Jerry will have to take a back seat this weekend....

This is going to be painlessly short as it's the Labor Day weekend and my whole weekend is positively CRAMMED with loads of fun and frolic!!!

It all starts with a huge wedding of the sister of a childhood friend. This friend and I used to run around our neighborhood at night and try and scare the bajeezers out of each other. We called it Spooky Time and would actually set up mysteries for each other to solve. We also pretended to hunt ghosts and monsters like they did on Saturday morning cartoons. That was when we were like 12 years old. Now he's all grown up, has a military career and actually taught at West Point for a spell. And I'm all grown up and I'm still trying to spook people (Just ask my friend Iris about the undead Civil War soldiers buried in her back yard.). So, tomorrow his little sister gets hitched and my family gets to attend. Here's hoping for a open bar.

Then the next day is the infamous ROBHAIN (Samhain+Roberto's B-Day=Robhain!). I've blogged about this a few times before, like here and here and here. Every year it's an absolute blast. Every year someone loses an important body part, every year someone leaves in a huff and every year Roberto gets the shat spoiled out of him! Hmmm... Leaves me to think that maybe I should whip up myself a big shindig this year. You only turn the big 4-0 once. I should put together something special for myself, shouldn't I? Let's see, who'd want to come. Hmmmm? It would probably end up being me, some of my old action figures, my various autographed pictures of actors and actresses from Star Wars and a plastic Halloween skeleton decoration that I have hanging in my bedroom (Somebody, end the pain for me now.)

Then on Labor Day I'm going to the local Ren Fair! Now that's one hell of a geeky way to celebrate Labor Day!!! I wonder if there will be any Trekkies there dressed in the Starfleet uniforms pretending that they're in a Star Trek episode where A) They've found a gateway that allows them to travel back in time. B) They've found a planet that hasn't progressed past the medieval /Renaissance period. C) They've gotten lost in one of the hollo-deck programs. No lie. This is actually a bit of a past time for the more obsessed Trekkie. But, you know what? I think that as odd as that is, I also think it's kind of cool in a counter culture kind of way. And you don't get any more counter culture than going to a Ren Fair dressed as a Klingon Starfleet officer.

So my weekend is booked! I don't even thin I'll even get a peek at the Jerry Lewis Telethon this year. But ,you can bet your sweet a$$ that the weekend will involve a good brewski and cigar or two... or three... or four... probably more like several!

Until next time, stay vertical and enjoy your 3 day weekend.

Zangz.

Got No Game.....

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Closed Shut are the gates of Oblivion....

"Oh, baby, it's cold outside..."


It is! The temp has dropped about 15 degrees in the last day and there's good healthy chill blowing through my window right now. It is the harkening of wonderfully dark things to come! Can you believe that Halloween season is only a month away? But you say, "Wait a bloody second, Zangz! October is over a month away! How are we that close to Halloween season?" As I've said time and time again, Halloween season starts for me in mid September.


There also seems to be an effort for certain beer companies to bring about the flavor of autumnal goodness a little early this year as I see a few of the Oktoberfests starting to hit store shelves. It's a little early in the season for me to indulge in them. I'm still enjoying some of the more summer quenching pale ales and lighter tasting fare that the summer season always brings. But, rest assured, I'm sure I'll weaken within the next few weeks and start my annual homage to the spicy goodness of Oktoberfests!



On to my main topic, then.

I've finally come to the end of the main quest of the epic, open ended Xbox 360 RPG, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. And though I really enjoyed it, I have to admit, I had a far better time with its predecessor, Elder Scrolls III: Morrorwind.

Oblivion is certainly no slouch what so ever! The fantasy world provided is graphically enchanting. The game play is certainly addictive. The amount of things you can do and choices you can make is unparalleled! Even the voice acting of the AI and NPCs was top-notch. The whole game kept me playing (on and off) for several months.


Where Oblivion disappointed me most was the size of the world you play in. It is reported that the landscape is much larger than the one they created in Morrowind. But, then why did it feel so much smaller? Once you go through a number of quests, whether from the main story line or from one of the many guild challenges, you find that you've covered much of the terrain offered in the game. After which, there aren't many new places to visit or discover.

One of the things that I really look for in a good game is exploring new envirements and traversing around new worlds. I felt that Morrowind seemed to scratch that itch far better than the graphically superior Oblivion. Perhaps that is because Morrowind had far more to offer when it came to major differences in landscapes. Although Oblivion offered differences in the looks of each of the townships, making them very distinctive of one another, the main landscape seemed pretty much the same for the mass majority of it. Sure we have snow covered mountains, but we mostly have grassy hill and small forests...and grassy hill...and small forest...and small forest...and grassy hill. In Morrowind you had grassy hills, small forests, deserts, swamps, beaches, rocky mountains. Every turn brought a totally new landscape making parts of the world more distinctive and easier to travel and explore in.


Again, Oblivion is probably one of the best games I've played on the '360! If I hadn't spent 8 straight months of my life playing Morrowind before playing Oblivion, Oblivion would probably be my favorite game of all time and a completely different experience all together. But in this case, Morrwind squeaks by as my favorite videogame of all time.


Maybe for the next Elder Scrolls game they won't be as obsessed on graphics and decide to utilize more of the game system's power on creating a much larger, more diverse looking world.



Bethesda is already working on another expansive first person perspective RPG that takes place in a post apocalyptic Washington D.C. that won't be coming out for at least another year from now. Hmmmmm....


And speaking of Xbox 360 games, I was over at Roberto DelAmorte's house last night and we got to play a preview of the upcoming Bioshock! This game looks like it's going to bring about a great amalgamation of FPS and survival horror flavors to an already creepy environment... a dilapidated, art deco, undersea city. This is one I may have to pick up.


Ok on to the movie reviews....

After the popularity of The Matrix, a number of post-apocalyptic, futuristic, dystopian martial arts action flicks started to pop up. Within the last couple of weeks, I got caught up on a few.

Equilibrium - How did this little piece of fan-boy wonderment go so unnoticed for so long? Christian Bale is a "Grammaton Cleric" whoes job it is to hunt down humans who show or give in to their emotions. Apparently, after a third world war, political do-gooders decide that emotions are to blame for all the world's ills (What? Not Marilyn Manson or D&D???), so they outlaw them and put a fascist regime that rules by a police state. Slowly but surely Bale's character gives in to his emotions and decides to fight the power. Along with a whole mess of killer gun play, this movie has a cool message behind it. As a society, how far are we willing to let either the politically correct or the puritanical control who we are? I loved this flick and was really happy that I finally got to see it.

UltraViolet - I didn't realize it when I rented this along with Equilibrium, but both movies have the same director... as well as the exact same motif, apparently. This movie also takes place in a post-apocalyptic, dystopia. This time there was a blood plague that turned a majority of humans into what are called "Hemophages" or more simply known as vampires. There is a mass movement by the corrupt government to eradicate them. Of course there is a band of Hemophages that form a resistance and one of their main agents is named Violet and played by Resident Evil star and fan-boy fave, Milla Jovovich. Of course Violet has all types of cool futuristic weaponry as well as an advanced background in martial arts, so one can assume that this has a lot of stylistic action segments and fight scenes. The sets are very Logan's Run-esqe. That's to say that everything is very clean and futuristic looking. A lot of bold, bright colors and minimalistic set pieces ( a lot of it was shot in Bangkok). But, storywise, it's lacking quite a bit when placed up against Equilibrium. But, not a bad rental for a fan-boy like myself. A decent enough treat! Plus, there's always the Milla factor.

AEon Flux - Charlize Theron stars as the futuristic freedom fighter made famous by MTV's old animated short of the same name. After WWIII the human race is relegated to a small closed off city. And, yep, you guessed it. It's in full dystopia mode and is governed by what may be a corrupt dictator and his dynasty. What I liked about this film is that the art direction and effects tried real hard to pay homage to the animated series with a lot of very odd and strange weaponry and futuristic devices that seem to work more organically than mechanically. There's also a plot twist or two that kept the story flowing. The problems I had were that though, they paid homage visually, they seemed to stray away from a lot of the outrageous and sometimes disturbing imagery that made the animated series a cult favorite. I really wanted to see Charlize stick her tongue through someone's ear cavity or do some odd licking of something or someone else. That seemed to be one the main themes of the series, but was noticably absent from the film. Not that I'm into licking, but if you want to stay faithful to the core material..... And on that note, there was a lack of dark humor in the film that the animated show also had a plentiful amount of (every episode ended with Flux's death, pre South Park's Kenny). The movie wasn't horrible and I did get a kick out of seeing Theron in a skin tight, black suit and wedge heel black boots. Worth the rental.

Smokin' Aces - I know what you're saying. Finally a movie that is not set in a futuristic dystopia! This time it is set in modern day Lake Tahoe where a seedy Mafia informant (Jeremy Pivin) is holed up and every crazy-a$$ed hitman and assassin is gunning for his cocaine addled butt. FBI agents Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds are the ones who have to protect the poor sap from the hired guns. The first part of the movie is introducing us to all these outrageous, pulp friendly characters, the second part of this movie is a all out, no holds barred gun fest and the third part of this film screeches the movie to a complete halt as there' a "big plot twist" that sadly ends the movie on a lame, slow note. This movie is ass kickingly cool for the mass majority of it. Sadly, the climax to the film happens about 20 or so minutes before the actual ending. Thus, the cadence of this film is quite off. But I really enjoyed the first 4/5ths of the flick!!!

Let's move on to some fantasy flix, shall we?

Pan's Labyrinth - Sadly, I had missed this when it came to the local art house/independent movie theater near me. But, I picked it up this weekend. I'm a fan of Guillermo del Torro films. I loved Hellboy and Blade II and look forward to seeing The Devil's Backbone, Cronos! I'm still reeling form the viewing of this film. This is a great dark, adult fantasy film. But first you have to get past that fact that it's in Spanish and subtitled. Being a dullard, I'm not a huge fan of subtitles. But, somehow I got past them and really enjoyed this film. Keep in mind that even though it's a fantasy, it's a VERY dark fantasy where not everybody lives happily ever after! I kind of figured that fact out after a scene where a fascist military captain kills a man by smashing his face in with a wine bottle. Oooouuuch!!!! Set towards the ending of the Spanish Civil War in the mid 40's, a young girl finds herself thrust into a very difficult situation as her pregnant mother is getting ready to marry a horrible man who is the captain of a battailian of facist soldiers who are charged with the duty to hunt down any rebel forces in the forested area near where the army's mill encampment is. She seems to escape to a dark imaginary world from the harsh reality of her nasty situation. The story's magic and mythological themes take a backseat to what is going on with the pure brutality of the war crimes of the Spanish Civil War. This, for me, was a bit of a disappointment as all the advertisements and promotions of the film had me believing this was pure fantasy. But, after seeing the film, I understand why the fantastical was a secondary storyline and I can forgive Guillermo for it. What fantasy there is in the movie is done extremely well and really picks up on mythologies of the past. But, again, this is no friendly, happy, children's fairy tale. This is dark as hell!!! And not in the same vein as Blade II. This is where there is some hope at the end of the film, but not without great sacrifice. I liked it, but wouldn't go out and buy the DVD. At the same time, I'm really glad I saw it. I know why Guillermo was nominated for an Oscar for it!

Stardust - I got to see this in the theater last weekend and enjoyed the frell out of it!!!! Based on the Neil Gaimen's fantasy novel, this wonderful love story takes place in a small Victorian England village that is adjacent to an alternate fantasy world where witches, spells and magic are abundant. It is the story of a poor young man (Charlie Cox) who is infatuated with the town's most beautiful girl. She plays him for a fool and tells him that she will choose him as a suitor over the snobby bastage she is about to be engaged to if the young man can get a star from the sky for her. This starts the young man's journey into the parallel fantasy world when a star shoots down form the sky and manifests itself as a beautiful young girl (Claire Danes). Of course every baddie in the parallel world wants her also. The unlawfully beautiful, Michelle Pfieffer plays and evil old hag who can stay young only if she eats the heart of the star. Then there's the wicked prince who can become king of the fantasy realm if he captures the star. There's also Robert De Niro who plays a lightning fisherman captain, who's not quite the rough and tumble airship captain he first seems to be. I absolutely loved this movie. It's everything a fantasy story should be! Adventurous, romantic and just fun as hell!! A lot of people are comparing it to The Princess Bride. I actually liked this better. Princess Bride has an esteemed place in the fantasy film cult status amongst mostly, female fantasy lovers, but I think this one had more for both the guys and girls! I'll defintely be buying this one on DVD when it hits store shelves!!!!

Since I started this blog with song lyrics, I'll end with some also....

"Chocolate Raaaain. Stuck way, way deep inside my soul.
Chocolate Raaaain. Dear sweet god, its taken its toll.
Chocolate Raaaain. On YouTube I did hear it last night.
Chocolate Raaaain. It's power of great evil I must stand up and fight.
Chocolate Raaaain. Like the space worm from Wrath of Kahn ,its inside my brian.
Chocolate Raaaain. In there it laying eggs and is ingrained."

Thanks Roberto, for showing me that firggin YouTube video! Now I can't get it out of my frackin' mind!!!!

Chocolate Zangz.

Holy Moses, I'm really getting my money's worth with the on-line movie rental club!

Another week done, another cigar smoked and another blog posted.

Even though I'm filled with meat, cheese and beer from the night before (Thanks, Iris and Roberto!), let's get right on into more of my mindless movie reviews, shall we? There's a bunch of 'em. Here goes....

Seraphim Falls - This was a real treat that I wasn't expecting. Though not as fast paced as most Western thrillers, this little beauty delivered on a few levels. First the performances by leads Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson are top notch. Though, there is not all that much dialog in the film, they both exude the trials, anger, frustration and desperation of the situation that their characters have put themselves in. What action there is in the movie is pretty cool and brutal. Another plus is that it's always great to see actor, Michael Wincott perform. I've loved watching him since he played main baddie, Top Dollar in The Crow. This is a very decent post Civil War, cat and mouse, Western thriller where themes of guilt, revenge, retribution and forgiveness really shine through. Definitely a DVD to pick up at the store.

The Hitcher (2007 remake) - One cannot help but compare and contrast with the original 1980's road thriller that stared the always spooky Rutger Hauer as the vile and dangerous psychopath who stalks two youths on the barren highways of the west. In the current version Sean Bean portrays the whack job who makes the lives of a college couple a living hell. Now, I love Sean Bean. I find him great in everything he does. And he does and darn good job in this! But, I found Hauer's serial killer slightly more disturbing than Bean's. Bean's killer is certifiably nutters. But, Hauer's killer was balls-out scarier. He really scared the cheese outta me! Bean's character just pissed me off. I really cheered at the end when he got What he got coming! The original was slightly ahead of it's time and led the way for more cat and mouse horror thrillers to plop out onto the screens for the last 20 years. This newer version just follows the trend with slightly more 21st century trappings. But, definitely worth the rental.

Eragon - Have you seen Star Wars? Good. Have you see The Lord of the Rings movies? Good. Have you seen Harry Potter? Good. Guess what, you've seen Eragon. The sword and sorcery fantasy movie revolving around a boy and his dragon delivers nothing new to the genre AT ALL! Everything in this movie has been said and done before. Young farm boy finds that he is destined to be a heroic savior, and with the tutelage of an older, forgotten warrior, he will save the beautiful princess as well as the land from an evil king and his diabolical mage sidekick . It should be mentioned that I did enjoy Robert Carlyle and Jeremy Iron's performances, but its... Been there before-seen it-done it-got the T-shirt-enjoyed Joss Stone's guest appearance. That's about it. Rent it for the kids.

Ok, a couple of horror movies to boot....

House of Wax (2007 remake) - This movie took on the theme of Vincent Price's original, but the story was much more like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The town of wax and wax townsfolk that the killer(s) built was all pretty creepy, but it just dumbed itself down as a typical teenage slasher flick. And as for the teenagers, you'll hate them all for being such a shallow bunch of dolts that you'll feel no remorse when most of them come to violent ends. The best part of this movie is watching Paris Hilton's character get a lead pipe through her head. Otherwise... feh. Not much to write home about. Rent it if you're a die hard horror/slasher movie fanatic. Otherwise, let it lie lifeless as a wax statue.

May - This odd little indie horror movie didn't exactly deliver what I look for in a good horror movie, but it will fill a niche with independent film lovers that have a very high tolerance for lots of character development and dialogue. May is a socially inept young woman with a lazy eye who's only true friend is a spooky doll her overprotective mother gave her as a child. Suffice it to say, she doesn't really deal too well in social situations. Once she starts to get out there in the world and develops a crush on a guy is when things start to go haywire. Even though actress Agela Bettis does an excellent job portraying the odd and awkward May, the movie waits until the very end to bring on the horror and darkness of the story. As viewers, we see small hints of things to come, but we have to wait until the end of the movie for the real frightening stuff. In some horror circles this movie has a decent sized cult following. I guess if you like really dark comedies this might be up your alley. If you're a die hard horror fan, you'll be a bit disappointed. Rent it and decide for yourselves.

Slither - Now this one is the best of the bunch (w/ Seraphim coming a very close second!). What happens to a town of hicks when an alien meteor lands nearby and "bonds" with the local rich A-hole? I'll tell you what happens. A wonderful bunch of sloppy, fleshy, inflated, tentacled, zombiefied, wormy goodness ensues!!! This flick stars fan-boy fave Nathon Fillion (Firefly!) as their local sheriff of a town plagued with alien worms and zombies! Lots of goofy fun gore is present constantly. A good, fun horror comedy! Definitely make time to rent it!


Not too much else going on lately. I'll be seeing Stardust tonight. So, I'll probably have a review of that next time as well as a some more flicks I'm seeing this weekend. So there's that you can wait for with baited breath until next week some time.

I'm off to watch more movies and have some grub.

Zangz.

A Good Stogie Amongst the Dead!

Guess what I did last night. I did something that touched upon nearly every pleasure zone I have (Nope. Sadly, not that one.)


Me and my brother-in-law went to a very old Gothic graveyard during the blood red moon and smoked a couple of Gurkha's. So, not only was I amongst a very creepy and quite peaceful atmosphere, I was also enjoying a smooth toke on a very nice cigar! All was right with the world.

Watching the blood red moon rise up over the Gothic chapel and mausoleums was a spectacularly spooky treat!

Sadly, there were no strange glowing mists, no odd shadow movements and no odd voices moaning out into the night. No undead buffoonery what so ever. Oh well. We have a couple more months before October. Maybe they're saving up!

It's gunna blow dead goat nards if the nasty law makers hit us cigar smokers with a huge increase in tobaco tax just to get at the cigarette smokers.

Speaking of good, relaxing pastimes under fire. There seems to be an evil plot brewing by beaurauecratic law makers involving a hefty beer tax. My friend Spanky goes at it in his blog here.

Why must everything fun and joyfull be crushed by self-rightous do-gooders?!?!

In other news, I promised you a review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which I finally got to see with my sister, Dizzy Lizzie, on Monday night. If you need any preliminary info on my feelings toward the Harry Potter movement, check out my last post. Otherwise, Here we go.....

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - I'm finding that with each new movie of the Harry Potter series, we tend to fall ever so slightly into the abyss of darkness. Order of the Phoenix follows this wonderful trend. We used to see Harry arrive at Hogwarts and get filled up with tons of free cookies, candies and cakes while silly wizardry surrounded the teachings of the school for young magic users ("Look Harry, here comes Professor Dinkledork with his magic Teddy Bear that gives out special hugs." .....that didn't actually happen in any of the movies/books. I was just trying to be a wise-a$$. So settle the frack down, Harry Potter fans!). But, now we're at a point where Harry is old enough to forgo the treats and wonderful child-like surprises and be enveloped in a world of evil and loss. The scene that made the movie for me was the wizard battle at the climax. It was very reminiscent to the Jedi going to battle on Geonosis against the Trade Federation armies. It also hearkened back for me visions to Gandolf and Sauramon going at it in LOTR: TFOTR (I really don't want to write that all out). It could have lasted quite a bit longer. I also immensely enjoyed the role of Sirius Black, played masterfully by god-like thespian (and personal fave) Gary Oldman. Two small gripes. Why is it that EVERY Harry Potter book/movie always has the plot "twist" of some new teacher coming to Hogwarts who either has an evil agenda or is in cahoots with the bad guys. It's getting old, stale and since we're into the 5th movie, quite predictable. C'mon, J.K. Let's try something new (like bathing nude in a hot tub filled with money). Then there's the even smaller gripe that, according to my Harry Potter friends, quite a lot of the book is taken out of the movie. I suppose they have to make these movies far more cohesive for the short attention span of a movie audience. But, I worry that those of us who haven't read the books are missing out on some important pieces in the Potter Mythose. All in all. I did really enjoy Order of the Phoenix. And maybe one of these days I'll start collecting the movies on DVD.

Speaking of DVDs! Guess what I got today. The movie 300!!!! Now before those of you cursed with the ideology that this movie about ancient Spartans fighting off the Persian army is some sort of diabolical plot by the Bush administration to brainwash us into believing that the war in Iraq is justified. Just rent the thing and watch it for what it is... an excellent adaptation of Frank Miller's wonderful, and violent graphic novel (which was released years before the war in Iraq).

I'm not saying the war is justified, I'm just saying that sometimes we need to take off our socio-politically biased glasses and just enjoy things and forgo our chosen tunnel vision. Get yourselves out of your Rosie O'Donnel / Bill O' Reiley modes, won't you?

One more quickie thing. You want to view and read about something most disturbing? This was found by my good freind Roberto DelAmorte. Enjoy. Click HERE!

I think that's all for now. We'll talk soon.

Zangz.