Pub near work where a co-worker won an "office party" (15 free pitchers of beer) Oddly enough only six others from work showed up. I believe we could only polish away 10 of them between us before we gave in. I decided to stay for dinner to sop up the some of the free beer. An excellent pub burger was ingested very quickly.

Later in the evening I found myself out back in my parking lot enjoying the nice weather and a cigar. A perfect start to a very well deserved three day weekend.


In geek related topics, I recently picked up the add on supplement to one of my favorite video games of the past year, Fallout 3. The add on allows character generation to go beyond just a measly 20 levels as well as adding more game content including scenarios called "The Pitt" as well as "Operation Anchorage". Originally this content was only given to those with an Xbox 360 Live Internet connection as downloadable content. But the wonderful people at Bethesda have provided in on a update disc for those of us not hooked up. Rumore has it there's even more new scenarios and adventures planned for Fallout 3 in the near future and I'm hoping they'll be provided on a disc also!

The sad thing is even though I bought this a month ago, I still haven't played any of it because I'm still traipsing through Two Worlds. The game is getting a little frustrating as I'm finding that it has quite a few glitches that actually don't allow you to complete quests. I'm glad I got that game for real cheap.

Music wise, what have I been listening to latley? I've found Shiny Toy Guns to be a pleasent little electronica diversion from my usual much louder and aggressive interests. Check them out, won't you?

What else can I tell you? Not much. That's about it for today.

Again have a fun and safe 4th of July!

Zangz.