I recently got slapped by a B-flick.

....And I liked it. In fact, I think I would like to be slapped around some more. A couple of good slappings upside my geek head could probably do me some good.

Now how does this all sound to you?.......

Insanely beautiful women. Explosions. Fifteen minute long cat fights. Bloodshed. Explosions. Firearms. Martial Arts. Lots of tight clothes. A water fight you wouldn't believe. Explosions.

How can these words not appeal to the male geek psyche? Well, I'll tell ya. A couple of filmakers put together a sweet little show that has all of that and more within it. I speak of a motion picture that slipped under the cracks, but has emerged triumphantly upon video.

It is the wonderment that is BITCH SLAP!

This movie will not be laden with accolades amongst critics or be heralded as a great, geek genre masterpiece along the lines of Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction. There will be no best actor or actress Oscars handed out.

But what Bitch Slap does have going for it is the fact that it is a totally, in your face and unapologetically great big over the top Grade "B" action flick.

Bitch Slap is the tale of how three women (Hel, Trixie and Camero) come upon what they believe is the location of a hidden cache of "treasure" buried out in the desert. Each of them have a mysterious checkered past that are slowly revealed throughout the film.

When I first popped this bad boy into the ol' '360 I wasn't expecting too much. In fact I was expecting some horrible flick that was shot on a video camera in somebody's garage and backyard. But the production quality is pretty top notch as they make very good use of the green screen method to use as virtual sets that come out looking quite fantastic and lend to the over the top feel to the whole film.

Ok folks, here's the part of the review where I let my lonely geek-freak flag fly quite high. While in that process, I'll also be making myself quite vulnerable to restraining orders.

To put it simply, the three female leads are quite smoking hot! A fact that the producers, director and writers certainly exploited to the fullest extent. They put these girls in situations that will have the lesser man running to the bottle of Jurgens that's kept hidden behind the sofa..... in most homes....... or so I hear. Ehem.

If you're looking for a big nudity-fest, you won't find it here. Bitch Slap keeps it somewhat classy by not reverting to cheap boob shots.

Even though the movie subversively makes fun of itself for being so over the top, it still succeeds in having a bit of a twist at the ending.

Another attribute about this flick that I wanted to mention to the geek nation out there on the inter-web is that if you happen to be an old fan of the Xena or Hercules shows, you'll have a vested interest in this movie. Many familiar faces from those shows have smaller roles and cameo appearances in the movie. You'll get to see a lot of them in the documentary about the making of Bitch Slap which is in the extras section of the DVD. The documentary is just as fun, and long, as the movie itself.

Again, if you're in the mood for some outlandish action with three beautiful women in a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously, then this is a movie you'll want to take a peek at.


In other geeky endeavors....

You'll notice that this blog is a little more active than it's been throughout the winter months. It's spring and the weather is getting unseasonably warm lately and I think it's thawing me out and rejuvenating my creative juices a bit.

I'm still faring through DragonAge: Origins. It's long, epic storyline is starting to get a little weighted and I'm taking a break on it and started up Mass Effect 2, which is a little more addictive in it's game play mechanics.

After Mass Effect 2 I will either return to DragonAge or start up on Red Dead Redemption. I've also found out that both GTA4 and Borderlands has come out with added content discs for those of us that don't have access to DLC. Then Crackdown 2 comes out in July. What's a gamer to do?

And on top of all of the video gaming there's also some good old fashioned table top games going on. Both my friends Mad Mario and Roberto Del Amorte have started out new fantasy RPG campaigns that I'll be playing in. Roberto is running D&D 4th Ed. and Mario is running the Lord of the Rings RPG.

So my geek calendar is crammed full of nerdosity for the foreseeable future.

What am I listening to lately? Well, a friend at work has been introducing me to some headbanging goodness. My ears have bled to the likes of Shadows Fall, Overkill and Five Finger Death Punch. Check them out, wont you?

That's it for this post. Let the slappin' begin!

Zangz.

Bunny Stew

"Here comes Peter Cotton-Tail, Hoppin' down the Bunny Trail. Hippity Hopping, East....."

KABLAAAAAM!!!!!!

Rabbit stew for Easter Brunch, anybody? There might be a little buck-shot that you may have to pick out, but the broth is just deeeelightful.

Easter morn has arrived and it's brought me some wonderfully geeky memories of an Easter morning long past. Let's travel back in time to that particular Easter morning. Shall we?

I must have been 10 years old. It had been almost a year after I had my own religious awakening when I first viewed Star Wars up on the big screen for the first time. Within the year between Star Wars being released and the following Easter there were absolutely no Star Wars action figures put on the market.

True fact. Prior to its release the Star Wars people were promoting the fledgling Sci-Fi film at Sci-Fi conventions all over America. At the same time they were also trying very hard to market the film to toy companies for the obligatory toy line. Well, all of the toy companies rejected the toy line believing that Star Wars was going to be a fly by night flop.

By the time the movie was released and became the greatest motion picture of all time, there were still no toys in production. Once Kenner Toys saw the monetary potential and started to design the toys, it was still to late to release them to coincide with the success of the summer blockbuster. It would be a long wait until the action figures would hit the toy store shelves.

Being a huge action figure fan, I can remember wondering, "Where the hell were the Star Wars figures?" They had Star Wars pajamas, they had Star Wars bed spreads, they had Star Wars cereal, but no frackin' action figures! WTF?

After a year of waiting and wondering, that wonderful Easter morning came. My little sister and I got up an hour and a half early that morning and banged on Mom and Dad's bedroom door waking them out of their slumber. My dad instantly cursed about how early it was. Then Mom calmed him down and they got on their bath robes and we all headed down to the living room.

Of course Mom and Dad had us wait a bit before they got their coffee because back in the day anything that would annoyingly increase a kid's already out of control anticipation was something that parents constantly excelled at for whatever torturous reason.

Finally my dad opened the crazed Easter egg hunt with, "Ok, kids. Have at it."

Dizzy Lizzie and I tore the whole first floor of the house apart. My sister would always find hers first since she was younger and my parents would have to place them somewhat in plain sight for her.

Mine were a little more challenging, but after some hints and a game of "hot and cold" with my parents I'd find mine.

The first basket I found had a couple of Hot Wheels and the usual chocolate eggs, jelly beans and marshmallow candy with a few of the Easter eggs that we had painted a few nights before.

The second basket was the one with the magic in it. There amongst the fake plastic grass, next to the chocolate bunny sat a small R2-D2 action figure packaged in it's plastic cubicle with the black backboard that had a picture of the droid on it and blazed on the top of it was the Star Wars logo.

I lost my mind. I didn't even know these were on the shelves. This was years before the Internet so I had no clue. My young, action figure-lovin' mind instantly told me, "If there's one, there must be more". And when I turned the toy's packaging to the back I saw a picture of the collection of other figures you could get. JEEBUS HAS RISEN!!!

I went nuts looking for the third and last of my baskets. I finally found it wedged between a chair and the dining room hutch. I gasped when I saw a small Darth Vader looking back at me from behind the plastic packaging. The collection was officially started.

The next couple of hours were filled with Darth Vader chasing around R2 while at the same time I was downing enough sugary goodness to keep me up for weeks. Imagine my grand disappointment when I was forced to stop in the middle of all the fun a frolic to get dressed for.....church. Ugh.

During the whole hour and a half long mass I was goofed up on a sugar high that you wouldn't believe knowing that waiting for me at home were R2 and Darth to get into more wacky adventures together. It took every act of my young human will to not to explode into a sugar induced fit. But somehow I persevered and endured the long, hot, boring institution that is the Easter Morning Catholic Mass. Jeebus, preserve me!

After the mass we went over to my grandparents' house which was a very quick hop, skip and jump from our house. As we all went into the kitchen and smelled that wonderful Easter ham that Grandma was preparing, she told us that the Easter Bunny had stopped there also, but did not have time to hide the treats and that they were on the living room table.

There was one basket for each of us. In in mine was a great site to see. A C3PO and a Princess Leia action figure separated by a box of pink Peeps. I was head over heels in a state of euphoria.

I was able to run over to my house and get R2 and Vader and bring them back to the Grandparents' house so I could play with them until the Easter dinner ham was ready to be eaten. That afternoon Darth Vader captured Princess Leia and R2-D2 and C3PO had to go save her.

As months passed Luke, Han Chewie, Ben and stormtroopers joined the collection and the adventures.

That was one of the best Easter mornings I can remember having.

So here's hoping that some little geekling out there finds a Star Wars figure or two in his or her Easter basket.

Now that I've left you all with a cute story about young materialism and a reference to killing and eating the Easter Bunny on the morning of the most holy day of all holy days, I find myself needing to get hopping along myself. The family is going out for a most tasty brunch and at very nice little restaurant where the hostesses are very cute. So I'm out of here.

Coming Soon to this blog: An ode to the grand cinematic joy that is Bitch Slap!

Until next time kiddos, stay vertical! Happy Bunny Day!

Zangz.

Into the Great Wide Open....

About ten years ago I got up one morning, got into my car and drove into the downtown area. Just for the fun of it, when I spotted a police cruiser up a head of me, I floored it and rear ended him. He quickly gave chase as I blew down the road toward the lakefront. As he chased me, two other police vehicles joined him in the pursuit. As soon as I reached the lakefront, I headed directly to a cliff that overlooked the mass body of water. As the police cars tailed me, I swerved my car just in time to miss flying off of the cliff. The police cars were not that lucky. All three of them flew off of the cliff and into the lake below.

I then drove to a seedy little alley where I waited in my car for the heat to blow over. Once it did I drove to the same side of town where I started the whole original fiasco. And guess what I did then? I slammed into the back end of another police cruiser and started the whole chase all over again.

That was ten years ago. Now, guess what I did just this morning? I found myself on the planet Mars in the not too distant future where we earthlings have been colonizing the planet. I have joined a resistance group who are currently fighting against the militaristic monopoly who have taken over the planet in the name of corporatization. I planted a number of explosive charges onto one of their tanks that was assaulting a colonized suburb of Mars. While being shot at by soldiers, I ducked behind a home and set off the charges then watched as the tank blew into many different pieces. The cool thing was I could have also used a rocket launcher to do the dirty work. Or I could have used a special laser gun that disintegrates it's victims rather than zaps them. Or, I could have blown up a building and had it collapse on top of the tank. So may options.

Am I a nut-case who's already wild imagination has run amok with destructive glee?

No. Of course not. I am speaking of open world / sandbox game-play video games!

Video games were never the same as soon as they started to cater to those of us that enjoy the freedom to do whatever we want to do, when we want to do it, as we explore a vast world with tons of options and the non-linear adventures within it. My first venture into this type of game-play was Grand Theft Auto III. Though it wasn't the first of its kind, it certainly put free roaming and do anything at any time type game-play into the forefront of video games.

The crime simulation game allowed players to get in and out of cars, walk or run up streets, cary and use a variety of different weapons and create general havoc all over the fictional town of the fully realized, three dimensional Liberty City, a city that had three different huge islands where you could speed around in many different cars creating multiple methods of destruction.

The game had a whole series of main missions that you were assigned by your crime-lord bosses. You could choose to go from mission to mission to mission to come to the end of the game, or you could do a mission, then go exploring, do a mission, get yourself into a high speed chase with the police or a rival gang, do a mission, then steal a number of cars for your own private use, do a mission, shoot helicopters out of the sky with your bazooka, etc. You could go hours or even days without doing even one game mission and still feel that you were accomplishing tons of personal objectives.

I played that game for a good six months straight before I even looked at another game. That was the beginning of my obsession with games that had open world capabilities.

The GTA series begat three more games of that caliber, Vice City, San Andreas and the more recently, updated Grand Theft Auto 4.

After the popularity of these open world crime simulations, many game companies and game publishers decided to get in on the action. Within the last decade we've gotten a ton of open world / crime sim games that have included, True Crime: Street of LA, Saints Row, Saints Row 2, The Godfather, Bully , Mercenary and Scarface.

They've also tapped heavily into the fantasy role playing game genre. The Elder Scrolls series of games that originated before GTA on the home PC and then started to hit game counsels are some of my favorite games of all time! The two games that have hit the high marks are Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind and Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion (the reason I bought a '360!)

Both these games put players in vastly huge and lavish fantasy worlds that seem to never end. Players take on a first person perspective of a character they can custom generate however they wish. Players can take on the main quest of the game or take on thousands of mini-quests or just roam around the worlds and dungeons grabbing loot and fighting creatures. You can easily play for hours upon hours without touching any of the main quests. Both games took me about six months each to play through. And I'm sure I still haven't discovered quite everything in each of the games.

That's not all. A lot of Sci-Fi games have taken on the open world theme. One of the top such games is Fallout 3, a post apocalyptic tale brought to us from the great minds at Bethesda Softworks, the wonder minds that brought us the Elder Scrolls games! It is another action role playing game that allows players to traverse across the wastelands that were once Washing DC and its suburbs. Again, features such as totally customizable characters and a huge world to discover are in play. It is every bit as good as it's Elder Scroll game predecessors!

That's not the only Sci-Fi open world game out there. There's also one of my personal favorite addictions called Crackdown. The futuristic super cop action game may not be as long and epic as most open world games should be, but it's certainly a time sucker. There's also the recently released Red Faction: Guerrilla, a very addictive game that takes place on the surface of the planet Mars. I've even temporarily put down Dragon Age: Origins to play this puppy for the last few weeks!

One pretty cool feature that is a part of open world gaming is that your character's actions help decide the outcome of the games. You can choose to play it as the good guy hero or play as a murderous villain. How you play may result in how the game ends or how other characters within the game react to you. These features really make you feel like you are a part of the world and story being told in it! That's a great attribute compared to anything a first person shooter or platformer has to offer!

Now, as wonderful as I find most of these open world games, I do find that there are a few hitches in plying them. Sometimes they can get repetitive. When designers try and create a huge vast world, they end up relying on a lot of the same scenery, just put in different patterns in different areas. This can become visually tiresome at times. Sometimes quests can be pretty repetitive also. You can only retrieve the same treasure or rescue the same prisoner so many times before you get so used to it and any surprises are thrown out the window after a while. Sometimes the areas of the huge world are separated by long and tedious load times.

But, admittedly that's nit-picking. I'm hardly tiring of open world games. I used to be heavily into first person shooters and action games. But, those games were quite linear and I found myself playing though them within 8 to 12 hours. If I'm going to be plunking down $60 per game, I'm going to want to get as much bang for my buck as possible. Economically, these are not the times to waste a chunk of change on only 12 hours of gameplay! If I find a totally immersive game where I can do anything I want in the huge world that the publishers have created and can play it beyond 6 months, I find myself quite fortunate!

Exploration is another big plus for these games. What new and exciting area, dungeon, swamp, forest, castle, ruins, city or planet can I traverse and find interesting objectives and possibly treasure in? It could be quite limitless.

What is the next big open world game I'm looking forward to? It's a western theme game brought to us from Rockstar Games, the people who brought us the Grand Theft Auto series. It is a game called Red Dead Redemption. It's release is just under two months away. If you just watched the trailer I linked to, you'll understand the excitement.

I'm hoping that open world video games don't start to get old and wear out their welcome. I'm hoping they find ways to expand and enhance the already immersive experience that they provide. How creators are going to do that, I have no clue since I'm already finding myself in five hour stints of playing and 6 months worth of playing just one game in games that are already released. It can only get better from here!

That's it for me today. I'm hoping to get more blogging done in the future. We'll see how that goes.

Until next time, stay vertical!

Zangz.

The Great Mind that is.... Alan Garner, The One Man Wolf Pack.

If you haven't seen The hangover, this post is stuffed full with spoilers. Read at your own risk!

"I'd like to say something that I've prepared tonight....Hello. How about that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City. Ha, ha, ha.

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a one man wolf pack. But, when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And the wolf pack grew by one. So there were two... two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack. And then Doug joined in later.

And six months ago when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, 'Wait a second! Could it be true?' And now I know for sure. I just added two more guys to my wolf pack.

Four of us wolves running around the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight I make a toast.....Blood Brothers!"

Alan Garner as played by Zach Galifianakis
in the 2009 film, The Hangover.

Are these the words of a sad, disturbed, goofballish psychopath, or the brilliant musings of a great, misunderstood mind? I'd like to vote for the later.

It is very easy to take in the character of Alan from the comedic masterpiece film called,The Hangover, and misjudge him as simply some sort of social misfit who's oddities may seem to lean toward pure dangerous and disturbing behavior.

But, lets try and forget about the suggested court order that keeps him 200 feet away from schools and Chucky Cheese restaurants. Lets sweep under the rug of the fact that he secretly drugged his fellow bachelor party buddies with roofies.....that he thought was Ecstasy. Lets turn a cheek to his belief that "enjoying one's self" on an airplane is perfectly normal behavior. Now let's look at Alan as a man living in his own world and grabbing it by the nards.

Simply put, Alan is living life on his own terms. He's shunning the establishment while experimenting with social culture. He looks at life very simplistically and doesn't care what others think. Actually, he's quite oblivious to how we so called "normal" folk view the world around us.

His simpleton, child like behavior should be cheered on rather than feared. Heck, if most of us were judged by our child like behavior, we'd all be round up and trhown into the rubber room. How many of us that are in our 40's still play video games, still read comic books, still have boatloads of action figures in our bedrooms, still weep in the loneliness of the dark cold nights..........um............

Ya know, I better quit this whole Alan argument right here and now. Besides I had no idea where I was going to go with this post anyway. So much for a healthy free writing exercise.


On to some quick little notes of geekdom before I wrap this puppy up.

I have gotten a new / used car after a reh-tard slammed into the back end of my old car who I named Shirley. I have considered naming the new one Dita since I'd kind of like to stay with the whole sexy, counter culture iconic goth chick theme. We'll see if this sticks.

I'm still wonderfully plodding through about 4 to 5 video games and haven't even gotten to Mass Effect 2 yet. But, rest assured I'll get to it at some point.

Some of my favorite shows are in full swing on the old boob-tube. 24, Lost and Chuck are all looking pretty fab this season.

What am I currently listening to? You always seem to ask that. I just picked up "Mechanize" by the newly reformed Fear Factory. It's as heavy as a madre fracker!!! It's also has some nice doses of industrialized melody thown in there. A must have for headbangers!

I'm going to call it here, kids. I have to grab a bite then prep to go out and see my buddy, Mr. Salty, play in one of the many bands he winds up in tonight.

Until next time, god bless all of the Alan's of the world and stay vertical.

Zangz.

Starting 2010 with a HUGE BANG....and crash...and wreckage...and suckage.

First Post of the new decade!

If you will recall, in my last post of 2009 I stated, "May 2010 be a lucrative, happy, rejuvenatory, healing year for us all!"

What the hell was I thinking when I posted that?! Was I trying to temp fate? Was I teasing it, poking it with a sharp stick or perhaps daring it to frack with me as best it could?

Well dear friends, I received further proof that there truly is no god. Long story short, late last week my car of 9 years got totaled when a young, inattentive driver slammed into the back end of it while I was stopped and waiting for oncoming traffic so I could make a turn.

I guess what's most important is the fact that I got out of it pretty unscathed. I suffered only achy legs and shoulders the next day. But, who knows, with my frackin' luck I could be hemorrhaging somewhere in body right now and not even know it. I could be a goner by tomorrow morning. This could be the last post of Zangz's Blog of Geekdom that there will ever be (loud cheer of approval from the crowd).

So, sadly my car, who I named Shirley a long time ago, is no more. She's gone. I must say, I did have a slight lump in my throat as I emptied her of all of my personal effects at the tow yard. Her back end was nothing more than a indentation of crushed metal. She is now a mass of lifeless waste where at one time Shirley was my daily transportation taking me hither and yon, through hill and dale, to work, friends' houses and to Haunted Attractions during Halloween season. Her CD palyer would blast Type O Negative and Nightwish while I cruised down the highway. That's all gone now. Shirley will be missed.

After a bit of a tense period when the driver of the car who hit me took his sweet frackin' time to report and acknowledge the accident happened to his insurance firm, it looks like they'll be cutting me a check. Sadly, it won't be for what I had hoped for.

But, thanks to my Bro-In-Law who's in the automotive field, I will have a new Zangzmobile by the weekend. This one has all the modifications and accessories that made me fall in love with Shirley so much. Moon roof, electronic windows and locks, smoke screen, automatic guns in the headlights and rear end oil slick. Cool stuff like that.


The only other stuff I have to yap on about is the crazy amount of video games I have to play. Thanks to X-Mas and B-Day, I made out with a ton of games and gift cards to spend on.

So now I have Dragon Age: Origins, Sacred 2: Fallen Angel, Red Faction: Guerrilla and now Mass Effect 2 to play through. I should be good for gaming on into Summer.

Short but sweet, that's what this post shall be. So take care and watch your rear view mirrors.

Zangz.

Zangz's Best of 2009!

Last Blog Post of the Decade!

It seems that in the last blog post of every year I post something to the effect of, "Let's hope that the new year doesn't suck as much as this past year did".

But, every year seems to surpass the previous in pure crap-a-tude! This year was marred by a lot of people close to myself and my family dealing with some unfair sucker punches that life tends to deal out. Sicknesses, unemployment, bad investments, economic instability, car accidents and a whole plethora of corn filled crapolla has plagued many in our lives in '09.

So this year I'm hesitant to put down this past year and wish for a better upcoming year, because it seems to put some bad voodoo vibes out there.

Thus, the best I can come up with is this....

May 2010 be a lucrative, happy, rejuvenatory, healing year for us all!

Having said that, I do realize that not everything was totally poopville in 2009. Here are a couple of my favorite things that I either discovered or came upon this past year.....

Best Movie of 2009:

Star Trek

The newly revamped telling of the classic TV series that was directed by geek icon J.J. Abrams really put the Star Trek franchise back on the map after it was starting to disappear and dwindle into nothingness. The very clever storytelling, character development and cool as frell action sequences have more than made up for the last few Next Generation movies that Hollywood was drenning out! And bravo to Chris Pine for really capturing a cocky, young Captain James Tiberius Kirk so perfectly. You can read my review on the film HERE and you can watch the trailer for it HERE.

Best Comedy of 2009:

The Hangover

Ok, I'll admit it. There's a heck of a lot of bathroom humor in this tale of four guys going to Vegas for a bachelor party and after a drunken night of debauchery they lose the bachelor. The day after plays out like a real warped comedy mystery. There are scenes in this movie that will have you laughing out loud and then realizing what a disturbing person you must be for laughing at them. Zach Galifianakis was the stand out for me as the awkward, slightly off kilter future brother in law. The character harnesses the biggest laughs in the film with his dimwitted and a bit creepy persona (just why does he have a court order to stay far away from high school?) Check out the trailer HERE.

Best Book Read in 2009

Devil May Care
by Sabastian Faulks

I didn't read a lot this year. In fact I started about three or four different books, but only completed this one, thus, sadly, it's may favorite of the year...sigh. Actually it's not too bad and as a James Bond novel, it reads pretty fast with a lot of action in it. Faulks brings the characer of James Bond back to the cold war era to fight against another odd, megalomaniac arms dealer. Faulks adhears to a lot of the James Bond trappings that fans of the character really enjoy. Exotic locations, beautiful women and nasty villains are all handled quite capably here. And it is not a long grueling book to read through as some of John Gardner's novels were. It is quick, action packed and to the point. Though my favorite Bond novelist is still Raymond Benson, I'm hoping the Flemming estate will stick with Faulks for a few more novels. You can see a bit about it HERE.

Best Web Series

The Guild

This independent web series created by actress Felicia Day is about a group of online gamers who spend hours upon hours playing World of Warcraft. The comedy is more about their social lives (or sever lack there of) than the game itself. The episodes are short so it's a good "go to" if you've come home from a stressful day at work for a couple of hearty chuckles. Click on "The Guild" above to see episodes!

Best Haunted Attraction Visited in 2009

Hartford Jaceey's Haunted House

They've won over Terror on Rural Street for the 2nd year running. It's all about the ridicules amounts of attention to detail they put into the show.

And last, but in no means least....

Best Video Game of 2009

Borderlands

Last year Fallout 3 got the honors and this year I've been playing a heck of a lot of Fallout 3 also. But, I didn't want to be redundant and this year I was pretty addicted to Borderlands! In a nutshell, it takes place on a post apocalyptic planet called Pandora where bandits, mutants and renagades run rampant trying to find "The Vault", a hidden place with a possible alien cache of great wealth. You play one of three types of fighter classes you can pick from. From then on it's a wonderful cell shaded, open sand boxed, first person shooter that has a huge wealth of weapons and stash you can switch out and sell.

There's also a good dose of RPG character progression which adds to the already addictive amount of different fire arms that are all over the planet. It wasn't the most perfect RPG game created. Once you find "The Vault" it's not all it's cracked up to be and you find yourself up against a pretty nasty boss where you'll find the learning curve for defeating bad guys has gone through the roof. That last fight can be pretty frustrating. Once you beat the last boss, you're forced to watch the credits. Then after that you are able to go back and still play the game without any quests being given to you. You can still trudge about the world taking on bad guys and even go up against some of the minor bosses again.

Although it had over 100 side quests in addition to the main quest, the game could have been a bit longer and more epic. When you want to put an RPG video game out there, you'd better be ready to be compared to the big boys. Anyone who's played the aforementioned Fallout 3 or games like Morrowind and Oblivion have experienced truly epic games. Borderlands is kind of short in comparison. But it's addictive gameplay makes up for it. I see myself playing through the game again some point down the road. I had that much fun with it.

See gameplay HERE.

Consider that my review of Borderlands I've been promising.


I got Dragonage: Origins and Sacred 2 for X-Mas and I'll let you now how they play out. The next big game I'm looking forward to is Mass Effect 2. It comes out not too far off from my birthday, so I think I know what some birthday money is going to buy.

I'm not promising anything, but several posts back I've alluded to my Buddy Bruce providing us with a review of this past summer's DragonCon '09. Well, his computer did some serious crashing, but things are back up to normal now and he actually hopes to have it ready soon!

That's it for the posts of 2009. Remember to stay safe tonight and stay vertical.

Until next year, see ya.

Zangz.

Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men, yada, yada, yada......

Here it is, X-Mas Eve day, and there's just one thing that is on my mind right now...."JEEBUS is that Iron Man 2 trailer looking pretty darned awesome!!!" If they give the care and love of the character and comic that they infused into the first movie into the second, then all will be alright with the world.

I know. Commenting about the new Iron Man trailer seems a bit shallow when we should all be focusing on Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men, yada, yada, yada and whateverthehellother X-Mas pleasantries you want to toss in there. They seem ironic when put up against the modern day backdrop of stores and streets filled with obnoxious people all knocking each other down and running each other off of the roads to get there hands on a gift for the already spoiled little Johnny-Brat-Face.

Are you waiting for the X-Mas spirit to manifest itself on this post yet? Keep reading...

I know I've joked on this blog before about presents being the major deal of X-Mas just to stir the pot a bit. But, for me the real deal of the holidays is being with family and friends! That's all there is to it for me. And that alone is a big, major, hairy deal to me.

I take this time to celebrate in a personal manor how important friends and family are to me. Out there in the shallow, yuppie world of normalcy, geeks like myself are thrown to wolves. If it weren't for the acceptance of my closest friends and the support of my family, I'd be in over my head trying to fit into a world where the themes of the fantastic are constantly under conservative scrutiny.

The acceptance and support I get from them are the best X-Mas gifts I can ask for. The best thing is that I don't have to ask for them. They are given unconditionally.

The next couple of days will be about family, friends, good company, great food, good drink, and both giving and receiving some presents as well as time away from the hectic work schedule.

Here's hoping that the rest of you all get to have the same things this holiday season!


That's about as festive as it's going to get in my Blog of Geekdom. So on to more geeky things....

I've almost come to the very end of Borderlands for the Xbox 360. I'll have a full review once I'm done, but so far thumbs up! After that I'll go back to completing the additional content from Fallout 3. Hopefully I'll find a new game in my X-Mas stocking tonight so I have something after Fallout 3. If not, a little X-Mas money may have to go toward either Sacred 2 or Dragonage: Origins. We'll see.

As far as television viewing, I'm catching up on the two season HBO epic, ROME on DVD. I'm pretty hooked as they spare no expense in showing how brutal it was during the rise of the Roman empire.

That's about all there is for this X-Mas Eve day post of my Blog of Geekdom. So I'll end it on this holiday wish to you and yours...

May the fat man get you some groovy swag this holiday season!

Merry X-Mas!

Zangz.

Jack Frost Can Suck It!

Ho, ho, frackin' ho.

The X-Mas season continues it's plague across the lands as arctic temperatures linger about, freezing the nards of all man, woman and child. Well, maybe not "woman". Well, maybe some women....who have just had that surgery.

In any case, it's cold as hell, making the chore of going out X-Mas shopping beyond the point of "less appealing". It downright blows. Jack Frost can go pound sand! I love giving loved ones cool stuff, but schlepping my way through nasty crowds in freezing cold temperatures sure doesn't bring me the yuletide joy.

But, that's exactly what I've been doing for the last couple of days, God bless my cold, anti-X-Mas heart.

I know what you're all thinking, "Zangz, are you so cold inside that you can't even appreciate the little things that give great joy during the holiday season?"

You may be surprised at my answer. I most certainly can. Just last weekend I had two tree decorating sessions that I really enjoyed.

The first one was at my sister's place. My Bro-In-Law feigned a hurt finger and was unable to put ornaments up on the tree. So I had to step in and save the day. As a child, tree decorating was "the bomb" (kids still use that kind of cool jargon, don't they?). I loved pulling out all of the home made decorations that my mom and Grandma made as well as the store bought favorites and picking the places on the tree that I would put them.

As an adult, tree decorating is at the same level of fun as being pulled through the cobble stoned streets of Charles Dickens' Victorian England on the ground by a team of wild horses. But, for some reason, I was kind of into it. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (featuring a very young Big Bang Theory star Johnny Galecki as Rusty Griswald) was playing on the tube as my mom, sis and myself put the ornaments up on the tree. In some weird way, after a crazy week at work, it helped relax me.

Then the next night I was over at the home of some close friends that are going through a bit of a challenging and tough time. My very close friend Iris Von Beaverhousen is currently kicking cancer's ass. I had the utmost privilege to watch her and her faithful manservant, and fellow friend, Roberto, put up their tree decorations with the ever so precocious 4 year old, "G-Love".

As they let me watch their collection of DVR'd episodes of Ace of Cakes, I would glance over at the family putting up the tree and get a warm, cozy, happy-time feeling ooze over me. Iris would be putting up her "Millennium Falcon flying over Mos Eisley" ornament while Roberto would have his Darth Vader ornament in hand ever ready to plunk it upon the appropriate branch. And G-Love would be wearing her Santa hat and helping Mom and Dad with the whole artistic endeavor the X-Mas tree is. Perhaps X-Mas doesn't suck half as much as I blog about. Perhaps there is hope for humanity during the holiday season. Just perhaps.

I did buy myself a little X-Mas present. Usually I wait until a few days before the new year to buy a calendar. That's when they all go to half price. But, while perusing through a local bookstore I came upon a calendar I just had to grab right away. I'm now the proud owner of the "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog" 2010 calendar. How was I to resist a calendar that features both Falicia Day and Liz Vassey (Capt. Liberty from The Tick TV show).

If you're not up to speed on what Dr. Horrible is all about, you need to give yourself a bit of a treat and check it all out here. It's a heck of a fun time, even though the ending is bittersweet.

Also check out the music of The Bronx Casket Company. Being a big fan of Type O Negative as I am, a friend at work thought I might be interested in this band. So I checked them out and really enjoy what I hear. Very dark and yet melodic. Check them out, won't you?

That's going to be it for this post. Until next time, stay vertical and happy holidays (I threw up a little bit in my mouth just typing that)....humbug.

Zangz.

The 2nd Annual, Zangz's X-mas / B-Day Present Wish List.

Call me shallow as heck, but the only really good thing about X-mas is the gifts. Giving them as well as receiving them....I guess.

Unfortunately, the curse that is the holiday season has once again reared it's ugly head and affected our family's gift giving organization.

First, due to a supreme lack of communication upon both my sister's and my part, we both got our mom the same gift. A DVD player that she has been heavy-handedly hinting to the both of us that she wanted. Luckily I was able to guilt my sister into returning hers. But now there's another problem.

I was planning on posting this blog so my family had a place to find out what I wanted for X-Mas. But, I get this call from my Mom earlier this evening when I'm out and about and the conversation goes something like this....

Mom: I need your X-mas gift list now. Me and your sister are going shopping tomorrow.

Me: I hate X-mas so I really haven't thought too hard about it. I was going to post it on my blog this weekend.

Mom: I never read your blog (big surprise) and technology frightens me. Aren't there viruses on blogs? Just email it to me as soon as you get home.

Me: I have a few ideas, but nothing concrete yet. Can't you wait until the weekend?

Mom: Your sister and I are going out tomorrow, I'm not going to have time to read your blog in the morning to get a bunch of viruses. I need it emailed to me as soon as possible.

Me: I'll see what I can do, but you'd have a far better idea of what I'd like if you'd just be patient and read my blog tomorrow.

Mom: I can't be patient and get a bunch of viruses! I need it so I can print it out quickly. I don't want to visit a virus ridden website!

Me: There are no viruses on the blog, Ma!

Mom: Then why can't I get channel 12 in on my TV?

Me: What?

Mom: Ever since I visited your blog the last time, I can't get in channel 12 on this whole new fangled digital TV stuff.

Me: Um, Mom. That has nothing to do with my blog. That's has to do with the new digital adapters that you put in once the TV stations went digital.

Mom: Well, I'm just saying, technology is all catywhompass. Also, I can't read your blog since the lettering is too small. Just email me your list.

At least that's the way I remember the conversation going down. So I relented and sent her a half-assed list. But for a far more detailed affair please peruse the items below.

RULES AND REGULATIONS: This is not just a X-Mas list it's also a B-Day list since my B-Day comes less than a month after X-Mas and I know people a conserving funds during the crappy economic times. I DO NOT expect to get all of this stuff, but I'm giving everybody a plethora of stuff to choose from. These are in no particular order of want or need. Here we go.....


VIDEO GAMES:

Sacred 2: Fallen Angel for the Xbox 360 - Another open world action fantasy RPG. I've heard that it's pretty good. But, not a knock out of the park. That's why I don't want to spend my own money on it. (for review view here)
Dragon Age: Origins for the Xbox 360 - Same as above, but got far better reviews. It's not quite an action RPG. It has a bit of timed strategy involved in its combat, much like Mass Effect. But reviews have been pretty excellent for this game. (for review view HERE.)

DVDs:

Since I already bought myself the new Star Trek movie, there's one other I'd like to have in my collection...

The Hangover - Funniest movie I've seen all year. I can't not see this puppy finding it's way into my DVD library. See the trailer HERE.

CLOTHES:
I've never been a big "clothes for gifts" fan. My sister does pretty darn good in choosing stuff for me. But it's always ironing intensive. So here's another idea.

Here are a bunch of websites that have some of the coolest frackin' shirts I've ever seen!

http://www.fright-rags.com/

http://www.lastexittonowhere.com/

http://www.bustedtees.com/

Here are a few that stand out from them.....

The Slaughtered Lamb (reference to American Werewolf in London)
Pork Chop Express (reference to Big Trouble in Little China)
Haddonfield (reference to Halloween)
Nexus-6 (reference to Blade Runner)
Tyrell (another reference to Blade Runner)
Main Force Patrol (reference to Mad Max/Road Warrior)
Miskatonic U (reference to Call of Cthulhu)
Zombie
Zuul
Obey
Brewster
Omen
Nosferatu
Gates
More Cowbell
Brains
What the Frak
That's How I Roll
Solo
Einstien
St. Dorothy (reference to Anchorman)
Deathstar
Strangers
Watchmen

Yep. That's a hell of a lot of T-Shirts. I guess that geek culture is growing in leaps and bounds. I know some of them are from an English website, but a guy can dream can't he. Isn't this the time for X-Mas magic? C'mon, people! Work for it!!!!

Shoes - Something between a work shoe and semi formal. Skeechters has some good stuff at times.

Winter Gloves - Heck, a black leather pair that isn't insanely cumbersome and doesn't fall apart at the slightest hint of manual labor would be fine.

Those last two picks are not at the top of my list! Check the T-shirts list first.

OTHER STUFF:

Money is always good. I can use it toward things. I'm thinking about purchasing a smart phone since I haven't had a really good organizer in years. I'm currently looking at either this or this or this. Or this.

Cologne - I haven't had a really good cologne in a long time. I heavily rely on underarm deodorant these days. That alone will not placate the ladies.

That's it for now. Start budgeting since I am a bit of an expensive beeeoootch.

I kid. Get me whatever the heck you feel like for my X-mas / B-day. I'll even be happy if I get a lump of coal. Being able to spend X-Mas with friends and family is always the ultimate gift (ass kissing alert.)

Until next time. Stay vertical!!

P.S. The script in this blog is bigger than usual so my mom can actually read it....sigh.

Zangz.

The Wrath of the Holiday Season....

I promised myself that after my plethora of Halloween influenced posts that I wouldn't have the traditional "Bah-Humbug" attitude in my blogging tone that I usually do during the holiday season.

That promise pretty much went to complete hell after this week. My strong belief in the fact that people turn more rude, obnoxious and greedy once the holiday season draws near has been proven time and time again.

Within the last week I've been stressed out with a unrealistic workload, I've been almost run over by some yuppie ditz in her silver sports car in the parking lot of a Best Buy and my TV watching seems to have been jammed packed with X-mas commercials that popped up THE DAY AFTER Halloween.

BAH HUMBUG indeed!

Now, believe it or not, despite my anti-seasons greetings attitude, I do find myself actually being quite thankful for some things that are currently going on.

First and foremost, I'm thankful that a very good friend of mine is beating her battle with cancer. I'm also thankful that my very good friend, Goof, will be in town with his family and I'll be seeing them this Thanksgiving weekend. I'm also thankful that I have a pretty decent network of friends and family.

So there are a few shreds of light shining through the tares in the dark fabric that is the Holiday Season.

Speaking of family, I'm sure my sister, Dizzy Lizzy, has been having a blast this week since it is NEW-MOON-PALOOZA week. Though my sister is in her 30's she communes with the legion of tweener girls that are all broiled up over the latest pretty boy glimmering vampire movie that was released to some pretty bad reviews this week.

Much as I did with the Star Wars Prequels, my sister immersed herself the whole midnight showing experience. Then she saw it a second time later in the weekend. Though I'm not a big fan of sappy, teenybopper Twilight "vampire" stories by author Stephenie Meyer and the movies based on her novels, I do like to see my sister geek out over something that is somewhat genre related.

On to something completely different....

This past week saw the DVD release of last summer's big blockbuster, Sci-Fi piece of pure joy called Star Trek. A rebooting of the original TV series. Of course I went and grabbed that baby off the store shelf. When I did so, I realized that this would be the first Star Trek movie that I'd have in my whole DVD collection. That's a pretty sad state of affairs for me since I pride myself on being a geek. Luckily, right there next to the Star Trek DVD was a three disc compilation of three of the best Kirk & Spock movies, The Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock and The Voyage Home.

This morning when I got out of bed I popped into the DVD player The Wrath of Khan. It had been a while since I last saw it. Quite a few years in fact. So this morning a got a full viewing in. I do have to say that this really is the best Star Trek movie out of all of them. Sure, the latest reboot is quite spectacular and was my favorite movie of 2009, but there's a few things about Wrath of Khan that really hits the Star Trek spot.

First of all you have a very clever script. Back in 1982, who would have thought that taking an episode from the original 60's TV series ("Space Seed") and building upon it to create an entire motion picture would have worked so well. You also have the fortification of the relationship between Spock and Kirk. You get to see just how close their friendship is through Spock's ultimate sacrifice.

Second, you have the larger than life villain of Khan Noonien Signh, a genetically enhanced superhuman who was exiled by Capt. Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise on a doomed planet in the original TV series only to escape the planet and seek revenge on the Enterprise in the film. The role is wonderfully filled by the late, great Ricardo Montalban. Montalban plays the role with great relish and vigor. Some may say his performance was a bit over the top, but for a character who was not only abandoned on a soon to be desolate planet for 15 years and lose the love of his life there, I'd be a bit over the top also. Besides his performance is a perfect match to William Shatner's big as life Captain James T. Kirk.

Third, you get a pretty decent space ship battle. It's not a crazy, fast as light dog fight, like we've seen in the Star Wars films. It is a slow, brutal, methodical, ship to ship blast-fest. It's very reminiscent of the old pirate ship battles out on the seven seas.

I'm glad I watched it again! I keep forgetting what a kick-A movie that is. Here's a clip of one of the more famous scenes in the movie.

As for other viewing pleasures, I've been renting the third season of Dexter (Excellent!), the first season of Rome (Pretty darned entertaining!) and hopefully soon True Blood (Far more vampirerific than the above mentioned series.)

As for video gaming, when I've had time, I've delved deeply into Borderlands (see gameplay here). Even though it's a first person shooter, it has the same type of addiction level as a game like Diablo. There's a lot of loot to collect and skills to build up. It's pretty friggin' cool so far. I'm just hoping it going to be quite epic and long.

I'm also looking forward to Mass Effect II that's coming out soon.

That's all there is for now. If I don't post here before Thanksgiving have a happy turkey day!

Zangz.