Hello there, fellow geeks, goobs and lovers of things dark and creepy. We're certainly full throttle into our time of year. Only one more week to go before the fun is over.
Today I enjoyed the day off from work and had a chance to take a drive into the suburbs. I have to tell you that even thought the weather was dark, murky and wet, the color of the changing trees were all that more brilliant! In an odd way the gray sky backdrop heightened the bright orange leaves the trees were trying not to loose. Very beautiful!
So over the last week or so I've immersed myself in Halloweenish indulgences. I have experienced a few Horror movies and a couple of Haunted Attractions. So let's dive right into the reviews.
Let's start with the movies
Dark Ride - Get a young, hot, name actress coming off of one of the greatest TV mobster serials of all time, then add a creepy setting such as an abandoned Haunted House ride on Cooney Island, try and spice it all up with a group of college kids trapped in the Haunt with a homicidal maniac, then attempt to put a little mystery into the mix and you'll get a so-so B-grade horror flick. Jamie-Lynn Sigler heads the cast as a fed up girlfriend who's dragged along on a road trip with her boyfriend and a few other kids to spend the night in the abandoned dark ride. Once they arrive and break in the slaying then ensues. Far from the worst horror movie out there (The Wickeds), this film does little to give the Horror Genre a boost. Its' pretty common slasher fare up until the very lame mystery "reveal" at the end of the film. There is some good creepiness in the main killer with his mannequin face and slow, hunched over movements, but it's not much that we haven't seen before. (View Trailer HERE).
The Messengers 2: The Scarecrow - The first Messengers movie, staring a pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart was pretty friggn' creepy if not a bit predictable. If you're looking for something similar you'll be sorrowfully disappointed in this name only sequel. Yes, it involves a family trying to make a change in their lives by buying a creepy old farm like the first movie. That's where the relativity stops. Instead of a bunch of way-creepy restless spirits haunting the farm, it's a half-assed, looks like plastic, supposed to be creepy scarecrow that is cursed to whoever uses it. The father of the new family, who looks like he's about 25 years old rather than a fatherly figure, decides to use the "creepy" scarecrow to ward off the crows who are eating up his cornfield and putting him in debt. That's when people start to disappear and the scarecrow starts to take victims. This movie is pretty long winded and predictable. (See Trailer HERE!)
The Hills Have Eyes (2006 remake) - Like the original, this remake (yep, another) features the story of a family making a cross country trek through the vast desert of the west when they run into a psychotic group of inbred, nuclear mutated freaks. Once the trap is set the muties start picking off family members one by one in shocking way after diabolical way. I think that I would have enjoyed this film a lot more if A. It wasn't a remake (can't anyone in Hollywood come up with something original.) and B. there wasn't a rape scene. I know the original had the rape scene as well, but that was released in a time where rape scenes in horror films were more than just there for shock purposes. It was beyond taboo and was in the film for a real jarring reason. This scene is there strictly for the "look how evil these muties are, ohhh are they scary" type of vibe which is NOT COOL!!! I've said it before about certain horror flicks and I'll say it again. Rape should never be used as a trivialized scare tool! And sadly this remake does just that. Sad, since it had sooo much more potential. (See trailer HERE).
The Landlord - I came upon this film from attending ZombieConX a few weeks back. In the dealers room there was a booth dedicated to the film. As I walked past it, there was a young man with long hair and glasses standing in the isle who noticed my "Illuminati: Someone You Trust Is One Of Us" T-shirt. He commented on it wondering if I was a fan of the collectible card game. I told him I'd never played but thought the shirt was very clever with the whole hint of how the "mythical" organization is in control of everything. He found that amusing and then went full throttle into trying to sell the horror movie to me. I talked to him a bit and he told me he was a fledgling film maker from Chicago. I told him I'd check back with him later that weekend. Sure enough, the next day I plopped down my $10 for the DVD of his movie, The Landlord. If you're a Horror fan you'll appreciate this movie, if for nothing else, the creative force of very independent film makers who've probably funded their film on a bunch of newly accepted credit cards that were probably maxed out straight away before production even started. There's a good dose of dark humor in this flick about a building land lord who owns a building that has a gateway to hell and is under the control of two ancient demonic spirits that date back to Egyptian times. You'll have a love for this film if you're a fan of independent film makers who focus on the Horror genre and if you have a fond love of dark humor. If you're looking for a big budget Horror spectacular that doesn't use gory props that can be purchased at you local Halloween shop, then you may not be interested. But you gotta love the independent filmaking process that this movie exudes! Kudos to Emil Hyde for putting his financial balls on the line and living his dream of being a Horror film maker and stopping me in the middle of the ZombieConX isle to comment on my Illuminati T-shirt.
The Hills Have Eyes 2 - The sequel to the 2006 remake doesn't fare too much better than its predecessor. The exception may be that there isn't a full on rape scene, just a near rape scene (sigh). Instead of a family being terrorized by a group of muties, it's a squadron of army trainees who are investigating the disappearance of a survey team out in the hills and mine tunnels of the desert. So it tries hard to be reminiscent of Aliens with a lot of that machismo military banter that plagues sooooo many Sci-Fi, Action and Horror movies to date since Aliens was released. Outside of the cheesy banter, that's where the comparison with Aliens ends. It's also slightly more predictable as it's first movie. (View Trailer HERE!) Oh when, oh when, Dark Spooky Gods, will there be a Horror movie I have rented where I can get the creeps at the same time be entertained?
Quarantine - Ok. Ok, we're starting to get there. If not in big leaps in bounds, certainly in little steps. This flick has a lot going for it. It's creepy. It's a zombie flick (oh yes it is!). And it has some truly creepy scenes in it. It's shot in documentary form as it follows a news crew covering an evening in a firehouse and what firefighters have to go though in a "day in the life" piece. The TV crew tags along when the station gets a call about some sort of health issue with a woman living in a slightly run down apartment building. Well of course the lady has some sort of zombie like virus and before you can say "Bob's Your Undead Uncle" the whole building is forcefully under quarantine and shut closed with tenants, firefighters and the news crew trapped inside with a zombie plague slowly infecting them all. For the most part I really enjoyed this movie. There was one slight issue I did have with it, however. It was shot in a Bliar Witch type of "lost footage - found" vibe, supposedly from the news team covering it all. This would have been a real cool idea if the movie hadn't been so Hollywoodized. When you shoot a film in that kind of style, you're trying to convey the fact that "this could have really happened!" But, the facts that you have stars from Dexter, Boston Legal and the dude who was married to Christina Applegate staring in the film, kind of takes away from the whole reality feel they were going for. Also, the sets and lighting and effects have a very polished Hollywood feel to them as well, also negating the "true life feel" the film was trying to convey. Despite that flaw, it's still a pretty darned good Horror flick! Worth a good viewing. Especially if you're a zombie film fan who's looking for something a bit different. (View Trailer HERE!)
Drag Me To Hell - Hell yes!!! Now We're getting somewhere! Unlike the plethora of remakes and slasher films that are plaguing the Horror Movie genre as of late, this Sam Raimi flick takes on an original approach to the genre. If psychos and vampires and ghosts and satanic demons have been overly used in current horror movies, where is a brilliant script writer/director to go? How about a movie about a curse? That hasn't been done in quite a while! And Sam takes on the subject matter with great, ghoulish relish! A cute, young yuppie, bank official, who isn't usually opportunistic denies an elderly gypsy woman a 3rd mortgage on her home. Thus, the elderly woman will probably be kicked out of it. The gypsy woman begs on her knees to Allison Lohman's bank official character for just one shot. With the potential of a promotion at the bank, Lohman's character takes the yuppie, capitalist road and denies her the loan. The gypsie woman puts a curse on the young bank executive and that's when things start to go very bad for Lohman's character. If only stuff like that happened to real life bank officials before the whole downturn of the economy, maybe we wouldn't have the mass unemployment that we do now! Getting back on the subject. Allison Lohman's chacter is haunted by a demon throughout the rest of the film and Raimi pulls out every extravagant gross out, fun filled creepy scene he can think of to do it. Allison Lohmon should win an Oscar just for the mass amount of undead-gross out-bodily fluids that she seems to have to ingest in her mouth throughout the movie! There's also a few really creepy scenes that Raimi has seemingly been influenced and pulled from his classic Evil Dead films of past legend! Sadly there was one big gripe I did have with this movie. The big ending was given away 3/4th of the way through the movie. Even a less than astute viewer knew how the movie was going to end when a less than subliminal clue was given out when.... (Highlight to read if you haven't seen the film yet.)
A character trying to help the girl ward off the curse gives her a coin-like object in a white envelope, JUST LIKE the coin that her boyfriend gives her at the beginning of the movie. Can you guess what items will be mixed up and who will still be doomed at the end of the movie, no matter what?
That kind of put a big damper on what was looking to be a really great horror movie! Nobody does gross out, fun horror like Sam Raimi! And this has real potential, if it wasn't for the give away ending. Still worth a viewing if you're a big fan of of Raimi's Evil Dead films!!!! (View trailer HERE!)
Ok, we're now going to take an undead look-see at a couple of good ol' local Haunted Attractions.....
When my good friend and fellow fan of the macabre, Roberto Del Amorte, found some free time in his recently challenging life, he leaped at the chance to join me in an evening of adventuring into the realms of the dark unknown.
Terror on Rural Street - As usual this is our "go to" haunt. It's become a tradition of the Halloween season. Every year they change things up a bit while reinventing some old effects t be more economically conscience. There was certainly a lot of good effects and rooms and scare-actors to go around. The theme this year was a generic creepy old house and the wonderful facade that greets you once you get in line certainly reflected that image. Once inside we were presented with all of the usual Terror on Rural Street fun we have very year. Yet, nothing entirely different or that sticks in our minds.
Hartford JC's Haunted House. - It didn't start well. After buying our ticket we were sent to wait in a couple of small rooms in a barn with a whole slew of Slinger teenagers who were singing songs at the top of their lungs just to piss off and annoy the other patrons. We left he main room and went to a smaller room where they were showing Alien VS. Predator against one of the walls. We sat there for a while enjoying the movie when the cavalcade of singing tweeners decided to move into our room and ruin the movie for us and others there. I had to wonder if I was ever that retarded when I was that age. I don't recall so. It seems to get worse every year. Kids get more and more obnoxious. Luckily their numbers were called far before ours. Once we started to get some peace and quite, we were ushered into the pre-show tent. The wait there didn't last quite as long and before we knew it, we were on our way through he haunted woods that would lead us up into the haunted farm house. The whole haunt gets better and better every year! This year was no exception. The scare-actors are far more theatrical and well into their rolls than other haunts. And if god wasn't my witness, there was some form of corpse popping out at every turn. All the rooms had very detailed props and scenery. Again these guys inch out Terror on Rural Street as a realy great haunt to visit. If they keep up the advancement that they exceed every year, this could become a real name haunt!!!!! Now a quick video game review.....
Dead Space - The Survival Horror genre of video games has a boat-load of competition since Dead Space hit the shelves over a year ago. I had the privilege of first plying it just recently. It's a 3rd person, over the shoulder shooter with a bunch of survival and RPG mechanics thrown in for good measure. Imaging being an engineer on a space vessel in the distant future who is aboard a ship bound for a derelict space station that has lost all communication and is need of a rescue operation. Once aboard the creepy vessel you're ship is destroyed and you find yourself among morphed and scary versions of the former crew of the derelict vessel. As the story pans out, a large portion of rock that this space station has gutted from the lower planet it is hovering over has brought about some form of evil power that has mutated its crew into god-awful creatures that you have to destroy while trying to bring power back to the station in a bunch of different missions you are put on. This game is every bit as addictive as it can be frustrating! One moment you'll be lovin' life as you blow away spooky, creepy crawly remnants of the former crew members as you build up your character's weapon and armor stats, the next you'll be wanting the throw your controller through the nearest window as you try to get through some ridiculousness that includes missions where you have to sweat through silly timing puzzles and awkward trails to accomplish tasks that won't let you progress in the game unless you succeed. So, as every bit as cool as hell as this game is, it stunts its own growth by putting you in some really outlandish and more than difficult situations where you'll find yourself having to re-spawn and start over after a silly death due to very unfair challenges. Definitely worth checking out if you like survival horror, action or even RPG video games. But don't expect to progress too far without cursing the game at least 5 or 25 times. (View some footage of gameplay action HERE!)
And that about ends it for this week. I'll have a couple more movie reviews and perhaps one more local haunt review for you sometime next weekend to cap off this year's Halloween season. Then I'll have the Type O Negative concert to look forward to. Until next time, Stay Vertical, unless you're lucky enough to be undead.
Zangz.
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