Though I'm venturing into middle age, I still like to present a good appearance....and scent. I'm a single guy who doesn't like to be plagued with body order. And you never know who you're going to bump into.
I went grocery shopping a few weeks back and realized I was running low on body soap for when I shower. I decided I'd try something different. Perhaps something a little more manly than the usual bland body soap. As I went down the isle filled with bodily care creams, rinses and other smellerific stuff, I came to the body soap section.
Tons upon tons to choose from. I went to a brand that may be aimed for younger guys and started going through the sniffing process with each of its scents. They all of course had cheesy names like the name of Greek gods, names of U-Boats, names of automatic weaponry. Stuff that would bring the machismo out of lame, unsuspecting, lonely men (ehem...).
I sniffed on down the line until they all started to smell the same. Then I came across one that was named something like Darkest Passion. I opened the top of the manly, dark brown container and took a whiff. The cent made me reminisce of a time when I loved to wear musky colognes, like Drakkar. I was sold and pulled it from the shelf dropping it into my cart.
The next morning I decided to give it a try. While showering I squeezed out a plentiful amount of what appeared to be dark brown goo onto my body sponge. I then start sudsing up all over. The musky smell wasn't as prevalent as it seemed when I was taking the whiff in the grocery store. I guessed that wasn't a bad thing since I didn't want to be too overpowering. But, it did seem to have a different kind of smell that I couldn't put my finger on.
I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed for the day. I had to run out and do a few errands that day, but relaxed in front of the TV for a bit before heading out the door. As I sat there I could distinctively smell someone in the apartment building, on my floor, baking brownies. My stomach started to gurgle with hunger and I made myself a bowl of cereal. I then went out and did some errands going to a local mall to pick up a few things. The smell of the brownies seemed trapped in my nose the entire time.
I came home a few hours later and could still smell chocolate brownies all over the place. As the day progressed into a video game marathon, the brownie scent continued.
As I rattled through some Fallout 3 on the '360, I raised my arm to itch my nose. As my hand came up to my nose, the scent of the brownies overpowered me. "Holy Crap!" I made a realization. "I SMELL LIKE FRACKIN' BROWNIES!" I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the dark brown container of what I mistook for the scent of "musk" and gave it a pure whiff, not an altered whiff after sniffing several different scents beforehand as I had done in the grocery store.
Sure enough. The smell of musk was gone. Instead the smell of Mom's chocolaty home cooking came from the DARK BROWN container named something silly like DARKEST PASSION.
Here's what I instantly envisioned at the board meeting of the manly body soap company where the idea for the sweet scent was introduced.....
CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "We need a new scent for our manly-man body soap line. Something different.
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Hey guys, I've been brainstorming in my office for a while and came up with what will be quite a doosey!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Really, do tell."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, women really like to cook, right?"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag#3: "Of course!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "And they like chocolate, right"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #3: "Of course!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, THAT'S our new scent! Chocolate Bakery Products!!!! We'll call it Dark Passions or something equally as silly! I'm just sure there's at least some tool who'll think that it smells like just another musk."
CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "Excellent! Let's have that out on the shelves by next week!"
And that is why I spent the better part of the day smelling like Betty Crocker's finest. And I didn't even get mugged in an elevator by a brood of visually stunning women like on the body soap's commercials....sigh.
I went grocery shopping a few weeks back and realized I was running low on body soap for when I shower. I decided I'd try something different. Perhaps something a little more manly than the usual bland body soap. As I went down the isle filled with bodily care creams, rinses and other smellerific stuff, I came to the body soap section.
Tons upon tons to choose from. I went to a brand that may be aimed for younger guys and started going through the sniffing process with each of its scents. They all of course had cheesy names like the name of Greek gods, names of U-Boats, names of automatic weaponry. Stuff that would bring the machismo out of lame, unsuspecting, lonely men (ehem...).
I sniffed on down the line until they all started to smell the same. Then I came across one that was named something like Darkest Passion. I opened the top of the manly, dark brown container and took a whiff. The cent made me reminisce of a time when I loved to wear musky colognes, like Drakkar. I was sold and pulled it from the shelf dropping it into my cart.
The next morning I decided to give it a try. While showering I squeezed out a plentiful amount of what appeared to be dark brown goo onto my body sponge. I then start sudsing up all over. The musky smell wasn't as prevalent as it seemed when I was taking the whiff in the grocery store. I guessed that wasn't a bad thing since I didn't want to be too overpowering. But, it did seem to have a different kind of smell that I couldn't put my finger on.
I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed for the day. I had to run out and do a few errands that day, but relaxed in front of the TV for a bit before heading out the door. As I sat there I could distinctively smell someone in the apartment building, on my floor, baking brownies. My stomach started to gurgle with hunger and I made myself a bowl of cereal. I then went out and did some errands going to a local mall to pick up a few things. The smell of the brownies seemed trapped in my nose the entire time.
I came home a few hours later and could still smell chocolate brownies all over the place. As the day progressed into a video game marathon, the brownie scent continued.
As I rattled through some Fallout 3 on the '360, I raised my arm to itch my nose. As my hand came up to my nose, the scent of the brownies overpowered me. "Holy Crap!" I made a realization. "I SMELL LIKE FRACKIN' BROWNIES!" I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the dark brown container of what I mistook for the scent of "musk" and gave it a pure whiff, not an altered whiff after sniffing several different scents beforehand as I had done in the grocery store.
Sure enough. The smell of musk was gone. Instead the smell of Mom's chocolaty home cooking came from the DARK BROWN container named something silly like DARKEST PASSION.
Here's what I instantly envisioned at the board meeting of the manly body soap company where the idea for the sweet scent was introduced.....
CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "We need a new scent for our manly-man body soap line. Something different.
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Hey guys, I've been brainstorming in my office for a while and came up with what will be quite a doosey!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Really, do tell."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, women really like to cook, right?"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag#3: "Of course!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "And they like chocolate, right"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #2: "Yup. They sure do."
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #3: "Of course!"
Corporate Advertising D-Bag #1: "Well, THAT'S our new scent! Chocolate Bakery Products!!!! We'll call it Dark Passions or something equally as silly! I'm just sure there's at least some tool who'll think that it smells like just another musk."
CEO of Corporate Advertising Firm Filled with D-Bags: "Excellent! Let's have that out on the shelves by next week!"
And that is why I spent the better part of the day smelling like Betty Crocker's finest. And I didn't even get mugged in an elevator by a brood of visually stunning women like on the body soap's commercials....sigh.
In other stuff....
Since I have other travel plans this weekend, I decided to do a virtual visit to Geek Valhalla, the San Diego Comic Con. I did this by visiting several postings on YouTube. From what I can tell the whole Twilight / New Moon franchise has taken over a good portion of the show this year. Thus mixed in with a lot of middle aged men with lots of facial hair, Spider-Man T-Shirts and a lack of body soap (hey, at least I have that chocolate gunk) will be young, screaming, female tweeners. Not a great mix.Maybe opting to go take a road trip with family members to go visit my dad in Houston was a better idea than trying to drum up the major moola it would have cost to even attempt to visit the con. The San Diego Comic Con is sadly just a pipe dream for me right now.
I do plan to have a great time in Houston, though. We'll be visiting NASA. They currently have an exhibit of the works of George Lucas! So that should fill up a bit of my geek appetite.
I have to get packing, folks. Enjoy your week and I'll report back.
Zangz.
No comments:
Post a Comment