The Unseelie Incursion of 1994... I WAS THERE!

There's a lot of magic flowing through the genres as of late. This past month saw the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix to the movie theaters. On top of that there was the release of the 7th and final Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".

Though, I cherish all things geekesqe and fantastical, I never really fell head over heels for the whole Harry Potter craziness. I'm more of a Star Wars kind of guy. However, I do praise what it has done to bring the realms of the fantastic to young readers while also getting kids interested in reading again. But, I also felt it was a little too geared to much younger fans than myself. Believe it or not, I've only read the first book and found it to be... cute. I've seen all the movies, with the exception the most current, ...Order of the Phoenix. Apparently everybody went to go see it without me (hurumph, hurumph). I find I've liked each movie a little more than the last. The previous one, Goblet of Fire, seemed to edge it's way closer to being my kind of movie - dark and spooky. I've heard that Order is even more on track with what I dig. But, again, everybody saw it without me (hurumph, hurumph).

Harry Potter is now as much a part of modern pop culture as Micky Mouse, Darth Vader and The Fonz (please, younger readers, please tell me you know who The Fonz is, as to not let me feel that I'm grown much older every second of the day!). The release of the latest book summoned many a Potter geek to bookstores in the late evening of it's release in hopes they would walk away with the final answers to all of the Potter questions. My friends Roberto, Iris and Peej stood outside of a Target all night to get their mits on "The Deathly Hallows". Would I tease them in jest for doing so? Frack NO! After all, I stood outside for 6 hours prior to a midnight showing of Episode III! God bless the geeks of this world!!!!

J.K. Rowling must bathe naked in a bath filled with nothing but money (come to think of it, I'd like to see that!)

If I get to see Phoenix this week, I'll give you the blow by blow in the space below.......

Actually, I decided to do the review in the most recent blog since I have other things to yammer about. So, check there for my review of the movie.

Also spooging forth from the realms of Magic and fantasy comes Neil Gaiman's "Stardust" to the big screen. I believe it is the first of one of my favorite author's works to be adapted into film. I got into Gaiman through the phenomenal comics he has written. His most popular being "The Sandman". He is also the author of one of my favorite dark fantasy novels, "Neverwhere". I believe I've blogged about one of his best known novels, "American Gods" before.

I've never read "Stardust", but the fact that the always unimaginably beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer is in this film will make me make it a point to try and catch it in the theater. Oh yeah, De Nero's in it too. He's got some acting chops, doesn't he?

Gaimen, Pfeiffer and De Nero! This has boatloads of potential!

In other magical news, I've discovered the literary world of detective / mage, Harry Dresden from author Jim Butcher's "The Dreseden Files" series. I've always heard that these were really fun reads but could never find the first one of the series. Luckily, last weekend, I found "Storm Front" and, though I'm just starting it, I'm enjoying the frack out of the story.

The SciFi Channel actually made the Dreseden files into a TV series. I've caught parts of a couple episodes of it. Not bad. But, so far I'm enjoying the first novel more so than the TV series. Note: The vampire chick in the TV series is quite fetching, according to my friend, Bruce.

Anyway, Since the character fo Harry Dresden resides in Chicago, I found it quite amusing he notes a fictional even that occurred here in Milwaukee, the Unseelie Incursion of 1994.

"...when the entire city of Milwaukee had simply vanished for two hours. Gone. Government satellite photos showed the river valley covered with trees and empty of life or human habitation. All communications ceased. Then, a few hours later, there it was, back again, and no one in the city itself the wiser."

Oddly enough, I do remember a couple of hours that I blanked out in '94. I was in my tub reading Haunted Attraction Magazine when... ZAPPO... lights out. Then I awoke still in the tub a few hours later all moist and wrinkly. Could this have been the Unseelie Incursion of 1994? Or was it the 6 pack of Samuel Adams' Octoberfest I consumed beforehand? One may never know.

You're asking me for more movie reviews? Allow me to oblige....

• Miami Vice - This falls into the "90+ minutes of my life I'll never get back" file. This was the most boring action thriller I've ever seen! I thought I was bored by the TV series? Well, the movie certainly passes that torch. Not only is there no chemistry between the main characters of Crocket and Tubbs, all of the villains are completely generic. On top of that crap heap, viewers will have to wait until the last 45 minutes of the movie to see any action. Up until then it's a lot of cheesy, machismo cop lingo and bravado between the main characters. The only character you give a flying whooey about is Tubb's girlfriend / co-worker, played by Naomi Harris (The voo-doo queen from the Pirates movies). And I'm not just saying that 'cause she has a brief nude scene..... well, maybe a little. Wait until this one ends up in rotation between the USA, FX and TBS cable channels.
• Snakes on a Plane - This one got a hell of a lot of pre-Internet hype before it's release. Naming it Snakes on a Plane helped a bit as it hints at the goofy action movie that it is. Even though it's far from being set with the Die Hards and Leathal Weapons in our action genre DVDs, it's still a good silly implausible romp. And Samuel Jackson does his usual share of bad-ass-madre-frackin' a$$ kickin'. Even though the script is pretty horrible, the shear silliness of it is worth taking a peek at. Who knew that snakes could be trained by drug dealers to bite people directly in their private parts?
• Blood and Chocolate - This is the Werewolf version of Lost Boys. A group of trendy youths, including the sultry (did I actually use the word sultry?... god, I need a date) Agnes Bruckner roam about modern day Budapest as a clan of werewolves. She falls in love with a human and all hell breaks loose. Though it's visually interesting and there's some good characterization, it doesn't exactly measure up as a revitalization of modern horror mythos the way Lost Boys did. The script plods along and the story slows to a bit of a crawl at times. I should mention that if you liked The Lost Boys or have played Vampire: The Masquerade or Werewolf: The Apocalypse, you may want to check this one out. It's far from being a disappointment. I know I enjoyed it, though Roberto and Iris, who I saw it with, fell asleep at times while watching it.

Well, I've finally finished watching the Deadwood series and will comment on that at a later time. I'm also full into Gears of War and am at a horribly difficult part involving a huge monster that is protected by a legion of man eating bats... while we're on a moving train. Perhaps Roberto may have some clues as to how to get out of this mess?

Anyway, until next time, if you find that you've inexplicably lost some hours in the day, blame the Unseelie Incursion.

Zangz.

(Please note: I do appologize for some problems that Blogger is having with separating paragraphs and spacing issues. I've tried to edit and fix the problems to no avail. Sometimes I love Blogger, sometimes... not so much.)

Cigars, Skeezes, Stilettos and Stan's Dark Alliance....

It's been a few weeks so lets get ourselves seeped right into the fray, shall we?

Last time I left off I was going to go see the band Sevendust at a local outdoor music festival. The outcome was quite enjoyable. Picture if you will, your hero, Zangz, sitting on a bleacher with a sweet cigar in one hand and a nice dark brew in the other whilst listening to the power that is Sevendust. All was well with the world.

Honestly, the band is one of the more powerful and tight groups I've ever seen. The crowd was really into it as they sang along on many tunes.

Honorable mentions must go to the supporting acts who weren't half bad at all. Check out Point 1 and Diecast if you like your music with balls.

And yes, there was the sweet smell of skunk weed in the air. And I'm pretty frackin' sure it wasn't my cigar.


Hey! The new season of Dr. Who has finally reached American television and I'm once again enjoying it thoroughly as a good geek should. The Doctor's new side kick is wonderful and the stories are as fun as they were in the last two seasons. A friend who's already seen the entire season through BitTorrent capabilities says there's an unexpected surprise with the sidekick issue this season. I'll have to wait and see. In fact it's on in 45 minutes. So I gotta hustle.


So, there's news of a new James Bond author who's going to start writing more adult oriented James Bond novels as they had been previously written, before they tried to give the character the whole Harry Potter treatment.

Sadly, they didn't ask my personal favorite Bond author back, Raymond Benson. The new guy is named Sabastian Faulks. Frell if I know what he's done before. The book will be called, "Devil May Care" and is due in May of 2008. I'm hoping he's as good as Benson and not dry and boring like past authors. The book takes the Bond character back to the cold war of the late 60's. We'll see about this one. Personally I thought that Benson was doing a pretty darn good job at it. I wished he would have been given the chance to continue. I've heard rumors that he's on to more original mystery/suspense fiction. Kudos to him!


What cigars am I enjoying smoking presently? Well, I thought you'd never offer.

Right now I'm quite in enjoyment of the sweet and smooth Drew Estate brand cigar known as Acid's Kuba Kuba. Makes me smack my lips as I smoke it! Then there's the dark and smooth as love in the afternoon CAO MX2, a maduro that's filled with flavor, yet does not overpower. Then there's one that I just tried this past week that blew me away. Another maduro that is quite smooth and flavorful, the Gurkha: Doble Maduro.


You have another question for me? What movies have I caught up on lately? A few....

• Transformers - Though, it's your typical Michael Bay schlock-fest, it's fun as hell! If you were a fan of the toys or cartoon, you'll probably like it 10 times as much as I did. And if you weren't, there's some babe-age to gawk at also. Definitely a thumbs up for this one!
• Transporter II - Speaking of schlock-fests, this one is hard to beat. This is good if you're craving a quick, overpowered, implausible action feast. We've seen the plot before, we've seen the action before. We just haven't seen it all at this fast paced tempo. On top of all that, there's a skeezy female assassin who does everything in stiletto heels. What's not to love about that? Fun, yet ridiculous. Action fans must rent this!

I'm also almost done with watching the entire series of Deadwood and I've kind of gotten a liking to Carnivale. I've taken a peek at both Oz and Rome, but neither have really grabbed me like Deadwood has. I'll let you all know how I like the entire series once I'm done with it.

My good cohort, Roberto Del Amorte, has lent me the 360 game Gears of War to futz around with. So far, I really like what I've played. Non stop, heart pounding, shoot-em-up action, huge elaborate and spooky settings! Everything I love about good shooter video games. I'll give a review once I'm done with it.

Speaking of Roberto, the month of August creeps slowly closer, which means one thing.... The Fires of Robahain Shall Burn Brightly in the coming month. Simply speaking, Roberto is lucky enough to have a wife who throws him a sort of Rob-A-Palooza for his B-day every year. This celebration usually ends in bloodshed, tears and laughter. In that order. That's coming up this Labor Day weekend. So I'm looking forward to that.

Is it wrong for me to already be thinking about Halloween? I'm already mapping out Haunted Attractions I want to check out. Perhaps Blood City, The Burial Chamber and Morgan Manor may have to be visited this upcoming season of the dead. Hmmmmmm?

On an end notation, there's a horrific rumor that Stan "The Man" Lee, a comic book god who created some of the most famous of all superheroes, might be stooping down to a level that not even the Amazing Spider-Man could get him out of.

Apparently he is teaming up with Paris Hilton (the human embodiment of all that is evil and wrong about the socially elite, greed-filled and shallow of the world) and they're going to put together a superhero cartoon show featuring her. WTF?

That's one good way to lose the respect of thousands of comic book geeks, team up with someone who probably wouldn't give one of them a nanosecond of their time, let alone spit in their general direction. I mean servants at her masnion probably have to spend many an hour scrapping boogers off of the ceiling since her nose is so frackin' high in the air.

Has Stan gone the way of Dr. Doom or is he going senile?

For the luv 'o' Christ, Stan, say it ain't so!!!!

On that note, let's all cross our fingers and hope to the good lord that Stan comes to his senses.

I'm off for some Dr. Who and then some cigar smoking. Until the next bunch of useless ramblings, Stay Vertical!

Zangz.

A Pinnicale Geek Moment......

Once in a blue moon you come a cross a moment in time where you find yourself in a state of self realization and, seemingly, view yourself from the 3rd person. It's kind of like floating outside of your body and looking at yourself in judgement. It's not in some paranormal, spiritual, astral projection kind of way. Like I said, it's a self realization kind of vibe.

I had one of those moments a couple of days ago. I found myself at a local, outdoor, music festival standing and waiting in an hour long, pouring rain storm to see............................... Weird Al Yankovic.

WHO STANDS IN A FRIGGIN' RAIN STORM TO SEE WEIRD AL?!?!?!?!?!

............. a geek. That's who.

As I reach a milestone age that most of us want nothing to do with and stop counting birthdays once we reach it, I look around and I find my friends getting married/buying homes/having children and subscribing to the "normal" lifestyle. And there I was, as moist as can be waiting to see a guy who jams out on an accordion doing Star Wars music parodies.

There is no going back for me, gang. I'm committed. Though I may die alone at least I can lie on my death bed and tell the nurse, who will care less, that I saw Weird Al Yankovic perform "Yoda" in a Jedi robe while I was completely sopped. ............ (break for weeping and self loathing) .....................................

Ok, another interesting tid-bit that I found a little odd about the Weird Al show was that as he opened his set with a medley of popular tunes played in polka style, I caught the whiff of the herb. You know, ganja, doobies, weed.

WHO THE FRACK SMOKES WEED AT A WEIRD AL SHOW?!?!?!?!?!

This wasn't the Blue Oyster Cult show that played at that stage the week before, fer crissakes. I'm no tea-totaler, but I found it an odd juxtaposition listening to Weird Al crank it out on his accordian while the sweet stank of skunk weed passed under my nose. Hmm... odd.

Anyway, it was a fun show with lots of multimedia input as a lot of the show was Weird Al's old MTV comedy show projected on a big assed video screen hung behind the band. There were also a lot of costume changes for all, my favorite being the authentic Jedi robe for his Star Wars part of the show.

In the end, a good time was had by us all as my longtime friend, Goof ,and his lovely wife Gale are in town visiting and accompanied me to experience the whole moist, pot smelling, Weird Al experience.

I will have you know that I am attempting to boost up my "cool guy" cred tonight as I'm going back to said music festival to see the band Sevendust. Now there I'll smell some skunk weed for sure.


Hey! They're finally starting to shoot the 4th instalment in the Indiana Jones movies! We're going to see the results come next May. This is one I'm really looking forward to. Please, good, Lord, don't let them frell this one up. Pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease.


Movies I've gotten caught up with lately? Sure, I thought you'd never ask.

• Man on Fire - In this action / drama, Denzel Washington plays a body guard bent on retribution against a professional gang of kidnappers in Latin America. This movie kicked a bit of butt for me. I wasn't expecting it to be as good as I found it. There's a great cast and darn good action involved. Add to that, there's a good story being told. Expect a few decent twists and turns as well. Worth the rental!
• The Stepford Wives - I was hoping for a few scenes of the robotic wives of the upper class community of Stepford going haywire and tearing apart their husbands who have condemned them to life of subservient domestication. After all, that's the way made for TV sequel to the original 1975 film ended. But, instead of what could have been a really creepy, Sci-Fi story that ends in destruction and bloodshed ended up being a half-assed comedic farce. Despite the big name cast, it was very poorly acted. Kind of like an 8th grade talent show. I don't know if director Frank Oz (voice of Yoda) was going for a campy performance from his actors, but everyone, some of them academy award winners, were horribly over acting as though it was their first role ever. WTF? Pass on this one, unless you like man-bashing and poor acting.
• Night at the Museum - Ben Stiller played the new night watchman at a museum where, during his late shift, all the displays and statues come to life and wreck havoc. This wasn't a "laugh out loud" yuk fest, but it was a cute comedy and fun to watch. And Carla Gugino is always quite fetching.
• Layer Cake - Daniel Craig shows off his pre-James Bond acting chops in this cool as frell English crime thriller. I was incredibly impressed with Craig as a drug dealer who wants to get out of the biz, but finds himself being sucked deeper in. It may take a few viewings to understand how the plot works, but this was another good one. It's a damn fine rental and I may even buy it one day!

In closing, I hope you had a nice and safe Independence day! Mine, by the way, involved mass amounts of yuppies and their families, being surrounded by several firework displays (you gotta know where to go, folks), being eaten alive by squadron after squadron of mosquitoes and a good helping of meatloaf and corn. So I'd say it was a success. I'm taking a few days off to unwind. I'll let you know how Sevendust is.

Until next time...

Still moist and lovin' it.

Zangz.