And the Grim Reaper laughs heartily...

In modern day entertainment and pop culture the character of the Grim Reaper has been pretty humanized. In the Neil Gaiman graphic novella, "The Sandman" Death was a cute Goth chick that would appear right after one's spirit would leave their body. She would then usher you into the afterlife, but not follow you there. After all she had more work to do here on earth.

On the TV show Dead Like Me, Reapers are deceased people who still walk the earth in different bodies and are given names on post-its as to who they need to "visit". They also usher the recently deceased into the next life.

But, I've always preferred the old tried and true blade carrying, skull headed, hood wearin' mo fo. He's the one full of menace and downright nastiness. And recently this S-O-B has a hearty appetite for big name celebs of the 70's and 80's.

The first to go under the scythe was Kung Fu star David Carradine a few weeks back. Apparently,the Grim Reaper has a pretty sick and twisted sense of humor.

Second, he narrowed in on Ed McMahon earlier this week, giving Ed the old "complications to many different health problems" routine. I grew up watching Ed on the Tonight Show and was slightly bummed out at the news.

Then Reaps took a few days off, got caught up on some things, perhaps took in a movie or just hung out and relaxed before his really friggin' big day.

The 26th of June started like any other work day for us all. I wonder how it started for the Grim Reaper. Was he all excited rubbing his boney hands together and licking his chops in anticipation? Or was he completely stressed out at the prospect of the grand double whammy stunt he was going to pull off that day?

In any case, yesterday ended in an incredibly surreal way for most of us. As for me, I was sitting at a local Irish pub enjoying a pint with other patrons. Up on the HD widescreen was some sports channel going through big stories of the day both related and not related to sports. At the time the sound was off and I looked up to see that poster, THAT poster, of Farrah Fawcett. Underneath it were the dates 1947-2009. We all knew that Farrah was very sick. She boldly and bravely showed us her sickness in a two hour documentary that was televised earlier this year. But, even though it was no surprise that she had passed, it still took a bit of the wind out of me. After all, Charlie's Angels hit the TV when I was going through puberty. I will not go into extreme details of a young boy being introduced to the detective talents of one Jill Monroe or that poster, THAT poster. Suffice it to say, she made an impact.

But the Reaper was far from done. Very far indeed. He still had his magnum opus to perform. Farrah was only the opening act. The headliner had yet to take the stage. I sat at the bar talking to the bartendress about how much of a bummer it was that Farrah was gone when someone at the other end of the bar said, "Turn on CNN!" The bartendress took the remote and pointed it at one of the screens. The big headline across the screen read: MICHAEL JACKSON IN CARDIAC ARREST.

At first I though, "What kind of wacked out publicity stunt is he up to this time?" Not being a big MJ fan, I could of cared less. Though, the pop culture lover inside of me wanted to see what was going to happen next. I really thought that this was going to be another hair-on-fire incident where in the end he'd be in the hospital for a while then get out and go on being Michael Jackson. Then the headline changed.... MICHAEL JACKSON IN COMA.

Things went downhill from there as not 20 minutes later the headline confirmed, MICHAEL JACKSON PRONOUNCED DEAD! The sound came on and they were referring to him in the past tense.

As I said, I'm pretty unaffected by Michael Jackson. At first no one in the bar really noticed how the headline changed. The bartendress passed by me and I pointed it out to her asking, "Are they for real?" I think there may have been a , "oh my god" out of her mouth, but I was too stunned to remember. I wasn't stunned in the way of "Oh dear lord, a god has left us!" as I will be when Connery or Harrison Ford or Ozzy Osbourne kick the bucket. But, when a massive pop culture icon/character buys the farm unexpectedly, you can't help but be a little gob-smacked.

The bartendress went over to the computer that controls the TVs and audio system, booted up i-Tunes and clicked on a Michael Jackson mix. The people in the bar were starting to catch on to the big story. My friend Spanky, who always calls me when a big celeb has died rung up my cell phone within minutes of the announcement. I'm sure he made some sort of pedophilia joke, but I can't recall it at this time.

Though I'm no MJ fan, i did feel that it was a pretty surreal event. And for the rest of the day I was in a state of, not shock, but a weird feeling that it wasn't real. I wasn't depressed or saddened by the event. It was just weird to no longer have the wild and crazy world of Michael jackson to hear about anymore.

That night, the Grim Reaper went to bed tired and beat down. It had been a full couple of weeks with a boatload of special projects that had to be dealt with. He cracked open a six pack of Blatz that he picked up at the Pump-And-Go and ended up on the couch in front of his TV which had Seacrest on expounding all his MJ knowledge to the world.

Then GR would pass out in front of the tube after a ballz-out busy day.

Speaking of passing out, I myself have to get up early to work tomorrow morning. Much like the Grim Reaper, there's always some work to do.

Zangz.

UPDATE: Since this was posted, two more celebs have bowed before the reaper. TV Pitchman, Billy Mays and veteran actor Karl Malden have passed. A note to any celebrity reading this: HIDE. The Reaper is on a celeb hackin' rampage!

"Ok, let's say we clear out this warehouse and had an enormous cage match...

.....and in it we had Darth Vader fighting against Superman, who would win?"

This is a question that was posed to a few of us at work today by a fellow employee. Though it was one of the many insanely busy days that have cursed / blessed us of late, we still had a brief moment of levity sneak in.

Of course I went with my man, Vader. The reaction was one of disgust and disappointment from the Superman supporters. I defended my answer with the obvious reason. Sure, Supes is the "Man of Steel" but Vader has crushed steel with a flick of his Dark Force enhanced wrists. As soon as Supes would land and do his patented, big chested boyscout pose, Vader would twist him up in a gruesome pile of flesh and bone with nary a thought......

Dear Jebus, it was stupid conversation. Yet, it was still very welcomed to have that slight geeky break in the middle of a very monotonous day. Work has been wearing me down lately and I am very happy it is the weekend.

I'll be finding myself dog, cat and house sitting this weekend. And you can bet I'll be fully equipped with the ol' '360, some beer and some nice cigars to enjoy out on the patio that is at the home. They're anticipating some very nice weather after these thunderstorms that have been lingering for the last day pass.

I really love thunderstorms. As a child a nighttime thunderstorm was terrifying. These days they seem to lull me to sleep.

Ok, this post is getting a bit ADD. On to some geekyness...


I recently picked up the action RPG Two Worlds and find myself already deeply entrenched in it.

It's not a great game by a long shot. The graphics are sub par for the current generation of game system. A lot of the visuals are repetitive. The map / quest log system can be downright frustrating. The voice acting is on the same level as Kevin Costner as Robin Hood. When it was first released it was promoted as being the "Oblivion Killer" and missed that mark by a long, long shot!

But, for some reason, I find myself playing it for blocks of several hours. Perhaps it's because the game system takes me back to the days of discovering the first Diablo. It's that quest-hack-pillage-upgrade game play that makes it work. The storyline involving your character's missing sister is quite compelling also. The world itself is quite vast and does have some changes in scenery. When your character heads into to Southern lands beyond the great river you'll find yourself in marshes, bogs and swamps. Venture even farther south and the sky turns blood red. A little Oblivion influenced me thinks. Silly as the game may be, it's still addictive as nicotine!

I'm calling it here. It's been quite the week and Old Man Zangz is going to catch a little shut eye.

G'night folks!

Zangz.

"BILL "has left us....

Got some really crappy fan-boy news today....

David Carradine has passed.

His role as Bill in Kill Bill really set him apart from the rest. He was one cool, laid back dude, and it sucks that he decided to leave us well before his time.

I hope he's somewhere he wants to be.

Zangz.

Gaze Upon The Oddity That is... THE CULLITAR!

Ummmmm...... yep. I don't quite have the words for this either. This could be so many levels of wrongness that you couldn't even concieve. But, it could also be a grand homage to a new fandom that is growing and still taking shape

So here's how I understand it all came to be. A couple of blogs ago I posted about my sister, Dizzy Lizzy, being a pretty huge Twilight fan. I myself, am not swept up into all the hoopla surrounding this vampire romance novel and movie series aimed solely at gothy tweener girls. But, my sister's best friend, Holly, really takes fandom to whole new levels. Evidently she's pretty over the top when it comes to young vampire Edward Cullen. She also happens to be a huge player of the interactive video game Guitar Hero. She had a graphic designer friend of hers get creative and put together this brooding piece of pop culture magic.....or monstrosity. Whichever way you lean on the whole Twilight phenomenon. She has named it The Cullitar!

Apparently, this picture is making it's rounds amongst the Twilight legions on the Internet and message boards. Like this one here.

Not long ago my sister had me view the movie based on the book, Twilight. And I was surprised at how it wasn't nearly as horrible as I thought it would be. After all, way back in the day when I first started gaming with my good GM, Mad Mario, it was Vampire: The Masquerade we played. That RPG seemed to have a very good grasp on vampire lore, taking a bit from Bram Stoker to Anne Rice. I'm not fully sure that if the game were to be completely revamped they would allow a lot of the sometimes silly Stephenie Meyer's version of vampire mythos into the pantheon of vampiric history, facts and traits (as god is my witness, vampires DO NOT simply twinkle when exposed to sunlight. They BURN THE FRACK UP like screaming beeotches!).

I had to see what all the hub-bub was about. I watched the film and found it ... simply ok. The performances were all pretty darn good. The story was typical romantic dren. Though, it was nothing to write home about (no all out vampire gore or real spooky atmosphere that a real good vampire flick/story should have) it wasn't a complete loss for me. After all, how would one complain if a vampire looking like Rachell Lefevre, Nikki Reed or Ashley Greene would latch on to you and suck the life outta ya? A good way to go out, huh? Ok, enough with the creepy old man syndrome.

I guess everybody has to find their fandom. I'm glad that my sister and her Guitar Hero playin', Edward Cullin lovin' friend, Holly, have found theirs.

Have a good weekend and enjoy a well deserved brew or two on me.

Zangz.

Oh, on a personal notation to Mrs. Meyer.... vampires don't produce bodily fliuds since they are undead. No boogers, no poop, no whizz, no spit, no vomit and.... none of the baby makin' stuff! So there's no way Edward would be able to impregnate Bella in the last of the books and upcoming movies. Read up on your vampire lore, would ya honey!

Movie reviews are like @$$%)ls, everyone has one!

Remember those geekified, genre movie reviews I've been promising for quite some time now. Well, get ready kiddo's. Here comes a poop-load of 'em.

Before I start I feel the need to relay the fact that I'm absolutely no movie critic by any stretch of the imagination. However, I am a fan of the geek genres (Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action , Horror, Pulp, etc, etc.) and I like to fill my blog with thoughts and observations about movies I've seen.

Recently I saw a critique by a performer about all sorts of different kind of criticism and how it's gotten out of control with the advent of blogs and message boards and how anybody living in their mom and dad's basement can wax poetic on how much a movie rocked or sucked, giving the author a small sense of power that he or she doesn't have in their own pathetic life.

Now let me assure all of you, I don't live in my parent's basement.....at this time. And it doesn't give me sadistic pleasure to have to say that I did not enjoy a movie. I don't like to have to waste my time viewing something that should be better than it is. For me it's not about what "rocked or sucked". Here in my Blog of Geekdom it's simply about, "Here's what I think you should check out!" and "Here's what you might want to avoid". Simple as that.

With that being said, lets dig in.....

Southland Tales -A futuristic tale of a Los Angeles gone wrong with political corruption and doomsday looming, this movie tries very, very, very hard to be this generation's Dr. Strangelove. But, it falls slightly short as it does get a bit preachy and loses some of it's power by trying to be more politically biased than trying to tell a cool Sci-Fi story. I'm not a fan of how the Bush administration treated the nation a year or so after 9/11. But, I do know propaganda when I see it. And despite some very interesting performances from an odd all-star cast (The Rock, Sarah Michelle Geller, Justin Timberlake and a darn near unrecognizable Kevin Smith amongst others) it kind of turns into a bit of a mind blowing, slightly confusing mess. However, I do think that it should definitely be checked out, if for nothing else, just for the wackiness of it and the oddball cast. Not a complete disaster, but if you're an uber-right wing, Fox News lovin' person, you will not like the message.

Rambo - If you thought Stallone's first three adventures in the role of the Viet Nam veteran killing machine were big assed explosions and uber-violence, you haven't seen anything yet! Not only is this flick a non stop action packed, gore fest, it also brings light to the real life atrocities that are happening in Burma and actually justifies the horrific deaths that Rambo inflicts upon many of the bad guys. Instead of closing your eyes, you'll be cheering when Rambo blows the head off of some scumbag Tatmadaw. I have to admit, I was never a big Rambo fan, but this movie really satisfied the action fan in me as well as making a slight social commentary...with oodles of blood and explosions.

10,000 BC - This prehistoric adventure/fantasy tale has a plot that has been used a few times before. An ancient tribe gets attacked and captured by a superior and evil group. Those that are left behind are to give chase and save their loved ones. One "chosen one" rises up and defeats the evil empire. If you want to see far better versions of this story go check out Mel Gibson's Apocalypto or the viking tale, Pathfinder. Not a horrible movie, but pretty predictable.

The Last Winter - This odd, but interesting, paranormal thriller finds a group of oil seekers planted in a very remote area of the arctic. Soon they find themselves haunted by "Mother Nature" who brings her wrath in the form of cursed accidents and odd, moose-like apparitions. Ron Pearlman heads the cast as a blow hard, machismo leader who wants to dive head first into getting an oil rig built out in the frozen tundra. But his plans are thwarted when each member of his team end up either dead or going nuts. Though I loved Pearlman's performance in this flick, I found the movie a very average horror thriller. I was very interested in the mystery of what was going on at first, I sadly lost interest once it became less of a mystery and more of a environmental warning with little explanation of the "evil" force behind the destruction and madness. Pearlman fans can check it out, but otherwise, it becomes a bit of a yawner and downer by the end.

The Spirit - I so very much wanted to love this movie. It had everything going for it to win over my fan-boy sensibilities. It was written and directed by the genius comic book icon, Frank Miller! It was shot in the shot by panel comic-straight-to-film way that its iconic predecessors, 300 and Sin City, had been! It was strongly based on the original pulp vigilante detective comic strip by the late Will Eisner! And it had a very high babe factor (Scarlette Johansson, Sarah Paulson, Eva Mendes, Jamie King and Stana Katic). But, as visually impressive as this dark, pulp film noire movie is, it kind of turns into shambles as a little too much goofy humor is thrown into the mix. I didn't know if I was watching something cool ,dark and broody or silly, goofy and slapstick. I felt it was way too over the top to be taken seriously. Perhaps I was expecting another Sin City or perhaps I'm not very familiar with Will Eisner's Spirit to appreciate the movie. This movie tries to be too many things and dilutes itself into a scatterbrained mess. Is it a comedy? Is it making fun of the pulp of the '40's? I wasn't sure. In the end I found it very interesting and something all fan boys should check out, but not the knock out of the park "I've got to have this in my DVD collection" movie I wanted it to be. I think Fran Miller has many great ideas that are waiting to break out of him. I'm not totally convinced that this was one of them.

The Punisher: War Zone - Marvel Comic's gun toting vigilante finds his way to the big screen once again. This is his third outing, this time with Ray Stevenson in the lead role. Now Stevenson certainly looks the part with his straight out of the modern day Punsher comics looks and quite honestly gives a darn good performance as the psychotic Frank Castle. The opening scene where the Punisher crashes in on a private mafia diner party is worth the price of admission alone. I just wish the rest of the movie had that kind of momentum. Much like the Rambo movie I just bragged about, the first action sequence in War Zone is uber-cool and wildly violent! If you're a fan of the comic, you'll love this scene. It's the rest of movie that I found a little disappointing. Mostly in the fact that they touted this as comic writer, Garth Ennis' vision of The Punisher. Well, if that was the fact, they should have had Garth Ennis write the script. It struggles to reach that Garth Ennis type of pulp action and characterization that he can create so wonderfully. Rumor has it that director, Lexi Alexander, had a far better version of this movie in mind that was befuddled by movie execs. Another issue I had was that the villain, Jigsaw, was a little too over the top. It hearkened back to Tommy Lee Jones' version of Two Face, and no one wants that. I do have to admit that if I can find this as a used DVD for cheap, I may just have to pick it up if for nothing else, just that opening scene.

Highlander: The Source - This movie is made strictly for the hardcore fans of the whole Highlander mythos and few else. I was a HUGE fan of the first Highlander movie that was made in the early '80's. The idea of sword wielding immortals in modern day times dueling it out for supremacy was pretty friggin' cool. Add the hard edged music of Queen into the mix and you had cult fandom gold! But after 4 films and a TV series, you gotta wonder if this franchise has run its course. After viewing The Source I have to sort of hope it has. Sure, the Highlander fan boy/girl will really get into this movie. Yet the casual fan-boy/girl will not. Taking place in a futuristic war ridden world (at least that's what I took it to be since it never really revealed) the Highlander from the TV series, Duncan McCloud, joins a band of his immortal co-horts in vanquishing the evil, sometimes creepy/sometimes just plain goofy "Guardian" and finding The Source, a generic power.... thingy-something-thing-a-ma-bob-thingy. Actually, I have no clue as to what the hell it is. In short, this movie takes everything that has become cliche from the Highlander series of movies, books and TV series and has spat it all back out in a film with little purpose. Instead of viewing this schlock, go back and watch the original Highlander film with Lambert and Connery. Even though it has severe visual effect limitations compared to The Source, its storytelling far outweighs The Source by leaps and bounds.

The Forbidden Kingdom - Not exactly an original idea here, I did find this Wizard of Oz meets Feudal Kung Fu fantasy flick a very fun little diversion. A young adult boy who's living in the tough streets of modern day South Boston finds himself transported to a fantasy version of Feudal Japan where he is trained for battle amongst the likes of Jackie Chan and Jet Li. The young man is the possessor of a magic staff that an evil war lord and the war lord's henchmen (and woman) are after. A very simple plot it is. However if I were a young 12 year old Kung Fu fan, I would love for my mom and dad to have taken me to see this in the theater. Sure there's a little violence and ever so slight bloodshed in the movie, but it totally plays upon the younger crowd. I would actually say that this could be a real fun family action/fantasy movie... that is if the parent's are a little tolerant of a little violence.

Angels and Demons - If you're a fan of the thriller books that feature Dan Brown's symbyologist and quasi-detective, Robert Langdon, you'll probably appreciate this film. The question is, will people who are not familiar with Brown's mystery thrillers enjoy the flick? In fact they may enjoy it slightly more. Since being a fan of the book, I had a pretty good idea of what was going to go down throughout the film. So a slight edge was taken off for me. Had I not read the book, it may have been a bit more edge of your seat fun for me. In any case, the subject matter is quite riveting. How does an ancient organization of alchemists known as The Illuminati infiltrate and threaten the modern day Vatican? That's the mystery that Tom Hanks' Langdon has to find out in a mere matter of hours before a catastrophe threatens to destroy the Vatican and a good portion of the public which have surrounded the holy place to usher in the voting of a new pope. Of course ancient puzzles help Langdon follow a path that will lead him to the main answer. Though, I enjoyed the film, I'm not sure that it be something that I could watch over and over again. It's a good thriller, but like most thrillers, once you've seen it, that's about all there is. It's something to take mom to and enjoy it for what it's worth. But that's about it.

And, no, I don't feel anymore power hungary or more improtant now that I've somewhat sqewered a few flicks.


Ok, let me end on a couple of notes here....

First of all, do you realize that this past week marked the 10th anniversary of Star Wars, Ep I: The Phantom Menace being released! Not the most popular SW movie, agreed. But it blows my mind that it has already been 10 years since we all stood in line and got our first spoonful of Star Wars geek lovin' big screen film extravaganza in over 16 years prior. Time flies.

Also, take time this weekend to honor those that have served in the millitary and given their lives for our freedom and our country throughout history. It shouldn't matter how you lean politically. You need to cherish the fact that you are allowed to have the political beliefs you do in part to the men and women who payed the ultimate sacrifice so we can have our freedoms.

Enjoy the three day weekend! I'm cigar bound!

Zangz.

My sister has just joined the ranks of Geekdom!

So, if you did not catch my review of Star Trek from earlier this week, you can either scroll below or click HERE for it. Again, I give it 3 thumbs up. My third thumb grows in a funny place and I don't talk about it that much. So let's rapidly move on!


Currently, I am a very proud big brother.

Throughout the years my little sister, Dizzy Lizzy, has always had a hard time understanding my fond love of the genres of the fantastical. She's lived a far more straight laced life with only slight glimmers of any interest in something a bit counter culturally special. She's married and has a decent job that gives here some pretty heavy responsibility at times.

When it came to any interests, there was a passing fancy of The Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies. So I got her the books for X-Mas one year, she only read through Fellowship and let the others collect dust. She seems to pretend to have an interest in the Harry Potter films, but I'm not fully convinced. She shows mild interest in the TV series LOST and will occasionally say something to the effect, "What did you think of the last episode?" Once I start expounding on it, I usually get cut off by my Mom butting into the conversation about something completely different. I try not to blame Mom since she's usually got one or two martini's in her at that time.

My sister never really got it when I'd be excited about going to GenCon (when it was in Milwaukee, not the cheap imitation they have in Indiana now) or about the opening of a Star Wars movie. She was oblivious to the joy my geeky heart felt.

Well, suddenly along comes something she can finally sink her teeth into (pun, quite lame, but still intended) when a bunch of books and films start coming out featuring a brooding young high school vampire named Edward and his betrothed equally brooding and confused love interest, Bella.

I have to admit, when I first heard about this new phenomenon known as Twilight, I was slightly repulsed. I had a good feeling it was overglorified, cheap tweener romance crap for the young females. I was turned off immediately. When the movie opened and became a huge hit garnering it an immense following, I tried hard to pay no attention.

But, somehow, my sister and some of her friends, got immersed in it. My guess is that they have some serious crushes on actor, Robert Pattinson. But that's just a theory.

In any case, my sister has found new and creative ways to celebrate her love for the Twilight series. She attended the DVD release party at midnight at some Borders store and that same day she threw a Twilight themed diner party. She's really lost into this whole phenomenon.

Well, now she's dragged me and her husband, my Bro-In-Law (aka: cigar partner in crime), into the whole frey.

This all came about as I suddenly got a call on our way home from Minneapolis (Roberto, Iris and I visited some friends there last weekend where we gamed, playing Champions of the Emerald Empire). We stopped in Madison to get some Chinese food and that's when I get the call on my cell. My sister informs me that I'm invited to take a road trip in late July with her and my Bo-In-Law down to Houston to visit my dad.

Imeadiatly I'm a bit suspicious as my sister and dad do love each other, but are like vinegar and water when they start talking about certain subjects. Then the truth comes out. She reveals that after we visit Houston and Austin, my Bro-In-Law and I will drive her to Dallas so she and her friend can attend..... TwiCon! Of course we'll head on home while they party it up at the convention.

Now, I could be an elitist geek about it all and point out that vampires actually burn up in the sun and not" thsparkle" (Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose). I could also point out that there were never any actual FANGS or blood sucking or sirring done in the movie. I didn't even tell my sister that the creator of this whole craziness, Stephanie Meyer, needs to be sat down at a gaming table and play several hours of Vampire: The Masquerade to understand how vampire mythology really works. Nope, I didn't.

Know why?

Because I saw this as a new way my sister could actually GET HER GEEK ON!

It's about time she got into something full throttle enough to want to travel cross-country with her brother and husband to find enjoyment in something fantastical.

Now she will understand my love for the genres. Next time she rolls her eyes at some mention of a video game I'm playing or a Sci-Fi movie I'm going to see, she may ease off and thinks before she passes judgement

I may agree to go if there are a couple of stipulations.

1) Dizzy Lizzy gets me the autograph of one of cute actresses from the film. The dirty old man in me is just waiting to break out!

2) Dizzy Lizzy doesn't complain once about feeling car sick/uncomfortable/irritated the WHOLE trip!

3) Myself, my Bro-In-Law and my dad partake in some serious cigar smoking!

I'm hoping this will help us bond! It should be all very interesting and I'll let you all know how it plays out.

In other news....

I finished off the fantasy game Fable II on the good ol' Xbox 360. Those familiar with the first Fable game will know that there was a lot of criticism around it as it was heralded as a huge, epic, RPG that encompassed the entire life of your main character, from childhood to old age. Unfortunately it didn't take that long to play and compared to other huge RPGs out there, there wasn't a lot of areas to discover and travel around in.

The producers of Fable II try hard to correct this with mixed results. Sure, the world is far more lush and much larger, and there's a heck of a lot more quests to go on. But, like the first one, after you've discovered all of the world and played through the main quest, there's not a lot more to be offered.

It took me a while to get into the game, but once I was, I was quite hooked. But, then I completed everything I could, there wasn't much else. And I was quite disappointed in the "final confrontation" with the main villain. There's no challenge. All you have to do is push one button when prompted and that's the end of him. Kind of a waste after you went through all this character build up only to push one button to defeat your main nemesis.

What does Fable II do right? The whole atmosphere is quite beautiful in a Disneyesque way. And again there's far more to do and explore than there was in the first game. I have to admit that it did get quite addictive once your character gets built up enough to get rolling. But, once you get through the game, there's little more to do. There's still more to do after the main battle of this game as compared to its predecessor, but still a bit lacking.

Look. After they've come out with RPG games like Morrowind, Oblivion and Fallout 3, you really need to step up to the plate if you truely want to be an EPIC RPG VIDEO GAME!

Fable II is indeed a great game, but if it wants to compete with the big boys, it should have been even bigger. It's a lot to ask for, but if competing with the rest, it needs to get cooking.

A great RPG game, but lacking when brought up against its competitors.


That's going to be it for this weekend. Please go out and have a cigar on me. And Happy Frackin' Danny Gokey Day! I can hear the press helicopters fly overhead as his little, "I'm in the top three" parade trots around the downtown area.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

Zangz.

The Rebirth of Star Trek.....

...But, only if the hard core Trekkie geeks are smart enough to embrace it!

I was very lucky enough in the fact that my "very good buddy", Spanky was more than kind enough to pick up a few tix for an advanced screening of J.J. Abrams' reboot to the Star Trek movie franchise last night.

The night started with us gorging out on huge gyros at the local Greek restaurant that was not too far from the classic movie theater the preview was shown at. The same one that I met Bruce Campbell at a few years back.

We walked over to the theater and got in a small line of about 10 people. After all, it was only an hour and ten minutes before we would be let into the theater. The line got pretty heavy with in the next 45 minutes. Apparently only 500 free preview tix were handed out for the special showing and many Trekkie's who got their hands on these magical tix showed up.

I was quite a bit disappointed that I didn't see anyone dressed in Federation uniforms or any Klingon's roaming about. I guess that will be for the official opening this weekend. We did meet up with our mutual geek bud, Coreboy and some of his entourage.

It took a while for the "security" (a couple of old dudes and one guy who was way too overweight to chase anybody down) to get their act together and let people into the theater. Once all was under control ('cause, God knows, Trekkie's can be one dangerous bunch of S.O.B's) they let us in, telling us to turn off our cell phones.

Once we found our seats we had to wait some more as local promoters had to organize their little shtick before the movie. Their little Schick was trying to shout over the crowd and name all of the sponsors who helped bring this special preview showing together. The sad thing is that most of us couldn't hear a frellin' thing they said.

Once they were done and out of the way the lights went down and they went right into the movie. There may be some spoilers here folks read on at your own risk, I'll try to black out the spoilers but, I'm not promising anything (highlight to read spoilers). Then the magic started!

First and foremost, this is a really fun Sci-Fi action and adventure movie. Forget that this is Star Trek for a minute. There are some really cool action sequences thrown into this thing that we've never seen in the entirety of the Star Trek motion picture series. There are some cool battleship sequences that doen't involve star ships moving as slow as molasses as we've seen in Wrath of Khan or any of the other Star Trek vehicles in media. The ship battles in this movie are balls out fast paced! There are shoot outs, fist fights and chase scenes that might be new to the the long lasting Star Trek fan. Trust me. This is a good thing.

Now let's get into why this movie truly rocks! Much like the movie Watchmen, the actors really, really care about the core material and those that were before them. It really shows. Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yeclhon and Bruce Geenwood all not only recreate the original Star Trek characters, they pay major homage to them. They really capture their essence and fully deliver without becoming an imitation or parody.

The main villian in this film is not overplayed as in past Trek vehicles. He's a real person with a bit of a legitimate gripe.

There's also a lot of humor in the film that is born from a lot of what we know form the series. Good references!

I have to admit that I was really trepitatious on the casting of Chris Pine as a young Captain James Tiberious Kirk. It seemed that Hollywood decided to cast what more looked like a J. Crew model rather than an actor. But, Chris Pine nailed it out of the park! He got the whole essence of Capt. Kirk without being a cheap imitation. He plays the cockiness and bravado of Kirk excellently. Never once does he become a goofy copy of the original. He gives it life with his own twist on it. I hope Paramount has locked him in to a few sequels!

And Quinto does a great young Spock. Nothing a lot of Heroes fan wouldn't have told you beforehand.

Lets face it, after the last few Star Trek movies, the franchise had died. They were shatting out what were basically made for TV movies of Next Generation. It became a joke and a dead genre.

When J.J. Abrams picked up the torch he really ran for it. Not only has he rekindled the spark, he reignited a whole forest fire. Let that forest burn the frack down, Madre Frellers!

Yes, J.J. does frack with the Star Trek mythose. But, at least he gives an honest explanation of it - highlight to read - (time travel story involving the original Spock), unlike the reboot of the James Bond series which tells fans to forget everything that has happened before, this reboot doesn't do that. J.J. had the respect to give Trekkie's a chance to view this reboot in the original pantheon of stories. He doesn't erase everything that's come before. He gives credit that it happened, but also gives an alternate reality within the historic reality to accept. The question is will fans accept it, or be an elitist bunch of turds to get all cheesed off and offended and dislike it.

Let's face facts. The Star Trek franchise was dying a very slow and painful death. If it weren't for this movie it would have been another 25 years before we saw any original Star Trek media, especially on the big screen!

This is the best thing to happen to this franchise in a long, long time. And if hard core Trekkie's don't have the brains to see what a blessing it is, they will threaten to destroy their very own kingdom. They need to let go of everything they know from the shows and novels and accept the grand gift that is being given to them.

J.J. and the screenwriters went well out of their way to keep the Star Trek story flowing without forgetting everything that has happened since. There is some really clever writing here. Trekkie's need to embrace it rather than be offended.

There are some issues that frack with the original continuity of the series and films, but it's for the good of the whole. There was even one issue that I (a non-Trekkie) had issues with. (Spock and Uhura hook up). I didn't like it. But, I was able to put it aside and accept it. They also really frack up a bit of the Federation and it's planets. (Romulus and Vulcan are destroyed). Though, I'm not convinced that this is a good thing when it comes to die-hard Trekkie's and their feelings, I accept it as I was entertained like I haven't been from a movie in a long, long time. And that's what the Star Trek movies needed!

Spanky is a die hard Trekkie and he loved it to no end. But, when I talked to other Trekkie's as I was leaving the theater, they weren't as enthusiastic. Perhaps they were offended by some of the lush changes that were presented in the movie from the mythos they were used to.

To that I say, grow up! Move out of your parents' basements and accept the love and warmth that is the new Star Trek. It is the only way your kind will survive and I've always believed that you should never look a wonderful gift horse in the mouth!

I say take your family and friends to go see it. It's a hell of a lot of fun. Kudos to the cast, crew and writers for giving Star Trek a good chance to survive.

Embrace it or fall. This is a very entertaining genre film, Trekkie or not!

Live long and prosper..... cliche, but who gives a FRACK:?

Zangz's!

Lost Written Relics of Star Wars Geekiness Unearthed

It's been a month and a half since I wrote jack-spit here on my Blog of Geekdom. There's just nothing that's really been hapnin' since I saw Watchmen.

Let's see. I finished Fable II (review pending). I completed watching every episode of Robin of Sherwood on DVD. The winter is ever so slowly letting go of it's evil grip (It was actually 80 degrees here today, making it a 2 cigar day!). We celebrated a very good friend's 40th B-Day (Iris!). I'm VERY much looking forward to the big Star Trek reboot film from J.J. Abrams. That's about it. Not much else at all.

So feeling uninspired to blog about any current hapenings, I found myself trolling around in some very old files here on my computer. I came across an article I wrote for a very small, very short lived, local independent paper I wrote for about 5 years ago. The subject matter was about waiting in line for Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

Since the springtime hearkens back memories of waiting in line to see the prequels and springtime is trying to break through, I thought I'd post the article here. I don't think it ever got published. And if it was, the owner/publisher A. wont care and B. won't find out since he never checks out this blog.

So without much further adieu, here it is in it's original form and entirety.....

The Last of the Lines

Where plastic light sabers blaze, Jedi and Sith lords rule and that gallon cup of soda shoots right through me, all while in line for “Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith”.

The final puzzle piece of the George Lucas created movie series juggernaut known as Star Wars was finally laid into place with “Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” earlier this spring. You can bet your strap-on Yoda ears that myself and many other geeks were there en force at the Ultrascreen’s midnight showing to reign in the end of the uber-space opera era.

Come with me now and let’s travel back in time to help me relive the experience that is… waiting in line for a Star Wars movie.

First we must designate a time to meet up at the theater. A good eight hours before showtime seems pretty reasonable. We’ll feel sorry for the idiots who will show up only a mere four hours before the doors open. They’ll miss out on the previous 6 hours of getting to stare at people dressed as Jedi and Sith lords.

Next we’re going to converge and meet up with our group at the Ultrascreen and hope to get a good enough place in line so we can weasel ourselves a nice seat in the theater. As we all meet in the parking lot we make our way to the side of the theater where the employees have designated a roped off area for those of us with tickets to the midnight showing. We already see a good gathering of fellow Star Wars fans, some of which have popped tents that they’ve spent the previous night. I’ll bet they’re laughing at us idiots who showed up a mere eight hours before the show and missed the previous 18 hours of… staring at each other in a tent.

After we get our tickets redeemed for wristbands, we get ourselves situated in line sitting in our fold-out chairs. We then notice a five year old girl having a plastic light saber battle with her father. How cute. We also notice two thirty year old men dressed in Jedi robes wacking at each other with similar toys. Not as cute, but still amusing. It makes me feel better about myself in the fact that I have an Aalya Secura (cute, blue, female Jedi knight) action figure tucked away in my coat pocket. She will love me someday… SHE WILL LOVE ME!!! .…ahem.

Now we start to get hungry and decide to break from the pack to go on a recon mission and obtain some food. The nearby McDonald’s will suffice and we return with edibles for the group and 2 quarter pounders that will hopefully sit nicely in my stomach for the duration of the evening. I‘ll wash them down with a big-ass soda from a cup with Obi-Wan Kenobi’s likeness on it while hoping that Ewan McGreggor got a real good deal by marketing his likeness to the Lucasfilm folks in the “Episode III” merchandising onslaught.

As the evening grows on and the anticipation rises, we notice more and more people crowd into the line creating even more plastic light saber battles, more Jedi and storm troopers join the fray and more news reporters and news trucks start appearing at an alarming rate. Things are getting exciting, but slightly dampened for me as I must get up out of line about once an hour and make a pilgrimage over to the nearby Target store’s men’s room as the previous mentioned Tub of Kenobi soda starts to take effect upon my bladder.

We’re closing in at the point of the Ultrasceen opening its doors and allowing the stampede of us dorks to invade the theater. People in line are cleaning up their messes, folding up their tables and chairs, taking down their tents and whipping out their lap tops to watch a few episodes of the animated Star Wars shorts “Clone Wars” or to view the trailer to “Episode III” for the thirty billionth time.

Suddenly we notice that there is movement at the head of the line! People start rustling through the roped off line toward the doors! The time is finally here! We wave our wristbands in front of the face of the theater usher and move as quickly as we can to decent enough area of the theater and plop our junk food filled, Jedi lovin’ asses in our seat.

The rest of the evening is pure magic as we guess this will probably be the last time we’ll be able to join together and enjoy a film that is Star Wars Valhalla. Now it’s only four and a half months until “Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith” is out on DVD. When do you think we should start to line up for that?

That's all I got for today. Perhaps more old relics will be posted soon. Until next time, stay vertical!

Zangz.

The WATCHMEN has been WATCHED!

I remember reading the graphic novel in the early 90's. A good 5 years after it's initial release. The Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons comic changed all of comicdom forever and upon it's first reading I could tell why. A grand, epic and dark story of an alternate history of 1985 where Nixon is still president, we're seeped deep into the Cold War and costumed heroes actually exist and and run amongst the city "protecting" it people. That is until they are abolished and are forced to loose the capes and masks and try and live real lives. Part murder mystery, part commentary on society's ills and part pulp action comic, Watchman proved that comics weren't just for kids anymore and that not all costumed heroes had all of society's best interests in mind. It forced comic companies and writers to look at new aspects of the medium that were quite a bit more dark, sad and gritty.

Since last weekend was filled with 40th B-day festivities for my good friend Iris Von Beaverhousen, I sadly did not get to go out and see the movie. But, I made time after work on Tuesday night to shuffle over to a local megaplix and sit down for the good 3 hours and view the movie.

I have to admit that when I first heard that Hollywood was going to adapt the piece of literary art into a movie, I was really worried. I knew how epic the story of the comic was and I thought there was no frellin' way they were going to do any type of tasteful homage to the comic. How the frack were they going to fit that big of a story and plot into a film. A miniseries, maybe. But, a film? Could anyone really capture the full extent of the graphic novel in a movie???? Then I heard that Terry Gillaim's name was bandied about as a potential director. This peaked my interest as hope that perhaps someone with the right tools could bring the story to the big screen. Then after a while, for whatever reason, Gilliam's involvement with the film dissolved and we fans of the comic were left wondering, "Well, what's next?"

After a few years news on the potential movie didn't surface. In the meantime a phenomenally awesome flick based on the Frank Miller comic, "300" was turned into a movie and directed by Zack Snyder. It was beautifully done and one of my personal faves.

Then I heard that Zach was going to take the rains of the Watchmen film. I started to get a little excited again. I loved 300 and wondered what Snyder could bring to the immense story of Watchmen. I, again, got the hope that someone had the capable hands to translate this dense, yet incredible story to the big screen.

I wasn't disappointed. Upon my viewing I found that the flavor of the comic was consistent and I was pleased with the outcome, overall. I can't say there were any major complaints about the film. Perhaps some very small quibbles.

I still feel that perhaps two movies would have covered the epic saga a bit better. There were some important parts of the comic that were understandably omitted, yet still important to the original story. The comic's chapters are separated by verse. The verse can be considered short stories that link the main story together. A lot of these are completely omitted or are converted to the opening credits. Not a horrible mistake, by any means. Especially since they were tasked with turning the epic into a motion picture. But, some of the real story is cut out. The mini-story of The Tales of the Black Freighter is nowhere to be seen. I feel that this is one of the key story points. They're going to release it as an animated DVD later this month, but I felt it should have been part of the main story of the movie. I do understand how they only had so much room for the points they wanted to convey in the movie. But, I was still saddened to see that it didn't make it into the film.

The film is almost 3 hours long. I really worry that people not familiar with the comic might be turned off by the running time. If you're a fan of the comic, you'll have a vast appreciation of the film. If you're some lame schmo off the street who is not at all familiar with the subject matter, you may be looking at your watch two hours into the movie. (At which point you deserve to be slapped upside the back of your feeble head.)

What does make this movie rock? The actors are a major factor in turning this literary piece of wonderment into a motion picture! Milan Akerman, Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earl Haley, Billy Crudup (even if he was dumb enough to leave Mary Louis Parker), Mathew Gooode, Jeffery Dean Morgan, Carla Giugino, Matt Frewer (Max Headroom), and even bit player like the beautiful Apollonia Vanova,( who has no speaking part and is only featured in the credits), are what make this film a triumph and all deserve golden statues!! Rorschach and The Comedian are the psychoes we feared and loved from the books! Silk Spectre I and II are both as desirable and tragic as they were in the comic. And Night Owl is the geek you cheer for who gets the hot cheerleader in the end. They all seem to devour what the comic's characters are. They really bring them to life. They all have full understanding of who they play and make them a real entity for the screen! As a fan of the comic I found this to be the film's biggest asset! They all seemed to really care for Moore and Gibbon's superheroes.... and villains.

The effects are frackin' good and the action / fight sequences are darn brutal! Perhaps even more so than the comic. There is some great fight choreography and some intensely violent action sequences in this film. Fine by me.

The ending to the film is changed slightly from the book. This may erk some hard core fans. It also ends on a slightly more upbeat feeling than the book did (Hollywood does have to whore itself a bit, doesn't it?). But that's minimal when you look at the big picture.

So, if you're a big fan of the orignal comic, you really need to take a look at it. If you're not, you may have a hard time dealing with the 3 hour storyline. But. please, sit through it! If you have a soul and a brain you'll really get it. If you're a geek, like me, you'll want to see it in the theater and then buy it on DVD! The acting really brings these charters and movie to full life. 'Cause Snyder really tries as hard as he can to bring the whole monster to the big screen and succeeds quite well! You can tell he is a fan of the core material, and it really shows. Though, it's not quite up there with The Dark Knight or Iron Man, this puppy has a special little place in the comics to film genre. You'd be less of a person or geek to not go see Watchmen!


I'm going to go have some dinner, so please, until next time, Stay vertical! And God bless the likes of Milan Akerman, Carla Giugino, and Apollonia Vanova! What can I say. I'm a goofy fan-boy.

Zangz!

Saints Row 2 vs. Grand Theft Auto 4: Compare and Contrast.

I know it's been a month since I last posted here, but February really sucked the life out of me. The cold, the snow and the destruction of our national economy as a lasting remnant of the previous administration was a real bummer. On top of that, February isn't really that great of a month. It's just a lot of snow and cold and nothingness.

Right now Spring is trying so very hard to peek its head out from Winter's gloom. The last couple of days have been sunny and "warm" (high 40's to low 60's). It's pouring rain right now which is sucha vast improvement from that god awful snow that I can live with it!

I spent much of the month of February doing exactly what a self respecting geek would do. Playing video games on the good ol' '360! Right now I'm between several different games.

I still haven't finished Fallout 3 which I took a break from for a while. I also find myself popping back in and out of Grand Theft Auto 4 (GTA4) which also is far from being completed. Then there's Fable II which I haven't quite gotten to far in as of yet. The little gem I find myself going back to again and again and again is Saint's Row 2 (SR2)

Saint's Row 2 can be described as GTA4's bastard, unruly son. Both are open world, crime simulation games with big cities to race around in, chase around in and create as much destruction and bedlam as possible. However, I'm currently finding SR2 far more entertaining than GTA4. SR2's controls are 100% better, the freedom is far more reaching and the amount of customization is just crazy! Add to that the mini-games within the city are far more addictive than any of the actual missions in GTA4.

When I recently went back to GTA4 and drove around the city a bit, I found steering the car a monumental task. Try and take a curb at a fast speed and you'll find yourself in an uncontrollable power-slide that is hard to recover from. In SR2 you can take curbs and do a very controlled power-slide AND get extra points for doing so.

Your character in SR2 (that you create from the get go - we'll get into this in a bit) can pretty much run rampant throughout the imaginary city of Stillwater all they want. Sure the cops will chase you, but that's half the fun. You can pretty much do the same in GTA4, but I find the IA police a bit more relentless in their pursuit. Sure, this is more challenging, but is it more fun? You also have to constantly manage relationships with many of the side characters in GTA4. Imagine you're out exploring what Liberty City has to offer and suddenly your cousin, your girlfriend or your drug supplier calls up on your cell and wants to go do something with you. If you don't they wont help you out later in the game. And they call ALL THE TIME! It's great to get immersed in a virtual world, but this ain't The Sims!

The customization of your character in SR2 is far and vastly superior in every way shape and form when compared to GTA4! In GTA4 you get the male, Russian character of Niko Belik. A lovable rogue if there ever was one. But, outside of his limited amount of clothing, you're stuck with the designer's' character they have created for you. In SR2 it's a whole other monster. A monster you can create from the ground up! At the beginning stage of the game you choose if you want your character to be male or female, athletic or fat, have a big or small nose, have beady or large eyes. I don't even want to go into the hair options 'cause you'd be here reading it for next few hours. Needless to say, my character is a male with jet black, mulletized hair with bright purple dye in it's back who has a King Diamond goatee, Alice Cooper eye makeup and wears tight black jeans with skull and crossbones t-shirt. He speaks in an East Ender English accent and occasionally sports cop sunglasses. For a nominal fee of money you obtain in the game, you can go to many of Stillwater's plastic surgeons and change the look, swager and attitude of you character as well as darn near anything else you want. That way you're not stuck with the same look for the entire game.

Not only is your character uber-customizable, so are the many autos you can obtain the game. There are a few special designed cars you can't change, but they are far and few between when compared to the insane amount of vehicles that can be taken to a Stillwater mechanic to have paint jobs, upgrades and awesome stylization. In GTA4 you can take a car to a mechanic who will fix it up and give it a paint job of the game's choosing. Not your own. You can also customize your own radio station or just listen to the many that Stillwater has.

Now, am I saying that SR2 is far superior than GTA4? Not at all. Let's look at the overall quality of the games. GTA4 wins hands down. The story and game are far more epic. The details are incredibly more in depth. Just look at how Liberty City mirrors many of the aspects of the actual Big Apple. It's darn right spooky at times! Also GTA4 is a far longer game than SR2. SR2 has a heck of a lot of missions to get through before you complete the main storyline, but I finished it in less than a month. I bought GTA4 nearly a year ago and my Niko is still being sent out on missions. And GTA4's graphics are several grades up the color ramp than SR2's. SR2's are a bit cartoony where GTA4's are quite in-depth and gritty.

Here's what it feels like. The guys at Volition played through many of Rock Star's GTA games and said, "Let's make a mirror copy of this kind of game, but let's make it less restrictive and concentrate on giving it a more playground feel to it rather than overly challenging and dark and gritty."

This is why I found myself playing through SR2 one entire time with my English King Diamond Alice cooper character and then starting it all over again with a newly created character (a cute but deadly Goth chick!). I rarely do that. Once I play through an entire game I go onto something else. Like I said, I have a couple I need to get back to, fer crissakes!

Sure, I hope to pop into Liberty City again and complete the game at some point. But, right now I'm having a blast in Stillwater! GTA4 might be the better all around game, but SR2 is fun as hell!!!!

'Nuff said there.


You know, I'm finding myself quite the Anglophile as of late when it comes to renting DVDs. I just completed seasons 1 and 2 of The Tudors and now I'm starting on the 25 year old Britsh series, Robin of Sherwood. There's something about English history and legends that has gotten a hold of me recently (and, NO! It's not Natalie Dormer or a young Judi Trott you pervs! Well...not totally).

I found the fate of Anne Boleyn, of The Tudors, both tragic and slightly self deserved. Sure, it's weaselly to sleep your way into monarchy for your kaniving family. It's a whole other thing to be falsely accused of things you never did and sentenced to public death just because King Henry's ego has been bruised. Karma can be one brutal sledgehammer of payback.

So, I'm watching Robin of Sherwood this morning and I'm looking at the bloke who plays Jack Scarlet. I'm lookin' at him and lookin' at him and going,"God, I know that guy". I get my answer in the end credits. Scarlet is played by Ray Winstone who was Mac in Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! He also voiced Beowulf in the GD animated movie of the same name (useless Zangz's pop culture item #556).

I remember watching the sword and sorcery show in the late 80's on Sunday afternoon where they aired on the local public television station. I forgot how piss poor the sound quality was. The music was this soft Enya-esque keyboard slop that they must have recorded in someone's basement. Then instead of using quality sound effects, they used what was recorded on set live. So instead of Clank, Clank Clank during a sword duel you hear, tink, tink, tink. When someone gets punched you hear, pat, pat, pat, instead of SMACK, SMACK, SMACK! I find the poor quality of sound in this show really disturbing. Perhaps I'm spoiled with what we have now on today's TV show sound. I still enjoy the storytelling the show has to offer.

Anyway, I can see I'm rambling on endlessly and will call it a day here soon. I do need to start to prepare for some covert hi-jinx involving a very good friend turning 40. Welcome to the club, Honey.

That's it. I'm outta here.

Zangz.