Sinister Jack's

Sinister Jack's
It's that time of year here in my Blog of Geekdom.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

More Dead Stuff.....


Wowzers! We're well into the Halloween season and I'm finally getting to posting a new blog. The past couple of weeks have been jammed packed with exhausting work as well as a good dose of Halloween hi jinx! So I'm going to get right into it with a good dose of what I like to call drive-by horror movie reviews. Quick and sweet, here we go....

Dead Birds - A good Civil War era spook story involving a group of bank robbers hiding out in an old haunted plantation house. Lots of blood, lots of spooks. I liked it! It didn't make it to the big screen in wide release, so fellow horror movie fans need to spread the word.

Ginger Snaps 2 - Nowhere as good as the other two Ginger Snaps movies, probably due to the fact that one of the tow integral roles to these movies was missing throughout most of the flick. A big part of these female werewolf movies was the interaction between the two sisters. When one of them is taken out of much of the script, it loses a lot of it's charm. Still a decent enough story. It was ok.
Perfect Creatures - This flick kind of combines the feel of Equilibrium and the Underworld flicks with a small dose of Metropolis thrown in. However it's nowhere as near action packed as the former two. The story takes place in an alternate 1930's where vampires and humans coexist peacefully, until one vampire starts to give into his bestial nature. A real cool idea and premise for a story, but it drags quite a bit. Another decent movie to check out, just don't expect a whole lot.

Boogeyman - There's nothing new to see here. Boring story, boring spook, and nothing we haven't seen done a lot better in other supernatural thrillers. The cheesy CG'd villain was not worth the rental. Pass on this.

Session-9 - David Caruso heads this impressive ensemble cast that drives this horror thriller. The setting and acting are the foundation of this movie. The viewer is always wondering if this is a tale of ghosts and spooks or of the downward spiral into human madness. A decent enough movie, but don't expect to be too creeped out.
The Grudge 2 - Have you seen the first Grudge flick? Good, then you've also seen this one also. Not much difference. But if you really liked the first one, you'll probably like the second as it's pretty much the same movie. There are some pretty good creepy moments in this one.

Darkness - Another supernatural, haunted house, thriller that doesn't bring anything new to the table. Well shot and well acted, it still doesn't really differentiate itself from other haunted house movies.


On to other spook filled stuff! The last couple of weekends we haunt enthusiasts ventured out and found a few to visit. Here are the reviews...

Glacier Rock Farms, The Dark Side- This one was a haunted mine shaft meets haunted hayride meets haunted trail. We were all really happily surprised at this one. At only $10 a pop we were treated to an hour's worth of haunted delights that may have lacked a bit in pacing and amount of effects, but certainly made up for in fun filled surprises! The Good: The mine shaft (if slightly longer) could have the potential to compete with the more popular haunts! The glowing insects on the hayride were certainly a surprise to my lower extremities. The soundtrack that accompanied the hayride helped with the atmosphere nicely. The Bad: Could have used a lot more scenes. Things were quite barren during the hayride and haunted trail. There was also a major pacing problem after the mine shaft when we had to wait about 20 minutes before the hayride started. But, this little gem of a haunt has a HUGE potential and should be checked out by more haunt fans! Longer bang for your buck also.

Morgan Manor & Morgan's Torment - These are one of the more popular attractions that have a lot of publicity behind them. They're pretty much two haunts in one that you have to pay separately to get into both. Let's start with the good: Excellent actors, excellent sets and excellent effects! Now the bad: Both haunts ($10 each, $20 total) took us only 15 minutes to go through. We were rushed through both of them by the scare-actors. This was a major downfall as there's lots to look at and see throughout the haunts since there's a lot of detail in both. Now if they combined both haunts into one and dropped the price to around $10 to $13 bucks, I don't know if I would have felt quite as jipped.

Fin and Feather's Haunted Woods - Here's another haunt that only cost $10 and still delivered. Though, not much in the length department there was a lot of effort put into this show. The Good: Good actors. Cool pirate ship. Excellent graveyard! The Bad: Clowns. They don't scare, they annoy. Only 15 minutes. Most haunted trails and woods take quite a bit longer to traverse. The Hot: The bartendress who took our tickets. The Creepy: The old drunk at the bar who wanted us to come back after the trail and let him know how we liked it.

Terror on Rural Street - Traditionally we always try to hit this haunt. Last year, after being closed the previous season due to legal drama, it wasn't quite as good as it had been in the past. This year they fully made up for it. This puppy was in full scare swing this year!!! I think this was one of it's best years yet!! The Good: Damn near everything. Among the top of my list, the attic scene, the swamp scene, the actors, the sets and the fact that both of my cohorts got completely soaked in one scene where I made it out slightly moistened. The Bad: Honestly... I got nothin'. This haunt was the one at the top of my list this year. Definitely worth the $10 and 15 minutes to go through.


I think that will be it for haunts this year as next weekend we're taking a bit of a breather from Halloween activities. However, there's a huge Halloween party in the works that will be thrown by my friends Iris Von Beaverhousin and her faithful servant Roberto DelAmorte. Rumors are humming that there may be a special effect or two that is being worked on for the party. I know I've contributed some old fake gravestones I had laying around. This could get interesting.

I already have a costume picked out with a back up costume at the ready should something go ary. I'm going to be a toxic plague victim. I'm hoping no one brings their appetite to the party.


What was that you just asked? What am I listening to right now? Oh, well, It's Nightwish's Dark Passion Play. If you're into Finnish, orchestral, uber-dramatic, epic, Heavy Metal. They're worth checking out!


Hey kids, that's it for this week. I'll check in again before the season's over. Make sure you do something spooky this week.

Zangz.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Amongst the Graves.....



And now for something completely different.....

"He walked to his mother's grave to put flowers on it. It had been a few years since the sickness took her and he was here for his yearly pilgrimage to her grave.

He didn't do it out of duty, he did it out of devout love for the woman who raised him as a single mother. Some would tell him she was dangerously overbearing. But, he knew that she was the one who made him the man he was today.
Though most of the newer plots were in a big area that was in an open field with small gravestones embedded into the ground, his mother's grave was over in a slightly wooded area amongst far older graves. Some dating as far back as the early 1800's. What were once straight white and grey monuments with legible text on them were now neglected, moldy and worn pieces of stone. Many of them were cracked and crooked. The surrounding trees were twistedly shaped into tortured, anguishing angles that were starting to loose their leaves.

It was late in the afternoon and the sun was setting through the crooked trees giving off a quite beautiful atmosphere as he reached the one nice marble, outcast grave that was his mother's.

He laid the bouquet of lilies on top of the grave. They were her favorite and god forbid he not honor her October death without a yearly offering of them.

He knelt down to say a prayer. Within seconds he found himself weeping uncontrollably, laying on top of his mother's resting place. It was then he heard it....

'Stanley.... Stanley, listen to me.'

It was muffled, but it was coming from the very ground underneath him.

'Stop crying you silly mope! Stop being such a Nancy Boy!'

It was his mother! For the love of god! It was his mother!

'Why haven't you killed all of them yet? They still live and walk and talk and don't deserve to be alive! Why have you failed me?"

Who was she talking about? Co-workers? The neighbor's? Politicians? Rosie O'Donnell and those ding-bat's on The View? That guy on the bus who picks his nose like it was no body's business? Who was his mother talking about, Stanley wondered out loud in agonizing cries.

'All of them, Stanley... Every single last one of them!'

Stanley suddenly sobered up his whining.

'Thy will be done, Mother. THY WILL BE DONE!'

With that Stanley left the graveyard with purpose and, for the first time since his mother's death, direction."

See what a couple of pumpkin ale's, free writing and the Halloween season do to me, folks. I don't know where that bit of prose came from, but obviously the season of the dead has it's wonderful grip on me.

So while I'm in the mood, why don't I give you a few more Halloween movie reviews.

Resident Evil & Resident Evil: Apocalypse - These are great if you like a decent mixture of wild action and zombie infestation. There's a lot of ass-kickin' action in these with a good dose of fun filled zombie craziness. Not much on plot and story, though. Again, there's always the Milla Jovovich factor. Not too much of a difference in the first or second. Basically, Milla and groups of others fight off hordes of Zombies that were created by mistakes of corporate greed. Cool enough for a good chuckle. Die hard zombie fans may get slightly more out of these movies than the rest of us. But, I had a good time watching them.
Elvira's Haunted Hills - Not a horror movie, per se, but definitely within the Halloween theme. This "prequel to the first Elvira: Mistress of the Dark movie was kind of a goof-filled romp that is a homage to many of the Hammer Horror movies. Nowhere as good as the first Elvira movie that came out nearly a decade before, but for die hard Elvira fans as well as fans of goofy humor and Hammer Horror films, definitely worth a peek at least. Though, not much more than a peek as a lot of the humor is pretty cheesy and horrible.

Practical Magic - Again, not much of a horror film, but certainly worth of a look see. It is the one and only chick-flick that I will swear by. Why? Three reasons. 1) It involves an undead, evil spirit, 2) Witchcraft galore and 3) both Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman look smokin' hot in this one.

Ginger Snaps - A cool as heck, coming of age, goth chick, werewolf movie! Even though it wasn't a huge budget horror movie, it still has a hell of a lotta charm to it. What happens when two outcast goth chick sisters have to deal with coming of age as well as lycanthropy? Guts fly everywhere... as well as a good dose of storytelling. Though it doesn't have quite the slickness as the werewolf movie, Blood and Chocolate, you care more about the characters here. The acting is pretty good which helps the story move along faster as some of the movie does do a slight bit of dragging. Keep in mind, the movie isn't just about werewolves tearing people apart.

Ginger Snaps Back - A prequel to Ginger Snaps that goes far back into the history of the family of the two Fitzgerald sisters of the first film and explains why lycanthropy is a part of their heritage. This story takes place as in the early 1800's and finds the girls (great ancestors to the sisters of the first film played by the same two actresses) alone in the wilderness trying to find refuge. They come to find shelter in a fort that has only a few surviving soldiers left after nightly raids by packs of werewolves. This is where the fun begins. This one leaned far more toward horror movie rather than coming of age flick. Though it initially got poor reviews, I really liked this one. I found it to be a really good werewolf tale with lots of scares and gore to satiate my inner ghoul. Definitely worth checking out if you're into werewolf lore.

The Decent - Now this puppy delivered!!! It actually starts like a chick flick. A bunch of adventurous women decide to go on a spelunking trip up in the remoteness of the Appalachian Mountins and bond after one of them loses their husband and child in a car wreck. It at first reeks of touchy, feely type drivel. But, you have to be patient as the story telling takes it's vital course. Once the group gets lost in the caves of the mountains you'll feel quite satisfied as this film changes from chick bonding story to all out survival, horror adventure! Apparently there was nothing on the map that mentioned that there might be quite a few half human, half bat, all rabid inbred creatures lurking about the maze-like caves. Suddenly the women have far more to worry about than claustrophobia! A really great modern day horror film! Word to the wise though..(SPOILER: Highlight to read).... It doesn't end on a happy note.

Ok, then, on to the real world....

My friends and I are having a rough time trying to find a Haunted Attraction to go to this weekend. Apparently only 2 or three are open and a few of them are quite a road trip away and one of them, which we've been to a couple of times now, has raised it's admittance fee to about double of what it was last time ($20 bucks for one haunt that doesn't change too much from year to year? Ya gotta be kiddin'). So we're going to pass on that one this year. However, next weekend's picks look far more promising as we'll REALLY be into the Halloween season by then. Maybe we'll find something to do tonight. If not I have a boatload of video games I need to get into ( see last blog post).

I did happen to finish Call of Duty 3 and found it a really great WWII FPS game! There were points in that game where I felt a bit shell shocked after some levels. It hearkened back to a game I played a year or so ago, BLACK. Another great FPS.

That reminds me that the long delayed Halo 3 came out earlier this week to much media and gamer fan fare. Reports from a few people I know who have played the game say it is "AWESOME". I'm going to wait a while as I have numerous games to complete before I venture into the world of Master Chief.
Sunday I start my two-parter Cthulhu game as a player. I'm looking for inspiration to restart the games that I run. Here's hoping I make my first few sanity roles!

I'm going to call it a day here as I have some fall cleaning and Halloween decorating to do.

Until next time... Go spook yerselves silly!

Zangz.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Spook Season has Cometh!!!!!

Well, I can officially attest to it being the Halloween season again! Whooopie! It might not quite be October yet but, the pumpkins are starting to pop up, the Halloween swag is out in the stores, the local Haunted Attractions will be starting up next weekend and the change in the color of the trees is quite noticeable already. I even saw a gaggle of geese flying out of town, trying to escape the coming of the living dead. Animals can sense that crazy kind of stuff, ya know.

And speaking of the living dead, they'll be plenty of it here in my Blog of Geekdom for sure as there will be Haunted House reviews and Horror movie reviews also. I've been catching up with a lot of Horror flicks I've wanted to see through that movie club I belong to. So get ready for the season of the undead!


As some may have noticed, there's been hardly any action on my podcasts since May. This is due to a few reasons. First of all, we decided that rather than having shows where I just blither on like an idiot by myself, there should definitely be more interaction with other people. My Star Wars round table shows were the most popular to date. So we'd like to do shows where I have a guest or two on. Now, getting people to find time to get together to do these shows is quite a challenge. We all have busy lives and scheduling these shows is a bit tougher than you think. Second, the guy who produces these podcasts, "Double A-Man", has been busy with a plethora of projects lately. And thirdly, I've been a lazy bastard! But, I'm hoping to do something soon, so stay tuned. Halloween is coming and me and Roberto may have a show or two coming up!


Speaking of Horror movie reviews, here's a couple quickies to kick the Season of the Dead off here in my Blog of Geekdom!

Dead Silence - In a Horror movie era where there's a definite lack of decent supernatural thrillers that are being replaced by slasher flicks, bordering on torture porn, this creepy little ditty was quite enjoyable. The sense of eeriness is abound as the ghost of an old lady ventriloquist, who can posses her old puppets, haunts a small, run down town, seeking vengeance on all. There's some really great creep out scenes in this one, though, it does get a little cliche at times. Still if you're creeped out by undead puppets and really spooky old ladies, this is one for you!

The Messengers - Another paranormal / supernatural thriller that I really enjoyed! This one is a little more laid back and subdued compared to Dead Silence. What happens when a family who are trying to start thier lives over buy a haunted farm house in the middle of Nowhereville? Madness ensues! Sure, this one was a little slower than other thrillers I've seen, but again, the creepiness was aplenty. It was especially nice to see upcoming actress, Kristen Stewart, work her acting chops in a role I was really impressed with (and not in a creepy old man kind of way). The one and only problem I had with this whole movie was the twist ending that I figured out about 1/3 into the movie (Highlight for spoiler)...
It was an obvious red flag to bring in a character, played by a recognizable actor, into the early part of the movie that at first seems to have no relevance to the plot. He just hangs out a lot. This had me thinking, "Hmmmm.... either he has something to do with the past of this house or producers wanted a name actor in the role for set dressing." I bet on the former of the two and was proven correct.
Otherwise, this was another really good creepfest. Especially for those who like more spookiness than gore.


In more spooky stuff, my participation in the RPG, Call of Cthulhu, is making a triumphant return in a couple of ways. Since it's been a while since I ran a game I'm going to be doing some reconnaissance and try out being a player rather than a game master. I'll be playing with a different group of people than I usually play this game with (which I'll probably get loads of flack about from my player, Iris Von Beaverhousen, in the coming month). It's only two games that I'll play in and then I hope to be reinvigorated to start running new games with my usual group for the winter season.

In more geekish news...

They've finally settled on a name for the next Indiana Jones movie, due this coming May 22nd. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! Yep! Sounds good and pulpy! I've heard some murmurings on the story (Spoilers: Highlight to read again)...
Apparently, since it takes place in 1957, Jones will have no Nazis to tangle with. But there still has to be that cliche military antagonist for him to go at it with. So this time he'll be up against the Soviet army who'll be forcing him to help them find some sort of ancient crystal skull.
Sounds pretty feakin' cool. This will be the ONE summer movie of '08 that I will just have to see!!!

What video games have I been wasting my life away with recently, you may ask? Well I got to the end of Gears of War, but the final boss was impossible to beat. After talking to people who had beaten the game, it was revealed that you have to bee hooked up on-line and be in co-op mode for two people to beat it. My other gripe with this post apocalyptic monster shoot-em-up game was that the single player mode was WAY TOO FRACKIN' SHORT! Visually, it's an awesome game and the game play is excellent! I just wished it delivered in length and didn't have an impossible ending.

A game I just started was Call of Duty 3. Though I've played a few other WWII FPS games, I never have played a COD title. I love it so far! Great graphics and artwork, loads of non stop fire fight action and it's many levels long. So length is NOT a problem here for single players.

I've also just bought a few older games from the used game store. Mercenaries (haven't played yet), Legacy of Kain (haven't played yet) and to keep the Halloween spirit alive, Silent Hill II. What little I played has yet to get to the real creepy parts and I now realize how spoiled I am with the graphics of the Xbox 360, as the graphics for SHII are pretty bleak in comparison. But, it is what it is.

Also in the Halloween spirit, I'm still trogging along with Resident Evil 4. I finally got through that god awful giant fish in the lake scene, now I'm escorting the President's daughter through the creepy, old western European town where cultists and creatures are all over the place. Very Lovecraftian influenced!

Well it's Saturday and I've got games to play, videos to watch, beer to drink. More spookiness to come!

Zangz's out!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Soon... the darkness comes, the dead rise and the Halloween season is upon us!

If ya can't feel it comin', ya got no friggin' soul!

The trees are starting to change color, the stores are starting to put out their Halloween seasonal wares and decorations, and I've been enjoying quite a few Oktoberfests! So far I've tried Bells' Oktoberfest (VERY good! A bit pricey, though.), Capital Brewery's Oktoberfest (Pretty good.), Lakefront Brewery's Oktoberfest (another nice surprise!) and Dogfish Head "Punk"Pumpkin Ale (A wonderful treat that actually tastes like pumpkin pie!!!!). And of course there's the old tried and true Samuel Adams Octoberfest! I still have yet to have a taste of Capital Brewery's Autumnal Fire Tripplebock. That tastes great, but will knock you out! God, I love the fall season!

I have to make this one real short and sweet as I'm over at Mom's to help her move some stuff, but she hasn't arrived yet. So I'm doing a drive-by blog here before she shows up and the work begins.

Later tonight, I'll be enjoying some pizza and some games. Then hopefully a nice cigar by a warm fire.

As for things I have planned here on my blog of geekdom to help celebrate the Season of the Dead, I'll be having a few Haunted House reviews and some horror movie reviews of recent rentals as well.

And if you've been wondering about my podcasts, we took a bit of a summer sabbatical and will return very soon to celebrate Halloween as only Zangz's Pod of Geekdom can do!

That's going to be it for now as I gotta get going. Take care, enjoy the weekend and start to get ready for the coming of the dead, 'cause they sure are getting ready for you. Bwahahahahaha!

Zangz.

Friday, September 07, 2007

The Bloodshed of Last Weekend...

Another week passed, another blog ignored by most of my constituency. Oh well, I'll blog anyway.

Last weekend was a blast. The only minor scrape (more like cut) was Saturday right before a friend of the family's wedding when I was punching another hole into my new belt (that was to small) with a very sharp pen knife. The pen knife slipped and took out a small wedge of my right thumb. It was one of those classic, Zangz's "I DID NOT JUST FRACKIN' DO THAT, DID I?" moments of my life. After much bleeding, band aiding, and medical taping, I went to the wedding with a huge bandaged thumb. I still took time out from the excitement of the wedding and pain of my thumb to have a nice sweet Gurkha stogie with my brother in law. On top of that, it was an open bar. Thumb be damned! I had a good time.

Sunday's festivities brought on pain of a whole different sort when a few close friends were pummeled by light speed water balloons. Both Iris and Roberto ended up with slight bruises during Robhain's (see last blog) water balloon war. Damn good time it was also. Even I got a smack of water filled rubber up the side of my head. Good times.... good times. The evening ended with a fire pit and a nice big assed stogie. This thing was close to a 60 ring gauge. It took an hour and a half to go through... much to the chagrin of the more anal party goers. Bruises, good conversation and a stogie. Another successful Robhain.

Than Monday I traveled back in time when men wore tights, had foppy accents and were prim and proper. No! Not the local Gay Pride Parade. It was the nearby Renaissance Faire. Good food, good ale, good company and chicks in chain mail. Gotta love it! It's great to go somewhere where everyone is kinda on the same page in an imaginative state. Though, a lot of the fantasy driven folk somewhat clashed with the more Ren-historic people. One minute your talking to someone from Queen Elizabeth's court who's explaining what the Queen's royal feast was like, the next your seeing a group of leather clad, sword carrying invaders march throughout the streets with their banner held high as they yell, "Out of our way! Make way for the hordes". There were also people with elven ears on and goth chicks playing harps and other such string instruments. The best thing about Ren Faire is that 75% of the people in costumes don't even work there! I should make it an annual trip there, rather than wait a few years at a time.


Well, the Octoberfests and fall seasonal brews are suddenly hitting the shelves with reckless abandon. Within the last few weeks I've tried a few new Octoberfests and a fun pumpkin ale. On top of all that, there's an ever so slight tease in the color of the trees. Their slowly starting to change color. Not much to notice if you're not looking for it, but it's there. The season of dead comes ever closer!!!! Watch for quite a few horror movie and haunted house reviews coming your way here in the Blog of Geekdom!


I'm outta here. Short but sweet.

Zangz

Friday, August 31, 2007

Jerry will have to take a back seat this weekend....

This is going to be painlessly short as it's the Labor Day weekend and my whole weekend is positively CRAMMED with loads of fun and frolic!!!

It all starts with a huge wedding of the sister of a childhood friend. This friend and I used to run around our neighborhood at night and try and scare the bajeezers out of each other. We called it Spooky Time and would actually set up mysteries for each other to solve. We also pretended to hunt ghosts and monsters like they did on Saturday morning cartoons. That was when we were like 12 years old. Now he's all grown up, has a military career and actually taught at West Point for a spell. And I'm all grown up and I'm still trying to spook people (Just ask my friend Iris about the undead Civil War soldiers buried in her back yard.). So, tomorrow his little sister gets hitched and my family gets to attend. Here's hoping for a open bar.

Then the next day is the infamous ROBHAIN (Samhain+Roberto's B-Day=Robhain!). I've blogged about this a few times before, like here and here and here. Every year it's an absolute blast. Every year someone loses an important body part, every year someone leaves in a huff and every year Roberto gets the shat spoiled out of him! Hmmm... Leaves me to think that maybe I should whip up myself a big shindig this year. You only turn the big 4-0 once. I should put together something special for myself, shouldn't I? Let's see, who'd want to come. Hmmmm? It would probably end up being me, some of my old action figures, my various autographed pictures of actors and actresses from Star Wars and a plastic Halloween skeleton decoration that I have hanging in my bedroom (Somebody, end the pain for me now.)

Then on Labor Day I'm going to the local Ren Fair! Now that's one hell of a geeky way to celebrate Labor Day!!! I wonder if there will be any Trekkies there dressed in the Starfleet uniforms pretending that they're in a Star Trek episode where A) They've found a gateway that allows them to travel back in time. B) They've found a planet that hasn't progressed past the medieval /Renaissance period. C) They've gotten lost in one of the hollo-deck programs. No lie. This is actually a bit of a past time for the more obsessed Trekkie. But, you know what? I think that as odd as that is, I also think it's kind of cool in a counter culture kind of way. And you don't get any more counter culture than going to a Ren Fair dressed as a Klingon Starfleet officer.

So my weekend is booked! I don't even thin I'll even get a peek at the Jerry Lewis Telethon this year. But ,you can bet your sweet a$$ that the weekend will involve a good brewski and cigar or two... or three... or four... probably more like several!

Until next time, stay vertical and enjoy your 3 day weekend.

Zangz.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Got No Game.....

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Saturday, August 18, 2007

Closed Shut are the gates of Oblivion....

"Oh, baby, it's cold outside..."


It is! The temp has dropped about 15 degrees in the last day and there's good healthy chill blowing through my window right now. It is the harkening of wonderfully dark things to come! Can you believe that Halloween season is only a month away? But you say, "Wait a bloody second, Zangz! October is over a month away! How are we that close to Halloween season?" As I've said time and time again, Halloween season starts for me in mid September.


There also seems to be an effort for certain beer companies to bring about the flavor of autumnal goodness a little early this year as I see a few of the Oktoberfests starting to hit store shelves. It's a little early in the season for me to indulge in them. I'm still enjoying some of the more summer quenching pale ales and lighter tasting fare that the summer season always brings. But, rest assured, I'm sure I'll weaken within the next few weeks and start my annual homage to the spicy goodness of Oktoberfests!



On to my main topic, then.

I've finally come to the end of the main quest of the epic, open ended Xbox 360 RPG, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. And though I really enjoyed it, I have to admit, I had a far better time with its predecessor, Elder Scrolls III: Morrorwind.

Oblivion is certainly no slouch what so ever! The fantasy world provided is graphically enchanting. The game play is certainly addictive. The amount of things you can do and choices you can make is unparalleled! Even the voice acting of the AI and NPCs was top-notch. The whole game kept me playing (on and off) for several months.


Where Oblivion disappointed me most was the size of the world you play in. It is reported that the landscape is much larger than the one they created in Morrowind. But, then why did it feel so much smaller? Once you go through a number of quests, whether from the main story line or from one of the many guild challenges, you find that you've covered much of the terrain offered in the game. After which, there aren't many new places to visit or discover.

One of the things that I really look for in a good game is exploring new envirements and traversing around new worlds. I felt that Morrowind seemed to scratch that itch far better than the graphically superior Oblivion. Perhaps that is because Morrowind had far more to offer when it came to major differences in landscapes. Although Oblivion offered differences in the looks of each of the townships, making them very distinctive of one another, the main landscape seemed pretty much the same for the mass majority of it. Sure we have snow covered mountains, but we mostly have grassy hill and small forests...and grassy hill...and small forest...and small forest...and grassy hill. In Morrowind you had grassy hills, small forests, deserts, swamps, beaches, rocky mountains. Every turn brought a totally new landscape making parts of the world more distinctive and easier to travel and explore in.


Again, Oblivion is probably one of the best games I've played on the '360! If I hadn't spent 8 straight months of my life playing Morrowind before playing Oblivion, Oblivion would probably be my favorite game of all time and a completely different experience all together. But in this case, Morrwind squeaks by as my favorite videogame of all time.


Maybe for the next Elder Scrolls game they won't be as obsessed on graphics and decide to utilize more of the game system's power on creating a much larger, more diverse looking world.



Bethesda is already working on another expansive first person perspective RPG that takes place in a post apocalyptic Washington D.C. that won't be coming out for at least another year from now. Hmmmmm....


And speaking of Xbox 360 games, I was over at Roberto DelAmorte's house last night and we got to play a preview of the upcoming Bioshock! This game looks like it's going to bring about a great amalgamation of FPS and survival horror flavors to an already creepy environment... a dilapidated, art deco, undersea city. This is one I may have to pick up.


Ok on to the movie reviews....

After the popularity of The Matrix, a number of post-apocalyptic, futuristic, dystopian martial arts action flicks started to pop up. Within the last couple of weeks, I got caught up on a few.

Equilibrium - How did this little piece of fan-boy wonderment go so unnoticed for so long? Christian Bale is a "Grammaton Cleric" whoes job it is to hunt down humans who show or give in to their emotions. Apparently, after a third world war, political do-gooders decide that emotions are to blame for all the world's ills (What? Not Marilyn Manson or D&D???), so they outlaw them and put a fascist regime that rules by a police state. Slowly but surely Bale's character gives in to his emotions and decides to fight the power. Along with a whole mess of killer gun play, this movie has a cool message behind it. As a society, how far are we willing to let either the politically correct or the puritanical control who we are? I loved this flick and was really happy that I finally got to see it.

UltraViolet - I didn't realize it when I rented this along with Equilibrium, but both movies have the same director... as well as the exact same motif, apparently. This movie also takes place in a post-apocalyptic, dystopia. This time there was a blood plague that turned a majority of humans into what are called "Hemophages" or more simply known as vampires. There is a mass movement by the corrupt government to eradicate them. Of course there is a band of Hemophages that form a resistance and one of their main agents is named Violet and played by Resident Evil star and fan-boy fave, Milla Jovovich. Of course Violet has all types of cool futuristic weaponry as well as an advanced background in martial arts, so one can assume that this has a lot of stylistic action segments and fight scenes. The sets are very Logan's Run-esqe. That's to say that everything is very clean and futuristic looking. A lot of bold, bright colors and minimalistic set pieces ( a lot of it was shot in Bangkok). But, storywise, it's lacking quite a bit when placed up against Equilibrium. But, not a bad rental for a fan-boy like myself. A decent enough treat! Plus, there's always the Milla factor.

AEon Flux - Charlize Theron stars as the futuristic freedom fighter made famous by MTV's old animated short of the same name. After WWIII the human race is relegated to a small closed off city. And, yep, you guessed it. It's in full dystopia mode and is governed by what may be a corrupt dictator and his dynasty. What I liked about this film is that the art direction and effects tried real hard to pay homage to the animated series with a lot of very odd and strange weaponry and futuristic devices that seem to work more organically than mechanically. There's also a plot twist or two that kept the story flowing. The problems I had were that though, they paid homage visually, they seemed to stray away from a lot of the outrageous and sometimes disturbing imagery that made the animated series a cult favorite. I really wanted to see Charlize stick her tongue through someone's ear cavity or do some odd licking of something or someone else. That seemed to be one the main themes of the series, but was noticably absent from the film. Not that I'm into licking, but if you want to stay faithful to the core material..... And on that note, there was a lack of dark humor in the film that the animated show also had a plentiful amount of (every episode ended with Flux's death, pre South Park's Kenny). The movie wasn't horrible and I did get a kick out of seeing Theron in a skin tight, black suit and wedge heel black boots. Worth the rental.

Smokin' Aces - I know what you're saying. Finally a movie that is not set in a futuristic dystopia! This time it is set in modern day Lake Tahoe where a seedy Mafia informant (Jeremy Pivin) is holed up and every crazy-a$$ed hitman and assassin is gunning for his cocaine addled butt. FBI agents Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds are the ones who have to protect the poor sap from the hired guns. The first part of the movie is introducing us to all these outrageous, pulp friendly characters, the second part of this movie is a all out, no holds barred gun fest and the third part of this film screeches the movie to a complete halt as there' a "big plot twist" that sadly ends the movie on a lame, slow note. This movie is ass kickingly cool for the mass majority of it. Sadly, the climax to the film happens about 20 or so minutes before the actual ending. Thus, the cadence of this film is quite off. But I really enjoyed the first 4/5ths of the flick!!!

Let's move on to some fantasy flix, shall we?

Pan's Labyrinth - Sadly, I had missed this when it came to the local art house/independent movie theater near me. But, I picked it up this weekend. I'm a fan of Guillermo del Torro films. I loved Hellboy and Blade II and look forward to seeing The Devil's Backbone, Cronos! I'm still reeling form the viewing of this film. This is a great dark, adult fantasy film. But first you have to get past that fact that it's in Spanish and subtitled. Being a dullard, I'm not a huge fan of subtitles. But, somehow I got past them and really enjoyed this film. Keep in mind that even though it's a fantasy, it's a VERY dark fantasy where not everybody lives happily ever after! I kind of figured that fact out after a scene where a fascist military captain kills a man by smashing his face in with a wine bottle. Oooouuuch!!!! Set towards the ending of the Spanish Civil War in the mid 40's, a young girl finds herself thrust into a very difficult situation as her pregnant mother is getting ready to marry a horrible man who is the captain of a battailian of facist soldiers who are charged with the duty to hunt down any rebel forces in the forested area near where the army's mill encampment is. She seems to escape to a dark imaginary world from the harsh reality of her nasty situation. The story's magic and mythological themes take a backseat to what is going on with the pure brutality of the war crimes of the Spanish Civil War. This, for me, was a bit of a disappointment as all the advertisements and promotions of the film had me believing this was pure fantasy. But, after seeing the film, I understand why the fantastical was a secondary storyline and I can forgive Guillermo for it. What fantasy there is in the movie is done extremely well and really picks up on mythologies of the past. But, again, this is no friendly, happy, children's fairy tale. This is dark as hell!!! And not in the same vein as Blade II. This is where there is some hope at the end of the film, but not without great sacrifice. I liked it, but wouldn't go out and buy the DVD. At the same time, I'm really glad I saw it. I know why Guillermo was nominated for an Oscar for it!

Stardust - I got to see this in the theater last weekend and enjoyed the frell out of it!!!! Based on the Neil Gaimen's fantasy novel, this wonderful love story takes place in a small Victorian England village that is adjacent to an alternate fantasy world where witches, spells and magic are abundant. It is the story of a poor young man (Charlie Cox) who is infatuated with the town's most beautiful girl. She plays him for a fool and tells him that she will choose him as a suitor over the snobby bastage she is about to be engaged to if the young man can get a star from the sky for her. This starts the young man's journey into the parallel fantasy world when a star shoots down form the sky and manifests itself as a beautiful young girl (Claire Danes). Of course every baddie in the parallel world wants her also. The unlawfully beautiful, Michelle Pfieffer plays and evil old hag who can stay young only if she eats the heart of the star. Then there's the wicked prince who can become king of the fantasy realm if he captures the star. There's also Robert De Niro who plays a lightning fisherman captain, who's not quite the rough and tumble airship captain he first seems to be. I absolutely loved this movie. It's everything a fantasy story should be! Adventurous, romantic and just fun as hell!! A lot of people are comparing it to The Princess Bride. I actually liked this better. Princess Bride has an esteemed place in the fantasy film cult status amongst mostly, female fantasy lovers, but I think this one had more for both the guys and girls! I'll defintely be buying this one on DVD when it hits store shelves!!!!

Since I started this blog with song lyrics, I'll end with some also....

"Chocolate Raaaain. Stuck way, way deep inside my soul.
Chocolate Raaaain. Dear sweet god, its taken its toll.
Chocolate Raaaain. On YouTube I did hear it last night.
Chocolate Raaaain. It's power of great evil I must stand up and fight.
Chocolate Raaaain. Like the space worm from Wrath of Kahn ,its inside my brian.
Chocolate Raaaain. In there it laying eggs and is ingrained."

Thanks Roberto, for showing me that firggin YouTube video! Now I can't get it out of my frackin' mind!!!!

Chocolate Zangz.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Holy Moses, I'm really getting my money's worth with the on-line movie rental club!

Another week done, another cigar smoked and another blog posted.

Even though I'm filled with meat, cheese and beer from the night before (Thanks, Iris and Roberto!), let's get right on into more of my mindless movie reviews, shall we? There's a bunch of 'em. Here goes....

Seraphim Falls - This was a real treat that I wasn't expecting. Though not as fast paced as most Western thrillers, this little beauty delivered on a few levels. First the performances by leads Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson are top notch. Though, there is not all that much dialog in the film, they both exude the trials, anger, frustration and desperation of the situation that their characters have put themselves in. What action there is in the movie is pretty cool and brutal. Another plus is that it's always great to see actor, Michael Wincott perform. I've loved watching him since he played main baddie, Top Dollar in The Crow. This is a very decent post Civil War, cat and mouse, Western thriller where themes of guilt, revenge, retribution and forgiveness really shine through. Definitely a DVD to pick up at the store.

The Hitcher (2007 remake) - One cannot help but compare and contrast with the original 1980's road thriller that stared the always spooky Rutger Hauer as the vile and dangerous psychopath who stalks two youths on the barren highways of the west. In the current version Sean Bean portrays the whack job who makes the lives of a college couple a living hell. Now, I love Sean Bean. I find him great in everything he does. And he does and darn good job in this! But, I found Hauer's serial killer slightly more disturbing than Bean's. Bean's killer is certifiably nutters. But, Hauer's killer was balls-out scarier. He really scared the cheese outta me! Bean's character just pissed me off. I really cheered at the end when he got What he got coming! The original was slightly ahead of it's time and led the way for more cat and mouse horror thrillers to plop out onto the screens for the last 20 years. This newer version just follows the trend with slightly more 21st century trappings. But, definitely worth the rental.

Eragon - Have you seen Star Wars? Good. Have you see The Lord of the Rings movies? Good. Have you seen Harry Potter? Good. Guess what, you've seen Eragon. The sword and sorcery fantasy movie revolving around a boy and his dragon delivers nothing new to the genre AT ALL! Everything in this movie has been said and done before. Young farm boy finds that he is destined to be a heroic savior, and with the tutelage of an older, forgotten warrior, he will save the beautiful princess as well as the land from an evil king and his diabolical mage sidekick . It should be mentioned that I did enjoy Robert Carlyle and Jeremy Iron's performances, but its... Been there before-seen it-done it-got the T-shirt-enjoyed Joss Stone's guest appearance. That's about it. Rent it for the kids.

Ok, a couple of horror movies to boot....

House of Wax (2007 remake) - This movie took on the theme of Vincent Price's original, but the story was much more like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The town of wax and wax townsfolk that the killer(s) built was all pretty creepy, but it just dumbed itself down as a typical teenage slasher flick. And as for the teenagers, you'll hate them all for being such a shallow bunch of dolts that you'll feel no remorse when most of them come to violent ends. The best part of this movie is watching Paris Hilton's character get a lead pipe through her head. Otherwise... feh. Not much to write home about. Rent it if you're a die hard horror/slasher movie fanatic. Otherwise, let it lie lifeless as a wax statue.

May - This odd little indie horror movie didn't exactly deliver what I look for in a good horror movie, but it will fill a niche with independent film lovers that have a very high tolerance for lots of character development and dialogue. May is a socially inept young woman with a lazy eye who's only true friend is a spooky doll her overprotective mother gave her as a child. Suffice it to say, she doesn't really deal too well in social situations. Once she starts to get out there in the world and develops a crush on a guy is when things start to go haywire. Even though actress Agela Bettis does an excellent job portraying the odd and awkward May, the movie waits until the very end to bring on the horror and darkness of the story. As viewers, we see small hints of things to come, but we have to wait until the end of the movie for the real frightening stuff. In some horror circles this movie has a decent sized cult following. I guess if you like really dark comedies this might be up your alley. If you're a die hard horror fan, you'll be a bit disappointed. Rent it and decide for yourselves.

Slither - Now this one is the best of the bunch (w/ Seraphim coming a very close second!). What happens to a town of hicks when an alien meteor lands nearby and "bonds" with the local rich A-hole? I'll tell you what happens. A wonderful bunch of sloppy, fleshy, inflated, tentacled, zombiefied, wormy goodness ensues!!! This flick stars fan-boy fave Nathon Fillion (Firefly!) as their local sheriff of a town plagued with alien worms and zombies! Lots of goofy fun gore is present constantly. A good, fun horror comedy! Definitely make time to rent it!


Not too much else going on lately. I'll be seeing Stardust tonight. So, I'll probably have a review of that next time as well as a some more flicks I'm seeing this weekend. So there's that you can wait for with baited breath until next week some time.

I'm off to watch more movies and have some grub.

Zangz.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

A Good Stogie Amongst the Dead!

Guess what I did last night. I did something that touched upon nearly every pleasure zone I have (Nope. Sadly, not that one.)


Me and my brother-in-law went to a very old Gothic graveyard during the blood red moon and smoked a couple of Gurkha's. So, not only was I amongst a very creepy and quite peaceful atmosphere, I was also enjoying a smooth toke on a very nice cigar! All was right with the world.

Watching the blood red moon rise up over the Gothic chapel and mausoleums was a spectacularly spooky treat!

Sadly, there were no strange glowing mists, no odd shadow movements and no odd voices moaning out into the night. No undead buffoonery what so ever. Oh well. We have a couple more months before October. Maybe they're saving up!


It's gunna blow dead goat nards if the nasty law makers hit us cigar smokers with a huge increase in tobaco tax just to get at the cigarette smokers.


Speaking of good, relaxing pastimes under fire. There seems to be an evil plot brewing by beaurauecratic law makers involving a hefty beer tax. My friend Spanky goes at it in his blog here.
Why must everything fun and joyfull be crushed by self-rightous do-gooders?!?!


In other news, I promised you a review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I finally got to see with my sister, Dizzy Lizzie, on Monday night. If you need any preliminary info on my feelings toward the Harry Potter movement, check out my last post. Otherwise, Here we go.....

  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - I'm finding that with each new movie of the Harry Potter series, we tend to fall ever so slightly into the abyss of darkness. Order of the Phoenix follows this wonderful trend. We used to see Harry arrive at Hogwarts and get filled up with tons of free cookies, candies and cakes while silly wizardry surrounded the teachings of the school for young magic users ("Look Harry, here comes Professor Dinkledork with his magic Teddy Bear that gives out special hugs." .....that didn't actually happen in any of the movies/books. I was just trying to be a wise-a$$. So settle the frack down, Harry Potter fans!). But, now we're at a point where Harry is old enough to forgo the treats and wonderful child-like surprises and be enveloped in a world of evil and loss. The scene that made the movie for me was the wizard battle at the climax. It was very reminiscent to the Jedi going to battle on Geonosis against the Trade Federation armies. It also hearkened back for me visions to Gandolf and Sauramon going at it in LOTR: TFOTR (I really don't want to write that all out). It could have lasted quite a bit longer. I also immensely enjoyed the role of Sirius Black, played masterfully by god-like thespian (and personal fave) Gary Oldman. Two small gripes. Why is it that EVERY Harry Potter book/movie always has the plot "twist" of some new teacher coming to Hogwarts who either has an evil agenda or is in cahoots with the bad guys. It's getting old, stale and since we're into the 5th movie, quite predictable. C'mon, J.K. Let's try something new (like bathing nude in a hot tub filled with money). Then there's the even smaller gripe that, according to my Harry Potter friends, quite a lot of the book is taken out of the movie. I suppose they have to make these movies far more cohesive for the short attention span of a movie audience. But, I worry that those of us who haven't read the books are missing out on some important pieces in the Potter Mythose. All in all. I did really enjoy Order of the Phoenix. And maybe one of these days I'll start collecting the movies on DVD.
Speaking of DVDs! Guess what I got today. The movie 300!!!! Now before those of you cursed with the ideology that this movie about ancient Spartans fighting off the Persian army is some sort of diabolical plot by the Bush administration to brainwash us into believing that the war in Iraq is justified. Just rent the thing and watch it for what it is... an excellent adaptation of Frank Miller's wonderful, and violent graphic novel (which was released years before the war in Iraq).
I'm not saying the war is justified, I'm just saying that sometimes we need to take off our socio-politically biased glasses and just enjoy things and forgo our chosen tunnel vision. Get yourselves out of your Rosie O'Donnel / Bill O' Reiley modes, won't you?


One more quickie thing. You want to view and read about something most disturbing? This was found by my good freind Roberto DelAmorte. Enjoy. Click HERE!


I think that's all for now. We'll talk soon.

Zangz.