Families...Hug your little Hobbits!

I might not be a parent, but I am an uncle to a wonderfully precocious twenty month old little girl we call "Lil G".  If anything would ever happen to her, it would leave our family devastated into a realm of eternal darkness.

The travesty in Connecticut this weekend sent the world into a dark and horrible place where young, innocent lives were snuffed out for no good reason at all by a mad, delusional, gun toting, cowardly monster .

These sort of tragedies are starting to occur a little more often than they should.  Those of us who may be more open to the worlds of the fantastic would akin it to the rising of Sauron in J.J.R. Tolkein's fantasy series, The Lord of the Rings.

After wallowing in the sadness of Friday afternoon, I found I wanted to escape reality for a while.  Having had a pretty heavy work week, I almost forgot that Peter Jackson's magnum opus prequel to his Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, was opening that day.  I decided to treat myself and go see the 3D showing of the movie.

It may sound trivial, shallow and infantile to mix these two subjects in a blog post, but quite honestly, it's my way to cope.  The world can be an ugly place and it's the realms of fantasy that can briefly take us away from it.

At the last minute I was lucky enough to find a single seat in a showing that was nearly sold out.  I didn't fully intend on seeing the 48 fps / 3D showing, but it was the earliest showing I could get into and I didn't want to be stuck waiting in the theater's bar for over three hours before the next available showing.

I'll try and make this brief and spoiler free as possible.

Let me hit upon some of the issues that have been brought up in many other on line reviews.  First the whole 48 Frames Per Second "issue" that was brought up a few months ago after theater owners were shown some footage and didn't like it at all.

Truth be told, it's not an issue.  The film looked pretty darn good!  Almost lifelike without it turning into a whole Sid and Marty Kroft Productions type look.  It was snappy and crisp with the 3D adding to it's grand visual vibe.  I had no problems with it.  It still retains a film feel, but not nearly as much as the previous Lord of the Rings (LOTR) movies did.  Some may take issue with that, but it took nothing away from me.

Second, no, this isn't quite the same feel as the LOTR trilogy.  It still has the same settings and set decor look that LOTR had, but the story felt a little more rushed.  A hell of a lot was thrown into the two plus hours of the film.  There was a slower cadence in the LOTR that seems to be missing here.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.  Just different.

Third, I didn't feel quite as emotionally invested in the characters as I was in the last films.  Don't get me wrong, Martin Freeman is a delight as Bilbo Baggins and Richard Armitage is kickin' ass and taking no prisoners as Dwarven king, Thorin Oakensheild.  And of course Andy Serkis is phenomenal as Gollum, especially in the pivitol "quiz" part of the story.  It may be the fast pace that takes over the movie in the 2nd half that may have something to do with it.  It may also be that you have to concentrate on a group of twelve dwarfs as opposed to a few hobbits.  I have the feeling that we're in for more character development in the next two films (The Desolation of Smaug and There and Back Again).

Fourth.... CG'd Orcs.  This was really the only big thorn in my side about the movie.  I'd pick an actor in a rubber orc suit to play the main villain over an obviously computer generated one any day.  It ends up looking like a character who should have been in Brave rather than The Hobbit.

It may sound like I really wasn't into the film.  But, nothing could be further from the truth.  I thought that The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was an excellent film and just the right ticket to get my mind off of the horrible events that occurred earlier that day.  At least for a little while.

If you loved The Lord of the Rings trilogy of films, you will also love The Hobbit, but perhaps not quite in the same way.  If you're a fan of the novel and you are someone who has read it many times, this film will be pure magic for you as Jackson and the other script writers have gone well out of their way to make sure that there are pivotal scenes and little nuances that you will recognize and love.

I can tell you that when the film came to an end the audience applauded with enthusiasm and I pretty sure I heard an actual "Squeeee!" of joy come from someone in the theater.  Deservedly so.

Much like the LOTR trilogy always leaving me wanting more, this film left me excited for next year's sequel, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.  If we can make it through that whole Mayan end of the world thing this coming Friday, we're in for a real treat next X-Mas as well as the 2014 holiday season.

I'm not sure that I'll be posting on or around the Christmas holiday, so if I don't.....

HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY X-MAS!

And if you have little hobbits running about in your home, be sure to give them and extra special hug this season.

Stay vertical!

Zangz.

SKYFALL!!!!!

Where the hell to begin this post is something I've been mulling over for the last few days after my Friday night viewing of the 23rd installment of the James Bond movie series.  Where does one start with a masterpiece that is so epic and important to the history of James Bond?  I guess I'll start right here....

FRACKIN' EPIC SUCCESS!  Congrats to Sam Mendes, Barbara Broccoli, Michael G. Wilson, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, and John Logan for giving us one of the best Bond films of all time!

Yes, I'm still gushing over it.  I was hoping that the two days of space would give me time to be able to plant my feet in reality and give a decent, fair handed review.  But, I'm still crushing over it like a silly school girl.

Before I venture forth into the world of espionage and techno terrorism, I should warn all of you folks who have dilly dallied and not gone to see the film yet, that my review will have SPOLIERS, since it is damned impossible to not go over this movie and not let some cat out of some sort of bag.  So....

SPOILERS AHEAD!  READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK!

S K Y F A L L

 

We we're all under the impression that we'd already seen the "reboot" of the James Bond series in Daniel Criag's first outing as Ian Fleming's super, British spy when Casino Royale hit movie theaters.  After seeing Skyfall, I realized that the reboot was just starting with Casino and that Skyfall is the actual finale of the reboot which becomes very apparent by the end of the film.

This film is what Quantum of Solace should have been.  Or at least Quantum should have been every bit as powerful of a story as Skyfall is.  But, it wasn't and although Quantum is a darn fine Bond film, it is no match for Skyfall and proves its weaknesses a little more harshly if viewed along side Skyfall.

The storyine of Skyfall is simple enough.  M and Bond lose a disk drive that contains the actual names and covers of all of the NATO agents that have infiltrated terrorist organizations.  The disk gets into the hands of a former MI6 agent, Silva, that had worked for MI6, under M, and has a major bone to grind with her.  He has become a techno terrorist of supreme power and not only starts to release the identities of the NATO agents on YouTube (of all places), but also seeks revenge on M and creates major destruction for MI6.  Bond, who has fallen off the map for a while, must get his act together and confront and stop Silva.  Seems basic enough, but there's a hell of a lot more to the story.

When I say Skyfall is epic, I'm not just using trendy jargon.  It clocks in at over two hours and never feels like that time has taken place.  You'll walk out of the theater looking at your watch saying to yourself, "Is it really that late?" Perhaps that has to do with the fact the you'll be riveted to the screen during the entire duration of the film.  The storyline will pull you in and never quite let go.  Never has a Bond movie ever been quite so personal and important to both Bond's history as well as his future.  Major events play out in this film that alters the Bond story as we have recently known it, while also solidifying where Bond is going in the future.  It does so in a way that is both jarring and comforting.  And that is one of the reasons that this film succeeds so well!

There are plenty of the usual Bond trappings that are honored here.  The action sequences are the kind of "seat of your pants" fare that Bond fans come to expect.  But, these scenes carry a little more grit your teeth and hold on for dear life weight to them than I have seen in recent films.  The opening motorcycle / train chase through Istanbul is a nail bitter, for sure.  There is also a beautifully shot, brutal fight sequence in a Shanghai sky scraper that is presented in silhouette against the animated city lights that is incredible and also creates more nail biting.  And the grand finale, battle royale that takes place at the movie's namesake is as explosive as any other Bond movies' grand finale ever was.  You'll be left with fleshy, bloody stumps for nails once you're done with this film.

Bond travels to exotic and down right creepy locales around the world to catch up to Silva.  The Bond women are beautiful and independent.  Well, one of them is independent.  The other is..... I'll leave that for you to find out.

Since it is the 50th anniversary of the Bond series, there are a lot of subtle nods, winks and shoulder pokes to past Bond films.  One welcome set piece is the introduction of Bond's Astin Martin that got a round of applause in the theater when it first appeared on screen where I saw it.

The gadgets are back in more subtle and not too out of this world ways as in past movies.  Q is back as well.  He's no longer an elder gentleman, but a young lad with very proficient computer and techno skills.  There's also one more welcome character that........ well.  Another treat I'll leave for you guys.  Tee Hee.  (No!  It's Not Tee Hee from Live and Let Die.  Tee Hee as in wicked giggle.)

Lets try and barrel through my assessment of the actors and characters they play as I see that this post is already getting pretty winded.  (MORE SPOILERS AHEAD!)

James Bond (Daniel Craig) - Bond is a broken individual in this chapter and he needs to regain his footing and rediscover his bond with M, his superior, to be able tocome out triumphant.  Arguably possibly the best Bond of all time, Craig dishes out the most dramatic Bond yet.  He even gets in a few good quips that have been somewhat lacking in the past two films.  Excellent job and I'm very pleased he's signed on to do two more Bond films.

Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem) - THE best Bond villain of all time, easily!  People will be comparing Bardem's Silva to Heath Ledger's Joker (The Dark Night) for years to come.  A complete and twisted mastermind that is hell bent on revenge and has no qualms with killing innocent people.  There is one scene with Silva where he exposes the physical damage that he incurred while under M's leadership that is the single most disturbing and creepy moment in any of the James Bond movies EVER!  You will have nightmares!  You'll also see just how bat-shite-crazy Silva is in the last moments of the film.  Complete, wonderful nutter!

M (Dame Judy Dench) - Having played Bond's superior at MI6 since 1995's GoldenEye, Dench has become the best M ever.  Here she pulls off her most involved M roll since the series began.  She is a delight to watch whether she is chastising Bond or fighting along side him (Yep, that happens) she is a treat.

Q (Ben Whishaw) - It has been a while since we've seen a Q (MI6's Quartermaster) in a 007 movie.  And it is a welcome reunion.  Whishaw portrays his Q with an overconfidence that is strong, yet not annoying.  Him and Bond size each other up in a wonderful way and find a mutual respect for each other that I hope will carry on through future Bond films.  I think Wishaw will be a fine fit for Q in future Bond adventures.

Eve (Naomie Harris) - Initially introduced as a fellow MI6 field agent who teams up with Bond in the opening Istanbul sequence, we immediately see that her kick-assery is a testament to the modern "Bond Girl".  Maybe not the best shot, but one hell of a driver.  By the end of the film you'll see there is more to her character in relation to the Bond legend.  I've kept my eye on Naomie since I first saw her in one of my favorite zombie / plague movies, 28 Days Later and then as the mysteriously beautiful (yet in need of some serious dentistry) Tia Dalma in the Pirates of the Caribbean films.  She is a very welcome addition to the Bond film(s).  I think I have a new favorite Bond girl.  Sorry Famke.

Severine (Berenice Marlohe) - Marlohe puts a bit of wickedness and tragedy into this character.  I wish she had more screen time and played a lager role as she is one of the most visually stunning Bond Girls I've seen, yet is not just a pretty face.

Chairman Gareth Mallory (Ralph Fiennes) - At first you'll find Mallory a bit of a prickly sort as he puts both M and Bond to task when they lose the important drive.  But, in the end you'll feel he just might be a good standing character who could contribute quite a lot to MI6 and the James Bond legend.  Heck, he even gets in on the gun play action.  Old Voldermort has big shoes to fill.

Did I have any qualms with the film?  Not much at all.  Though, I liked the score, but didn't love it as I usually do with the Bond Films.  There were choice moments when the traditional Bond theme was infused in the music, but there were other times where I felt the music didn't feel like a Bond film at all.  At those times I was taken out of the Bond mythos and felt it could be any other movie.  If that even counts as a qualm, I guess that would be the only one.

This was no problem for me since I found myself riveted to the film from start to finish, but those with less of a tolerance may feel the movie is a bit long.  Any true James Bond fan will feel that the story that is being told needs an epic timeframe to let the tale settle nicely.

I know this is taking up a lot of time, but I'd be seriously remise if I didn't mention the wonderful work of cinematographer Roger Deakins.  He has filmed one of the most beautiful Bond movies in history.  The visuals and colors he's captured are beyond anything I've ever seen in Bond films.  If you're a lover of film, you'll loose you mind over what Mr. Deakins has gifted us with.  Bravo, sir!

Final thoughts?  I know that this is probably one of the best Bond films of all time as it is one of my favorites and I'll have to mull over in what order they fall into.  Top three?  Most definitely!

SPOILER!

It is most certainly the most dramatic Bond film ever!  There are things that happen in this film that are catastrophic to the Bond legend that will blow a Bond fan's mind clear into the sky.  Ten minutes before the end of this film my mouth was agape at a single moment that had just transpired before my eyeholes that left me speechless.  I had heard rumors, but didn't actually think it was going to happen.   It did. 

But, by the very end of the movie I was assured everything was going to be ok, like a small child being tucked into bed after having a nightmare.  The last scene of this film will take hard core Bond fans to a wonderful warm little place that we call..... home.  Trust me.  All the stars are in alignment, we are in familiar territory and we are left basking in the warmth of our mother's bosom.  We really, really are home! 

The film leaves us wanting to dive immediately into the next James Bond adventure, hoping that it will not be another four year wait.  I do worry about how the next Bond film will top or even equal the magic that Skyfall is.  Now they all have their work cut out for them.

GO SEE THIS FILM NOW AND STAY VERTICAL!!!!

Come this Friday, its all about 007!

The spooks have returned to the dark side for another year.  Those that fear the dark can now walk freely out in it without any worry of their soul or brains being left compromised for the dead to steal or feast upon.  Another Halloween has come and gone and I'm hoping you all had a great one and had the opportunity to do at least one thing spooky this past season.

I usually end up lamenting the Halloween season and usually use the first post after the holiday to complain, bash and generally blaspheme against the upcoming X-mas season.  Well, I'm not going to waste any energy doing so this year.  Why?  Well, usually after Halloween I have little to look forward to except cold, snowy weather and a severely injured bank account.  But, this year there is reason to be joyous!

Come this Friday, we'll all be singing the praises of Barbara Broccoli, Michael G. Wilson and Sam Mendes as they bring us, what is being touted as, THE best James Bond movie of the decade, Skyfall.

I devoted a complete blog post (may have spoilers to major plot points!) to my anticipation of this movie a while back and now the week has come where Bond will return to the theaters after a small delay due to a legal bout when MGM went bankrupt and incompetent lawyers were lagging on getting matters resolved so production on this wonderment could commence.

Friday's the day!  I have a reserved ticket to a 7:00 PM showing at a local theater and I find myself counting the minutes.  I'll be seeing it with the same people and in the same theater that I saw the last Bond film.  It's no secret that I've been a Bond fan for a very long time and the excitement when a new movie comes out is sometimes uncontrollable.

Even though I gave the last Bond adventure, Quantum of Solace some great praises in the review I posted here, I have to admit, that compared to its predecessor, Casino Royale, it was greatly lacking in both characterization and story telling.  Early reviews of Skyfall state the complete opposite.  Not only is Skyfall rumored to have an incredible story line that really explores Bond's past and demons, it also tackles his relationship with his superior, "M", a Bond fan favorite character.

there's also the matter of the main villain, Silvo, who is rumored to be one of the best Bond villains since Blofeld and Goldfinger.

Ya know, it sounds like I'm already giving the movie a review before I've even seen it.  I'll tell you what.  You can bet your sweet bippy that I'll have my review posted within the next week.  And I don't intend it to be completely spoiler free as there are some major things that get rattled about within the Bond mythos that take place in this film.

Ok, then.  The next post you'll read on this blog will be the review of the movie

S K Y F A L L.

I can't frackin' wait!  STAY VERTICAL!

Halloween Comes, Cthulhu Rises and a Mouse Acquire the Galactic Empire.....

This shall be my final post of the Halloween season.  For tomorrow night ushers in the end of "the time of the dead", where the unliving, ghouls and shadows of the night crawl back to the netherworld for another year.  It's always hard to say goodbye to the best season of the entire year only to then have to hunker down and brace oneself for the craptastic holiday season.  But, I think I had a pretty good run this year.

I went to three Haunted Attractions, dank numerous Octoberfests and Pumpkin ales, went to a couple of Halloween parties and watched quite a few Halloween themed YouTube videos, some of which I shared with you all here on my blog.

I'd like to share one more big one with you.  Throughout the last decade or so I got myself aquatinted with the spooky world of the Cthulhu  Mythos that was created by the late author H.P. Lovecraft.  Lovecraft's works have greatly influenced the modern horror genre.  It would take up quite a few blog posts to explain exactly what I'm posting about.  So, as a special Halloween treat, I give you a documentary on the author and his writings.  Even if you're not aquatinted with Lovecraft's works, I think you'll find this show very interesting.  It's a bit on the long side.  So I suggest you turn off the lights, sit down with your last Octoberfest or pumpkin ale and your favorite snack and enjoy the world of Cthulhu.

That's probably the most educational thing I've posted here in the history of this blog.  I think I just gained a +20 to my Intelligence roll.  I hope you enjoyed it and found it interesting as hell.


Ok.  I didn't plan to write about anything Star Wars related during the Halloween season, but how can I not mention the big ass Star Wars news elephant that is sitting in the middle of the room as of today.  If you've had your head up a Bantha's sphincter for the last several hour, it was announced that the Walt Disney Corporation will acquire all of Lucasfilms as well as all the rights to all things Star Wars.

HOLY FRACKIN' CRAP!!!!!

Talk about a mind blowing announcement!  Oh, but wait.  There's more.  Disney plans to actually make Star Wars, Episodes 7 through 9.  George Lucas has vehemently denied that these movies would ever get made.  But, since he's selling his Star Wars empire to Disney for FOUR BILLION dollars I guess The House of Mouse needs to make a few bucks back.  God I hope they don't frell these films up.

I have mixed feelings about this.  On one hand I'm always cautious of a uber-conglomerate taking control of anything I love.  Huge corporations usually have only one thing on the mind, and that's $$$$$$$.  And they usually are quite quick to compromise and distort anything beloved by millions for the ultimate, almighty dollar.  Disney is no exception.

But, on the good side, they did buy Marvel Entertainment and look how friggin' good Marvel's The Avengers turned out to be.  If they focused on the fans wants and needs for Star Wars, they could really bring some exciting stuff to the table.  We'll have to wait this all out and see what transpires.


And that is it for the Halloween Season for me.  The next thing to get excited about?

And to all of you......

Stay Vertical all you ghosties and ghoulies and long leggedy beasties!

Revisiting Old Haunts

This past Friday me and my old spook hunting buddy, Roberto, took to the old country roads in search of ghosts and ghouls and things that wander throughout the night.  We decided that we were going to visit two local Haunted Attractions that were not too far from Roberto's home.  We've visited these haunts before and were wondering how they had changed this year.

One haunt we visited for the first time just last year.  The other haunt we hadn't visited in a few years.

We didn't have a Mystery Machine, but we did have a Nissan SUV and a Tom Tom unit that helped us guide our way.  The first haunt that we visited was pretty easy to find since it was just down the highway from Roberto's.  It was an old, abandoned High School known as.....

HAUNTED HIGH - Touted as being America's only haunted high school and largest Midwestern haunt that would be closing after this year's haunt season, how could we say no?  The building itself is large, dimly lit from the outside and a bit foreboding.  The wait to get in wasn't too bad as we got there just before the haunt started its walkthroughs.  The only annoyance was the group of tweeners yapping and yelling and acting like a bunch of buffoons in front of us.  This is why most of us who are grown up detest the Justin Beiber and Twighard crowds.  Bleh.

Things looked a lot better once we saw that they were relegated to go through in their own group leaving us with a few other adults.  Heaven be praised!  The show got on the road once we went through a small door and went down a staircase that led us down into the dark bowels of the old school.

Having visited this haunt last year we were expecting a few changes and upgrades since then.  Unfortunately, there were very few if any at all.  I suppose when you're running a haunt that will be in its last year, I guess you figure, "Why spend more money on anything that will not be used again."  The facility will be torn down in the year to come to make way for affordable apartments.

This haunt did not change that much from the last time I reviewed it last year.  So read my old review here for a slightly more in depth description of the haunt.  One improvement they did make was that they had no Glee tie-in this year that kind of dumbed down the climax of last year's show.

It's sad to see a haunt close down when it still had a lot of room to grow and get better.  Oh, well.  On to our next dark adventure.

The next haunt was about 10 miles away, out in the countryside.  Being out in the middle of nowhere on a deathly cold night with only the full moon as your only light certainly added to the ambiance of our next haunted attraction.......

THE DARK SIDE - The first couple of times we visited this haunt, we always left feeling that it was a good solid spookfest that, in time, could grow and change to be a big haunt.  And it looks like they've tweaked some things and have added to the experience.  It was definitely an improvement since we were last there.  The waiting area has changed from being an outdoor wait to being inside of a huge and very dark hay barn.  You can barely make out the giant grim reaper that towers over the crowd as we wait to go through.  I guess if I had any issues with this haunt, it would be the wait.  It is a very long wait in a unheated barn.  Dress warm since they let 25 people people through at a time (at first) and then wait a good 15 minutes for the next 25.  We arrive at the haunt at around 8 PM and didn't start to go through the haunt until 9 PM.

But, once we got going and were led outside of the barn, the creep show started!  We were told the spooky history of the farmland and then led up a hill to a creepy old mine shaft.  The groups of 25 were then broken down into groups of 2 or 3.

The mine shaft was the first of the sections that this big haunt was broken down into.  "Decent" was the first chapter in the Dark Side's haunted farm.  The old mine that we had to traverse was one of the highlights of the haunt.  Great setting and effects!  It plopped us out to the next chapter, a moonlight tractor ride through the dark woods called Twilight Nightmare (not at all to be confused with the horrible, glimmery vampires!).  This part of the haunt included some fire breathing dragons and totems. It also had some ghouls come along for the ride.

The tractor plopped us out at the next section of the haunt, "Backwoods Revenge".  The walk in the woods featured a plethora of inbred hillbillies stalking us as we made our way through a graveyard and a messy butcher shop.

Once we found our way out of the woods, we came to a small corn maze filled with more hillbillies ("Schizophrenia").  These rednecks went out of their way to keep us going in circles for a while before we found the last attraction, "Foxglove Nursery".  Imagine a plant nursery where some sort of toxic chemical gets mixed with the plant life within.  There are a few plant people we had to contend with to find our way back out to the parking lot and to safety.

I have to tell you that the price hike from the years past was well invested.  They've added a lot more here and have gotten their barring on how to run an outdoor haunt.  The haunt lasts around the 40 minute mark which is pretty fantastic!  The wait can be a bit of a grind and they could put a few more effects during the tractor ride to pace it out better.  But, in the end it was fantastic!

So I visited three haunts this season, two more than last year.  I don't think I'll be lucky enough to go to to the six or more that I did in the good old days.  But, I enjoy the ones I can visit.


Speaking of visiting haunts, here's another virtual visit to a wonderful haunt through the magic that is YouTube.

Alice Cooper has been a favorite performer of Roberto's and mine for a very long time.  He's always incorporated some hefty doses of horror, gore and gallows humor into his songs and concerts.  It makes perfect sense that he would lend his imagination to a haunted maze at this year's Halloween Horror Nights.

So sit back, turn off the lights and enjoy Alice Cooper Goes to Hell through the eyes of the people at Sharpe Productions' YouTube channel.

That will be all for this post.  I hope to post something else very soon before the Halloween season is completely over, so keep an eye out for it.

Until next time, stay vertical!

Finally! A Decent Horror Film to Enjoy.

In a previous blog I was bemoaning the issue that it had been quite a spell since I had seen a Horror movie that I really enjoyed.  Well, last weekend I rented a German movie that I finally had a darn good time watching.  It wasn't one of the greatest movies, but in a genre that is infested with the same old, same old, it was refreshing.

The movie I speak of is called....

We Are The Night.

I've never been a big, artsy-fartsy fan of foreign films.  I know they have a lot to offer in our artistic culture of film, but I don't cotton well to trying to read subtitles during a movie that is filled to the gills with long stares and awkward silences.  YAWN!

But, I forged on through this film and was pleased I did (I set it on the English audio.  Hee).

From the get go, this film grabs your attention and tells a decent, modern day, vampire story the way it should be told.  And that is with some ass-kickin' and vampires that do little brooding.

The story revolves around a young, street savvy girl who is a small time thief.  Her life drastically changes when she is seduced and plunged into the world of the blood sucking dead.  As she learns the ways of being a part of a sexy, female vampire brood, she also yearns for the human life she left behind.  And of course, it all slowly falls apart.

The Germans did in one film what the Twilight films continue to fail miserably at.  And that's tell a decent, modern day vampire tale.

Sexiness, bloodshed, action sequences are all part of the formula that got my interest level all oozed up into this film.  Sure, there are some sexy vampiresses in this movie.  But, there's also a decent story.

Just check it out for yourselves.  If you like a good vampire story, it's worth it.


Quickly, we are coming to an end of the Halloween season and I have at least one more post for you that will be in the spooktacular vein.  I also may just have another Haunted Attraction review for you.  Cross your fingers.

Until next time, stay vertical! 

My Town is Haunted Up the Wazoo!.

We are now deep into the Halloween season and the ghosts and ghouls are wandering freely about these dark, cold, chilly nights.  Our first impression may be to lock our doors and hide under our covers.  But, if we truly want to experience the Halloween season we must go forth, out into the night and experience the world of the unknown.

Over time I have learned that my little, midwestern town is not immune to unearthly visitors.  In fact, I have reason to believe that this town is one of the most haunted in the United States.  Don't believe me?  Take a gander at THIS....

This documentary on local haunts was produced by students of my alma mater and is a fine documentation of the spooky visitors that inhabit our town.

If you're still not a believer, you can come here and see for yourself.  During the summer and fall many Ghost Tours are available.  The one I took recently was Gothic Milwaukee Ghost Tours.  This will take you from Downtown Milwaukee's Cathedral Square, through the city streets, down to our River Walk and then back up to our town hall.  The ghosts stories revealed here include the ghost of the Pfister Hotel (Mr. Pfister himself), The Altar Boy Ghost of St. John's Cathedral, creepy Lake Michigan maritime tragedies as well as the ghost story involving our town hall.  There's also a photo opportunity with our famous Bronze Fonz.  The night I went was plagued with a rather nasty rain storm, but our tour guide found a safe haven where she told us a even more ghost stories. So rain or shine, you'll get your money's worth.

Another Ghost Tour you can take is the one featured in the above video.  Milwaukee Ghost Tours offers a tour down in our Third Ward area, which is just south of downtown and features wonderful bars, restaurants and boutiques.  I haven't had a chance to take this tour yet.  But, I'd love to if I could find souls brave enough to go with me.

Since you'd already be down in the Third Ward, you might as well venture right on over to Shaker's Cigar Bar.  Cigars, adult drinks AND ghosts?  Sign me up!!!  This old Milwaukee bar was once a brothel and speakeasy back in the day.  Many a spirit lurk about here and you can take a wonderfully guided tour.  It's a little on the pricey side compared to other ghost tours, but may be well worth it since you can finish it off with a nice cigar and great atmosphere.  I need to get down there more often!

Other local haunts that were touched upon in the documentary were The Rave (which I've blogged about HERE) and the Pabst Mansion.   I have a very close relative that was a one time tour guide at the Pabst  Mansion.  During his volunteer work there I would ask him if the creepy Victorian mansion was haunted.  He would tell me,  "No".  But, when his volunteer work ended he told me that he was told not to speak of the ghostly activity there.  They really want to focus on the historical side of the house.  But, yes, the house has some spooky things that go on in it.  Odd noises and voices can be heard up on the third floor office area.  They really need to be not so uptight about the ghosts and perhaps employ them into the tours.  They would probably have a far better draw that way.

So it's pretty frackin' cool to live in one of the most haunted cities in the US.  Even though nobody really reads this frellin' blog, if you happen to come across it and are not from Milwaukee, you need to come here!  If not for the beer, perhaps for the other numerous spirits that wisp about out city.


On that note, lets go to a fabricated haunt or Haunted Attraction as I like to call them.  Every year the Universal Theme Park puts on a Haunted Attraction extravaganza called Halloween Horror Nights.  One of the mazes they are featuring this year is based on the grosstasticly awesome AMC TV show The Walking Dead which just started its third season.  So lets head on through The Walking Dead maze......

Wonderful!  Enough zombies to wet your undead appetite for a good, long time!  And of course the new season that has just started is  incredible!!  In fact, I have my recorder set to tape it tonight since I'm going to be enjoying a family pumpkin carving party tonight.

I need to get going on some serious pumpkin carving.  So until next time, embrace the dead and try and stay vertical!

Zangz.

A Blogload of Spookiness and Then Some.

At some point during the Halloween season I like to dedicate at least one blog post to horror movie reviews of the plethora of horror movies I watch throughout the season.  But, to be bluntly honest, it's been quite a spell since I  have watched a horror movie that I felt is worth mentioning.  Most of today's horror movies are copy cats of one another.  It's either a brutal, gore-fest or it's trying really hard to be a psychological, paranormal thriller using tricks to try and creep us out that have been used a thousand times before.

So this year I may just put the horror movie reviews on the back burner.  Hopefully, down the road, I'll watch a horror movie that will be cool enough to tell you all about.

In the meantime, I do have something Halloween themed I can review for you.  I had the fortune to visit a new Haunted Attraction in town.  My buddy, Bones, and I braved up and hit the road south of here to visit.....

The Abandoned Haunted House Complex - This haunt is brand spanking new and has been in development for the last two years.  I remember seeing the building with the sign on it that read "Haunted House Complex" when I would be going south toward Chicago, usually to visit the local Renaissance fair that is nearby.  I always wondered about it because I heard very little about it.  It's a big enough building that once housed a banquette hall and bar. Apparently it was still in the building stages.

After going through this past Friday night, Bones and I were pretty impressed with it.  It's main strength is with its scare-actors.  All were in character at all times and having a blast, which can be fully witnessed if you get there early enough, just before it opens, when all of the ghouls come rushing out from behind a small and dilapidated farm house adjacent to the complex.  Before most of them enter into the complex they spook and freak out patrons that are in line.  A few of the ghouls stay outside to continue to torment the patrons waiting to get in.  One creepy clown was especially effective on the group of young girls afflicted with coulrophobia.

The outside of the complex isn't adorned with too much of a creepy facade.  There is a body hanging from a noose, however.  Once you enter into the first room of the haunt, it is evident that the settings improve greatly from the outside.  A very good talent for detail is evident throughout the haunt, making most of the settings pretty cool to look at.  The lighting effects were also pretty mesmerizing in some places.  There is a severe lack of hydraulic or pneumatic special effect props here that you'll find in many local haunts.  This haunt relies on it's heavy use of scare-actors jumping out from the corners of darkness.  Some of my favorite areas where the hallways where severed heads and body parts where hanging by ropes, swaying back on forth and you had to navigate around them.  That was pretty much all the prop movement that was utilized in this haunt.  There was also another part where I was convinced we were going in circles... or where we?

It was also a pretty decent in its length.  I'd say it took a good 20 minutes or so to get through the whole thing.  And we were moving at a decent pace too.

If I had to come up with a negative I'd have to say the price is a little steep in what they are offering.  Many local haunts deliver just as good an experience for under the $20 it costs to go through this haunt.      Perhaps, if in future years, they could incorporate a few big ticket effects they could justify the full $20 price.  It's not cheap to run a haunt.  I get that.  But, you also want to stay competitive.

But, in the end, this place is fun and shows a lot of promise.  Major kudos to the actors and actresses in this place.  They are a top notch group!


Now I've regaled you with my visit to a haunt, let's all go to one together.  This is a special viewing of a haunt known as Lemp Brewery located in St. Louis, MO.  It was filmed during a "lights on" tour for a Haunted Attraction symposium.  It is broken down in a few parts and brougt to YouTube by the wonderful people at McKamey Manor.  Don't let the "lights on" fool you.  It is still a wonderful and spooky attraction to behold.  Here we go....

Ya know.  Since we got this footage form McKamey Manor (currently in San Diego), why don't we visit them also?

That's a heck of a lot of haunting for today.  Let's move on to another topic other than Halloween and Haunted attractions.  Trust me.  This subject will be worth it.

There has been a lot of Buzz about the new James Bond Movie coming out next month.   Reviews of Skyfall are already starting to surface and people are saying that this will be one of the greatest Bond movies of all time.  I don't want o get myself over excited, but November 9th can't come soon enough!

You can read brief summaries of the reviews HERE!  Only the reviewer for The Gardian seems to be a fuddy duddy about the movie.

Here's a few more goodies to wet the appetite before Skyfall's release!

So there you go.   A post with a whole bevy of video goodies to get you into the Halloween mode as well as the Skyfall mode.

Until next time, stay vertical!

Zangz.

Let's go sightseeing.....WITH THE DEAD!

Recently, I found myself yearning to go do something Halloween influenced as well as being able to take in the fall colors.  Due to a elongated (and very expensive) trip to my auto mechanic this past weekend, I was able to break away and take a little jaunt down the street from the shop where one of the oldest and most beautifully creeptastic graveyards is located.

Not only where the fall colors in their peak, the graveyard gave off a gothic eerie atmosphere even though it was broad daylight.  Come with me and let's walk among the graves.....bruahahahahah!  God I sound like a dramatic goth kid.

Can you hear them?

Our tour begins here looking at a plethora of very old graves dating back to the 1800's.  Stone after stone after stone has a story to tell of friends and family members as well as ancestors long passed.  Do you hear their whispers as we pass by?  I do.  WELL THEN, UNCLOG YOUR EARS, 'CAUSE I CAN HEAR THEM JUST FINE AND DANDY!  Sorry, I lost it for a minute.  Let's move on.  hey, look at this stone over here!

1850....a good year to die.

Here is a weathered grave of someone who has left their mortal coil over a century ago.  Does her spirit haunt this graveyard at night?  Or does she take up occupancy elsewhere?  Perhaps she is floating around an old victorian mansion somewhere.  Or perhaps she's waiting under your bed when you sleep at night?  Either way the results are creepy.

Look how the fall colors add beauty to the grave stones.

These five gravestones sit under a tree emblazoned with leaves.  Soon those leaves will fall to the ground and groundskeeper Ernie will have to rake them all up.  While he's raking them, he'll bitch about the workload of raking.  He'll be so preoccupied with complaining that he will not notice the corpses rising out of the graves nearby.  He'll turn around once it's too late and the living dead will feast on his flesh as his cries go ignored.  Just like in a horror movie.  I swear to god that will happen.  My imagination runs amok.

If you look closely, you'll notice the moon is still out.  It was around 11:00 in the morning and the overseer of the night was still keeping it's eye on the dead.  It's with good reason when it's around the Halloween season.

At the top of the large hill within the graveyard there sits a mysterious mausoleum.  What or who dwells within is a mystery.  The grounds keepers keep it good and locked up.  Is it to keep people out, or perhaps to keep something inside?  (Got that little quote from the Haunted Mansion.  Not very original, but still effective).

Don't frackin' BLINK!!!

There was a recent archeological finding within the moors of England.  A very old tablet was unearthed with ancient writing that was recently translated from what was believed to be a forgotten druid language.  It warned of a race of beings from another world that would pose as statues of angels so they could watch us from afar.  As soon as we would turn our heads away from them, THEY WOULD POUNCE and devour our souls.  There was also some writings about a man in a blue box, but that isn't important right now.  What is important is the fact that I spent 4 hours staring at this friggin' statue until I realized that sometimes "a statue is just a statue" and that a dullard with an overactive imagination is just a dullard with an overactive imagination.

It is now time to leave the dead to their rest.  For it is still daylight and the cold, hard ground under the daytime sunlight is the only protection we have.  Once the dusk approaches, things will start to stir and lurk about, sniffing at the night air for human flesh or the souls of the living.  We have several hours before the dead rise, so lets make a good and safe beat and path out of here.  I hope you've had a nice walk amongst the graves.


On to more Halloween activities.  I promised you another visit to a YouTube haunted attraction so lets go.  Here's a behind the scenes walk through the Factory of Terror, brought o you by HauntCon.

Apparently the dead have followed me home and I now have to exorcise my apartment.  Just my luck.  Until next time.

Zangz.